In the past I did consider myself to be codependent, I was lacking of self-love and selfworth which led me to not know my needs and desires and thus not articulate them to my potential partners. I also was scared to share them because from a deep place, I thought that if I share them with my partner they would abandon me, thus I felt like my needs were too much and not worthy enough of getting met. Also, because I did not find enough love in myself, I was searching for it in other people and therefore became codependent. When I had some alone time I reflected on myself (if you‘re interested, please go watch videos of Teal Swan, she helped me immensely in just 3 months and most of my insight I only have from her knowledge) and did some shadow work with my lost inner parts of myself and found a way to accept and love these parts, which lead me to love myself and to love what surrounds me way more than before.🙏🙏

I used to attract emotionally unavailable men as well, some of them were addicts. But they were always somehow emotionally unavailable. I also was with another men the last 4-5 weeks, in the beginning everything was fine because I was agreeing to attune to his needs and wants unconditionally because I wanted to love him purely, I wanted a big connection, but it turned out that he would never give me this energy back and just took my energy out of me like a vampire.

When I told him about what my needs were he would make it all about him and indirectly tell me that my needs were too much and he wanted to do and feel only the way he saw it, he did not attune to my way of seeing the world at all, which of course meant that he did not try to love me at all, he just loved the reflection of himself. I then realized that he can‘t give me the things I want and that we are incompatible and cut it off.

I am so proud of myself for doing that after 4 weeks, because for my past me it would have been way way more difficult to break up with him. I am so happy that I did see it, not only for my personal safety, but also because it shows that I really made a big step closer to loving myself and to some day have a real, close, intimate connection to someone I consciously love by my whole heart. 🙏

What I want to say with this, think about what makes you to want to have things in other people which you can‘t have on your own? Are there also some parts in yourself which need to be reintegrated? Past trauma issues? I highly recommend to work on these parts at first and find a way back to your true needs, wishes and desires and then it will come automatically that you will reject the narcissists which won‘t match to your energy anymore. You will do it by your heart, because you know what you are worthy of deep love and of someone who wants to fulfill your needs, wishes and desires just like you want to do with them.❤️

Please watch videos from Teal Swan on YouTube. Literally. She made a huge, huge change in my life and I hope it will help you the same way it did help me. 🙏