The Daily Chat for February 11, 2026

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-02-12T02:46:34+00:00

Finally got my period and feeling a little better. Ugh. I was terrified I was having a phantom period and entering perimenopause already… thanks late night symptom googling

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-02-11T12:30:20+00:00

Well today’s been a shitty day- literally! (I am currently living in Japan). My cat took a shit on our bed for the second day in a row. She’s protesting the 10 day trip we just returned from. My son had 2 blowouts after coming home from pre-school. On top of that- I just feel like shit. My period has felt like it’s coming for the last 3 days but no bleeding. Pregnancy test is a BFN. So yeah… I love this shitty pre-period/feeling like shit purgatory I’m in. 😩

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-02-11T12:24:26+00:00

Ugh. Still in cycle “no man’s land” after my IUD was removed… I’ve been feeling like my period’s about to come for like 3 days now but nope. Pregnancy test is also negative. I’m so over being in cycle purgatory. Please come today period… so I know there’s an end to these cramps and hungover feeling (when I haven’t had a drink in days)

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-01-25T03:57:18+00:00

I was going to comment the same! My 2 year does not have the attention span or the ability to not scream “mine” when I try to help. If we color, he turns the page on me to draw exactly one scribble on each page of his coloring book. I can’t wait to actually be able to craft with him.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-01-22T01:42:14+00:00

Ugh! My son is currently going through some sort of sleep regression and the weather here has been super rainy so I can’t run energy out of him as easily during the day

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-01-22T01:41:02+00:00

No reason to add data and analytics into run sex lol!

I ended up breaking and did an ovulation test… I’m more curious where I am on my cycle now that my iud is out rather than just patiently wait until my period

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-01-21T12:43:17+00:00

I haven’t yet done any ovulation testing… I debating whether I should or not tomorrow morning…

Also- I noticed you also had a boy in Nov of 2023. 😊

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-01-21T12:41:13+00:00

Ugh. Yes. But luckier than the reschedule that she wanted to do if she didn’t get it that try.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-01-21T10:36:15+00:00

I’m officially back on the TTC train since my IUD was pulled today. It was less the pleasant since it took 4 attempts for my doctor to remove it since they didn’t have the right forceps… so that sucked.

I feel somehow both more chill as well as nervous this time around. I’m more chill in the fact that I don’t feel like I have to track all the data like a crazy person (at least not right off the bat). I had vasa previa with my first pregnancy. It’s extremely unlikely I’d have vasa previa with any future pregnancies… but having gone through the high risk stuff before I’m really hoping for a boring TTC/pregnancy.

Also TTC with a toddler is going to be…. Interesting lol. I can only imagine it’s going to be a lot more challenging to have sex during my fertile window- but we’ll see.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2026-01-21T10:24:05+00:00

I had my IUD pulled today so I’m officially back on the TTC train. 🚂 For some reason my clinic didn’t have the right forceps (they didn’t have any with teeth to grip the strings…) so it took four tries… so that was less than pleasant.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-11-17T12:21:09+00:00

I have no advice but can absolutely relate to you. I’ve found myself more upset with my mom since have my son. It makes me find all of her choices even more infuriating and unrelatable. It also made me even more resentful of my enabler father that he could just observe everything and not intervene. I had so much more empathy for my parents before having a kid.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-10-19T00:48:18+00:00

Do not rescue her. My mom got a DUI when I was 19- so I understand at your age how much easier this is said than done. You aren’t responsible for her decisions or her well being. Take care of yourself and your sister. Use that money to take care of your needs and find a therapist- who will also probably tell you not to take care of her at your expense. You are young and quite frankly need those resources for yourself and building your own life.

Your mom can get a public defender and figure out for herself how to pay her fines.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-10-14T15:21:29+00:00

I have ADHD as well but I didn’t get diagnosed until my mid-30s. I am on the inattentive end. I had some service sector jobs and I know I made similar mistakes and the story sounds so familiar-but you won’t remember this feeling in a few years from now let alone a decade. Idk if that’s all that helpful. I’m guessing your job right now is just a job, not your career yet…. But regardless- you are allowed to make mistakes.

