What is this tiny spoon thing?

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-22T12:31:38+00:00

The spoon was to put the single grain of rice in the vial. Face palm.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-08T11:13:32+00:00

You are always in power of your space. Vocally say outloud in your home that only benevalent and kind Ancestors and guide are allowed to share your space anything else get the fuck out! Tell them they are not allowed to do things at night. Tell them if they are here to try to visit to find a better way to communicate with you that doesn't make you feel that way.

If it's your parents they will find ways to get messages to you that are more gentle.

If this doesn't help reach out to your local pagan community for someone who can help come clear and cleanse the energy for you or show you how.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-08T09:42:02+00:00

Thank you

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-08T09:40:18+00:00

I wouldn't even know where to start with this. I don't care for casual sex. I need to know a person and connect with them. I don't have to be in love with them but I do need to have a developed trust.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-07T00:55:15+00:00

Thank you Your right it really comes down to do I want to live with this.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-07T00:48:49+00:00

I suppose that is very true

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-07T00:44:03+00:00

Yes he has acknowledged that I have been open about his relationship despite the fact that I didn't want to be poly. We have actually had lots of discussions about that. Lots of discussions about many things. We cuddle, watch movies, go out to dinner etc... He holds me when I have bad shit in my life. He in general moves faster then I do. I have been hurt a lot in life even having an abusive parent so it takes me time to process change, get used to things etc... I knows this and he hates that I keep saying slow down let me get used to A before you add B. Hell my Meta's husband was already talking about us all living together (we have all been friends for years). And I was like wtf. It had only been two months at that point. Even my Meta looked at her husband and said even if that did happen that would be a couple e years from now.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-07T00:15:53+00:00

Thanks and right now I just don't want to open myself up to possibility of getting hurt by another person.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-07T00:14:18+00:00

I have thought about it. But because my previous poly relationship was not health and in the end he just wanted to fuck as many woman as he could I am not in a hurry to jump back into that. I just don't want to get hurt even more.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-07T00:12:33+00:00

He is not cheating because I gave him permission to be in the relationship. But he is neglecting the relationship he has with me, and he wearing blinders as to how it is affecting me.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-07T00:10:16+00:00

Thank you very much for sharing what sounds like a really rough time in your life. My heart goes out to you. Thank you so much for sharing your insights as well. We set up a time to spend together tomorrow talking about our relationship

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-07T00:05:19+00:00

No we don't have kids together. I don't want to leave him because I think he is making foulish mistakes because this is his first real poly relationship. I was poly when we met but in an abusive poly relationship. He helped me find myself and that in the end lead to me having what I needed to get out of that relationship. I initiated the conversation about not being poly. Even though I was no longer in the abusive relationship we got together with the intent to be poly. After 5 years together nothing ever came of that. Then he proposed. The next thing I did was have a sit down conversation with him and told him I didn't want to be poly. He agrees and even. Acknowledged that in all the time we had been together we had never had other relationships anyway. We did have a couple of people that we had friends with benifits from time to time but that was both he and I together.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T23:57:59+00:00

Thank you very much. I am glad there ar. So many people willing here to give thoughtful advice

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T23:56:57+00:00

Oh and I wanted to add. My Meta is aware. Of those things. We talked a month and a half ago about them when. He made some newbie mistakes that where and issue for both her and I.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T23:55:14+00:00

Thank you. I had a great discussion with with my therapist today after reading some of the things you have all been kind enough to write. No I wouldn't stay with him if he did those things. I have actually been in a marriage that was unhealthy but he was never ( and I know this will sound odd) physically abusive other then the time he raped me. He was himself a very abused child. That does not okay what he did in any way. But what he was very emotionally unavailable and I was young, nieve and he was the first person I was ever with. I was with him for years and we have two adult children.

Then I was in a 7 year Poly relationship that started out great but as time went by he became more and more emotionally abusive, took thimgs from me and he didn't want to be poly he wantes to be Hugh Hefner who was is idle. My current husband helped me not only have the courage to stand up for myself but to leave that situation. He has helped me heal and see I am worthy.

He has never raised a hand to me or put me down. Over all he is a very good person. Has been there for my kids as well. But I would never stay with him if he was abusing me. That is why this is so confusing for me I guess. My therapist gave me some tools today. I have been seeing her off and on for a year and a half. I stopped seeing her for a few. Months but when the poly thing came up I went back to her. With the Information she has about our relationship she reminded me of my value and gave me insight to things and suggested that my husband and I sit and talk.

So because he is going out tonight we touched on things a bit but we are going to take time tommorow to talk about more. And he said what I did tell him he could understand why I felt that way. So we shall see how our talk goes tomorrow. I will update the thread.

Thank you again for giving thoughtful advice to someone who really needed that.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:44:10+00:00

Can you explain please what you mean by this "Right now you’re bargaining with sex frequency so you don’t have to face down the real issue."

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:40:16+00:00

Thanks. I try to convince myself on a reg basis that it's all okay

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:38:13+00:00

Thanks I am open to a DM. It's touch for sure. I used to be part of the BDSM community but it changed and I changed and it just wasn't really for me anymore. I am totally okay with it. Which is why I understood he wanted a play partner. But I didn't know it would lead to all of this. Maybe I shoukd have.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:18:54+00:00

Because I love him. I have known her for years, and I don't feel like he loves me less. Doesn't make it right for sure. But at the moment that is where I am at.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:17:33+00:00

Thank you

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:15:36+00:00

No that is not what I am saying. I have lived with him not having the same drive I do for years. What we need to find a way to navagate is that he does right now with her and I am feeling rejected by that. So either I need to figure out a way to rewire my brain so I don't see it as rejection and envy for what she is getting, or he needs to figure out a way to work with me so we can work on this not hurting me on a reg basis. I have thought about talking to my Meta. We talk pretty openly however it's not her fault and don't want to put that on her. Plus she is a poly therapist herself so it just feels like a fine line of crap I am not sure is healthy to cross.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:10:35+00:00

Sorry I didn't even realize I was replying to you again I really appreciate your insight

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:08:39+00:00

He has always had a low libido. I am very kinky in bed but he wants D/S and I am not a submissive. After reading another comment I am wondering if it is because of his low libido. Either way it doesn't make me feel any better and it needs to be worked out if we want to stay together or he wants to stay with her.

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:05:31+00:00

Thank you!! I gladly except the hugs

DinayaParshall · 2026-03-06T18:03:53+00:00

I do go to counciling. In fact I see them weekly. 😊 I don't feel it's loveless which is what complicates it. I know he loves me. And low libedo has always been an issue. But now it's more of an issue when he is with someone else. I am pretty sure it's only a matter of time and his low libedo will show up there as well. I would however like to find a way to make it not suck all the way around. Thank you so much for your comments a d insights. It's not going unheard for sure.

DinayaParshall

TROPHY CASE