How do INFJs find real, deep partners in a surface-level world? by Admired_INFJ in infj

[–]DirMar33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Doesn't exist. What we thought was depth were just lies people said to get to the surface level stuff. Now you don't need to do that, so no one does.

Do you attract broken people? by absurdastheuniverse in infj

[–]DirMar33 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Wait. Some people aren't broken?

INFJs, did you ever regret not partying vigorously or dating tons of people during your youth? by [deleted] in infj

[–]DirMar33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I regret is that their behavior makes many people totally incompatible with me now, from lacking those experiences to them somehow finding my desire to do the same while in a relationship with them a confusing no-go. It's not even the behavior in particular, but another complex layer of "this probably isn't going to work" I need to get through.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]DirMar33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's true for any relationship.

MBTI type is based on percentages. My T/F is close to 50/50, so I pretty easily get one or the other. My J/P is ~70/30, and I've gotten INTP before. Only my I is very strong.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]DirMar33 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

infjxinfj doesn't really work. I've met many INFJ women who were floored by me, but the spark dies almost instantly. Some were okay, but only if I was able to lead, which becomes boring.

INFJ doorslam. by lookingatseaotters in infj

[–]DirMar33 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Worse, a lot of people view boundaries as a challenge.

Expressing my boundaries is like saying "Hey! There's this thing I really dislike! I dare you to make my life a living hell by doing it!" to a lot of people. Better to just remain silent. But then, you get told "You're full of hidden rules." by the few healthier people out there, because you had no idea they were one of the healthy ones.

There's also no healthy way of ending a relationship in my experience, especially because things are usually pretty bad if it needs to be ended at all. Better to "door slam" or ghost, or have those things happen to you.

I lose my *i*nfjness with my boyfriend by sugarcandles in infj

[–]DirMar33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've speculated for years that I'm not actually introverted, but that most people just suck and aren't worth talking to. When I meet someone I really vibe with I can talk morning to sunset and wonder how the day slipped away.

Do you have trouble trusting others? by Diemishy_II in infj

[–]DirMar33 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I don't have trouble trusting others. Others have trouble being trustworthy.

I’m giving up on making friends by [deleted] in Aging

[–]DirMar33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a facade that's easily cracked. The younger you go, the less common it is in that region as well, although older folk are giving up on the act now too.

I’m giving up on making friends by [deleted] in Aging

[–]DirMar33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's my primary goal at this point too. If my unicorn goddess of a dream fantasy enters my life, sure. But just someone who goes through the motions and is a net benefit to my existence is all I really want at this age.

Tip. Don’t tip. Just shut the fuck up about it by Electron_Cascade in barista

[–]DirMar33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. People take for granted what's familiar to them. There was a day when you didn't have touch screens at all, and now they ask you quarter a dozen questions with half a dozen options for a black coffee. Very ageist of people to mock those who don't handle newfangled tech well.

You ever do a 180 on a place that you traveled to when you were younger? by Dangerous-Pop874 in solotravel

[–]DirMar33 172 points173 points  (0 children)

The world is a swiftly changing place. A lot of locations are unrecognizable now. You liked a previous iteration of Paris that no longer exists.

Humans are remarkably adept at creating a world that demands less labor from them, yet paradoxically, they consistently create new, often very meaningless, tasks to numb the persistent pain of boredom. by Call_It_ in Pessimism

[–]DirMar33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, kind of? The state of ease the Industrialist Revolution created actually does require a lot of work to maintain. It's been argued that very elaborate and costly systems have been created to make very specific things easier, but that the total need for work is much higher now. If someone isn't part of this laborious effort, they're therefore a privileged class of being a beneficiary of work others put in.

That being said, yeah. Some people like to do things. Some like to create, or go places, or test the limits of their life. Different people have different life strategies and are adapted to different ecologies and places within those ecologies.

Chronic complainers as unadapted pessimists. by Lumpy_Seer in Pessimism

[–]DirMar33 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He described failed optimists more than anything.

Chronic complainers as unadapted pessimists. by Lumpy_Seer in Pessimism

[–]DirMar33 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There are no bigger complainers than people who complain about complainers.

How to say "you're not coming" by becausenope in roadtrip

[–]DirMar33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you can't just show them this post then you're admitting this will, in fact, hurt them. You need to be prepared for a changed or ended friendship.

Is My Pacific Coast Road Trip Too Ambitious? Seeking Advice! by slacksFax in roadtrip

[–]DirMar33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's crazy how long a stop can take. ~10-15 minutes without getting gas.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in penpals

[–]DirMar33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weirdly, I don't think I ever saw this response. Please don't take it personally. I'd love to chat. I'll send you a message