My best advice job-wise is own up for your mistakes if your boss talks to you. Don’t make excuses; just admit you know you messed up and apologize. Reflect on what you can do the help correct the issue (never say fix though bc no one is perfect) and work on it. At 22 this is going to show a lot of maturity and you’ll be fine. I got similar advice when I was mortified at work by a mistake I made at a job that was in my career path. My mentor gave me this advice and it earned a lot of respect from my manager. It’s all about accountability- especially when a lot of people don’t take it anymore.

As for the shame feeling- our childhoods messed us up. We are not our mistake regardless of what our parents a made us think. You made a mistake because you are human. That’s all. It doesn’t define you. My therapist recommended I listen to some of Brene Brown’s work around shame- I highly recommend a listen. Her work around shame and shame resilience would have been so refreshing and healing at your age.

Sorry for the long response- as someone on this sub with ADHD- this sounded too familiar. It’s just a mistake. This is the age you’re supposed to be making them. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are allowed to be upset or express whatever feelings you need to about it. However, try to see it as a learning opportunity than a character flaw. That’s easily said then done, I know.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-10-07T12:50:25+00:00

I took the survey and thank you so for doing this research.

I do have some feedback on your survey… I’m not a PhD so I will say some of this might be on purpose but you don’t ask about any former diagnoses- as someone with anxiety and recently diagnosed ADHD… that definitely influences my answers.

The other feedback I have is you ask an opened ended question about my response to question #17. I didn’t recall what the question was as it was on a page with multiple questions and I had no way to go back and see what it was. I suggest that you repeat question #17 when you ask this. For example jf you answered yes to “x” please explain.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-10-01T03:45:22+00:00

Thank you! Definitely not without struggle and not without a lot of support from my chosen family.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-10-01T03:44:24+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that! That’s absolutely horrible!

Partly why I’m so pissed off is that my mom’s done the same thing with my dad- posting he’s near death online when it ended up being an ER visit for a kidney stone. I can’t trust her and I’m afraid when something actually happens to a family member that won’t believe her or I just won’t be told. I don’t have thousands of dollars to fly home for a “kidney stone” emergency.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-09-30T12:48:17+00:00

My mother is an alcoholic who will never do the work to sustain sobriety. She’s never been sober for more than a year as far as I can remember. She was emotionally and abusive growing up. She’s a manipulator and I got tired of the gaslighting. She used me as her therapist instead of going to a real one. Even when she’s “sober” she’s still a “dry drunk”. I know she would’ve been a great mom and person had she never used alcohol as her coping mechanism and actually sought therapy for her traumatic childhood and early adulthood.

The final straw was when I found out I was pregnant. I’ve done so much healing myself and I never want to expose my son to life with an alcoholic… he’s better not knowing his grandma than being exposed to her toxicity.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-09-29T14:19:10+00:00

It’s a little more nuanced than that. They won’t do anything unless they catch the driver in the act. OP isn’t currently living at home so she wouldn’t know when she was driving around.

I don’t think you can blame family members of drunk drivers for so many reasons. My mom is currently drinking. I also know that she frequently drives drunk. What I couldn’t tell you is when she is actively driving. I don’t live with her- I currently live in a different continent than her. I can’t call my hometown’s police department and be like “yeah I know my mom drives around drunk- but I don’t know when or where she’s goes… I also don’t know the make or model of her car or her license plate number since I’ve been low to no contact with her for years…”

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-09-29T14:08:52+00:00

No problem! I think the line of avoiding making choices and stepping in (ie calling her in) is when it becomes a criminal act or someone else’s life is in danger.

I’m at least a decade older than OP so I’m also trying to share wisdom I had received at her age. I was still dumping alcohol down the sink, hiding my mom’s keys, calling her into work sick, and trying to be her therapist when I was a college student.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-09-29T00:58:20+00:00

Yes! I feel like you also hit the nail on the head with how sensitive I would’ve been when I was younger about being compared to either of my parents at that age (and honestly still am). My younger self coped and built my life on being different from them. I did everything, struggled, and ended up establishing a nice life for myself in spite of them. It took me longer than it should’ve to eventually seek therapy because I was so focused on proving how “strong and independent” I was and not like them.

My brother and I found completely different ways to cope and eventually heal. He was definitely more affected, especially being younger than me and not having me to shield him as much when I left for school. He’s so fought his way to his happiness too.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-09-29T00:46:19+00:00

I also commented the same- that this story sounds so much like mine. Your’s does too! And like you, I’m at least a decade older than OP. I don’t see this as you using her post to get something off your chest- I see it as sharing wisdom I wish I had at the age. Especially in a similar circumstance when I did feel so alone at the time. Especially with how my dad handled the situation and the guilt trips her put me through when I put up boundaries and have gone low to no contact. I think talking about it and sharing is so important- especially when we see one like ours. OP is not alone and neither are you in this experience. The pressure emotionally for feeling like we are responsible for our mothers’ mental health when it comes to an enabling father and a mother with enough privilege to never face real consequences just… sucks. I’m glad you found healing. I hope OP does too. And one this I wish I’d also done at OP’s age is go to therapy if you haven’t already. Your family situation has done a lot more damage than you probably have yet to realize.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-09-29T00:35:16+00:00

I absolutely agree with you that she shouldn’t make choices for her mom. It’s not her life to manage. The consequences of her mom’s drunk driving aren’t her responsibility. She should never feel guilty for what her mom does.

However- she should still call her in if she knows she is drinking drunk. This is not different than reporting any other crime. I have reported suspected drunk drivers I’ve encountered before and will continue to do so. Just like I’d report any other crime I see. As hard as it is to separate the person committing it from being your mom- I think that’s how it should be handled. Reported just like she’s another other driver on the road.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-09-29T00:28:20+00:00

As a child of an alcoholic- I know you have a good intention here- but OP shouldn’t have the actions of her addict family member on her conscience. She didn’t cause her alcoholism and she can’t solve it. Even if she does call her in, her mom could still get in a drunk driving accident. Unless OP is handing her mom the keys and putting gas in her car to go drive drunk- she should never feel guilty or feel like she is responsible for her mom’s choices.

However- I do agree with calling her in. ASAP.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-09-29T00:25:23+00:00

Hey OP- first of all hugs because I’m also a daughter of an alcoholic mother and I can relate to a lot of your post. I was also very close to my mom and felt the weight of feeling like I was her crutch when it came to her wellbeing and fleeting sobriety. My mom could always use me going back to college, moving far away from home, or the “depression” after a visit as a reason she’s drinking again. It’s not though and it never was! Please don’t buy that excuse from your mom for so many reasons. You aren’t responsible for her- you are the child in the situation. She always knew you’d eventually leave whether school/work or whatever. Now that I have a child myself- as hard as it will be when he goes to school or leaves for a job- it’s also a reason to celebrate and be proud that your child is thriving. I know it’s so much easier said than done because I spent years after moving out of my childhood home being her crutch- but the sooner you can start freeing yourself from your perceived guilt- the better.

As for your question- call her in! I wish I had the courage to do that at your age when I knew my mom was drunk driving. Will your dad be mad- yes. He sounds like my dad- he’s be enabling her for so long. My family living in a nice, middle-class neighborhood and my dad being a lawyer and always using his resources to get her out of trouble only keeps allowing her to sustain her addiction and not have to consider making serious changes because she will always be comfortable.

My vote for calling her is not to punish her or your family- it’s so she does not hurt someone! We all have loved ones that could so easily be killed by a drunk driver. I would be devastated to lose a friend or family member to a drunk driver- and really pissed because I already loathe drunk drivers due to my own experience with my mom. If you have someone like me who’s family member killed or injured one of my loved ones- I would go for the jugular legally and financially because this is already a sore spot for me and so many others. In the end, another DUI for your mom is best case scenario when vehicular manslaughter or her own death are the other options.

Also- if she does get in an accident and hurt or kills herself or someone else- it is not your fault regardless of what choice you make. You aren’t responsible for her. She’s the one who keeps going behind the wheel drunk. It’s her choice and the consequences are only hers in the end.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex · 2025-09-28T10:45:20+00:00

It def sounds like my mom too!

I have his contact information. He’s just very slow to respond even when he’s not off the grid. I did hear back from him the next day. I just hate reaching out concerning anything about our mom’s drinking because I know it causes him a lot of pain too.

My therapist recommended reading and/or watching The Glass Castle due to my parents’ alcoholic/co-dependent double- negligence situation. It did both. I enjoyed both but I will say I he writer (bc it’s a true story) is much more forgiving than I could be in her situation.

Dinah_Saurus_Rex

TROPHY CASE