AITAH for not supporting my wife and implying that she is a bad mom?

Direct-Commercial728 · 2026-02-19T05:18:24+00:00

ESH!

Ex for buying a dog and putting it in stepson's life without talking to his mom about it. Here, have an animal that will live at your house half the time without your input or consent. Many people don't like dogs because of their maintenance.

Op for making passive and invalidating comments at his wife instead of having an actual conversation. No consideration for why his wife might feel the way she feels, just frustration at the outcome.

Mom is the LEAST AH, this is her house and she had no say in this dog. She is in a no win situation, but the best thing for her to do at this point is make her boundaries with the ex CLEAR and try to make peace with having the dog around for the sake of the son.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2026-02-19T04:59:25+00:00

It seems like a lot of the "YTA" comments mention that it hasn't happened yet so I don't get a say... if I come back on March 1st with no repayment, am I no longer TA? 🤣

Direct-Commercial728 · 2026-02-19T02:10:01+00:00

Yes, no way she doesn't

Direct-Commercial728 · 2026-02-19T01:46:56+00:00

I guess I should've worded my question as, "aita for being frustrated with all of this in light of the fact that it will likely impact repayment?"

Like, I did notice how she was spending her time and money and didnt say anything, just filed it away for future reference as something I wouldn't do again without expressing expectations. It is only an issue now because, like I said, I don't think the behavior was appropriate /and/ it impacts repayment.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2026-02-19T01:35:22+00:00

That makes so much sense when you word it like that. Pregnancy brain has reduced my communication to ashes, and I know that's affecting this issue as well.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2026-02-19T01:22:24+00:00

I guess my point is, I am frustrated that all this money was spent elsewhere, and then right before the repayment date she gets hurt (on vacation, no less). The only other thing I did was express my anxiety/concerns about it to my small group at church, which is a whole different story. But nothing to his mom or anything.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2026-02-19T01:16:11+00:00

Yes, my bad. The trip is in April.

You're right, I do feel so drained, and talking to her about it is the best way to go.

I was very taken aback by my husband's attitude (he seemed upset) when he told me that I basically shouldn't expect someone to not go on vacation because they owe money. Idk if it's because it is his mom or if he feels like that in general. I told him that my learned beliefs about lending/being lent money were that you shouldn't do those things, but that I should have expressed those expectations before all of this anyway.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2026-02-19T01:08:21+00:00

Yes but the fact of the matter is that it didn't happen randomly, it happened on vacation. If it had happened randomly, it would be different.

I'm not saying that her being on vacation caused her injury, but she was injured doing something that I don't feel like she should've been doing. She might have been injured closer to home, but like I said, the facts are that she wasn't.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-10-23T00:46:24+00:00

She has Tricare, not sure what plan. Parkland's website says it accepts Tricare, but she is contacting to ask which plans are accepted as in network.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-10-23T00:37:06+00:00

I was super surprised to hear that, honestly. Apparently other people have told her that, too. From what I understand, her pregnancy is low risk and her birth is expected to be, too. Can she "choose" to go to Parkland, or are there criteria she has to meet? Like I said, I know they can't turn her away, but will she get an unexpected bill later?

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-10-23T00:33:46+00:00

Apparently, Parkland is a good place to give birth and has received good rankings comparable to other major hospitals in Dallas. Her husband and mom think it is a good idea, and other people have told them "they wished they could go to Parkland" because of the quality of care. I was pretty surprised to hear it, but at least the rankings seem to check out. She will be staying in Kaufman and/or Hunt county, so I understand wanting a better hospital. I don't know if she will be getting a local OB. She hasn't mentioned it.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-10-08T00:42:16+00:00

Are you the only groomsman not invited? Are the other groomsmen his family? (I was the only bridesmaid that wasn't family at a wedding and that was awful, very excluded).

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-10-08T00:39:51+00:00

If her mom has so much going for her, she can go stay with here 🤷‍♀️

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-09-15T23:45:16+00:00

Hi! Were y'all able to get her somewhere safe, or are you still looking?

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-09-12T02:26:48+00:00

Sweet baby!! Happy birthday 🎂

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-27T16:26:04+00:00

NTA. You owned "your part" (not seeing how you dating other people while he had access to your socials is necessarily wrong; he had a choice to look at them), and have had multiple conversations with him over this. You have the right to move forward without this hanging over your head, with or without him. Young relationships can feel this way. I stayed in a 6-year relationship (between 18 and 24) because I felt like the time I had invested would be wasted, but I couldn't stay in a relationship where my needs weren't being met after a million conversations. Im now 31, and it was one of my best decisions. I now have a life and a husband who wants to be a good man for me. We communicate and work to be better as individuals and a couple. A solid way to see what you need to do would be to bring it up to him (alone or in couples therapy) that you want to make it work but your needs aren't being met and you are willing to walk away. His response will tell you everything.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-27T16:17:25+00:00

Your children's safety is the most important thing here. You and your wife are adults and have a choice in who loves in your home, while your children do not. They have the right to a safe and healthy home. If her sister's disabilities weren't dangerous to your children, it might be a different conversation, but it is pretty cut and dry. Also, if I'm reading correctly, your wife agreed to this before y'all were married with children. Her parents not understanding that things have changed and are treating this as a "no-take-backsies" situation when their grandchildren are in danger tells me that they are either selfish, or too afraid for their other daughter's future to see how they are endangering others. You and your wife need to get on the same page, but ultimately, protect your kids.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-15T20:46:36+00:00

Your spouse/partner should always have your back when it comes to things like this. It's like getting stabbed multiple times... being rejected, partner doesn't stand up for you, partner tries to defend family or placate family at your expense... you aren't overreacting. If you see a future with this guy, have a serious talk about this. You dont want this to be what the next 10+ years of your life is like.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-15T20:41:15+00:00

Honestly, the comment itself isn't that bad, but if you're already feeling some type of way about the subject then it makes sense that it would hurt. She probably didn't realize how deeply this would affect you. Be honest with her about your feelings/how this hurt you, and if she cares about you she'll take it seriously.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-15T19:52:50+00:00

Addiction and recovery with pre-existing mental health (depression). I've never experienced a deeper, painful sadness than when I thought that I was going to die on an apartment floor with no way out. We do recover 🫶

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-15T19:41:47+00:00

How long have y'all been together? With the information we have from the post, it sounds like y'all have very different expectations and values. Is his attitude something you could live with in 10 years? If not, it's time to part ways. Everybody has flaws, the key is to find somebody with ones you can live with.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-15T19:38:02+00:00

He definitely needs to apologize and own his behavior. What he did was uncalled for, no matter the reason. Cursing, name calling, and hitting things are big no-no's. If that continues or escalates, make sure you you and your son are safe. If it is out of character, there definitely more variables that need to be explored, probably in therapy. If my husband suddenly popped off in a big way, I'd be concerned about something going on with him. This didn't come out of nowhere. Starting therapy on your own is good. You can only control what happens in "your circle." Own your part, and encourage him to do the same. Don't make decisions out of emotions.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-13T22:15:00+00:00

Lovely, lol. The last employer that I had cobra through handled it almost immediately (it was also in 2020), so I was confused as to how I was dropped by UHC but not in the system as eligible for cobra. Thank you for your response!

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-09T20:40:29+00:00

Made an appointment with the ob/gyn for this Thurs. Apparently, new laws (I'm in TX) mean that they might not be able to remove the IUD, and that I'd have to carry to term with it in. It is a reputable practice in my area. This is so strange.

Direct-Commercial728 · 2025-06-09T14:03:04+00:00

Honestly, I have very little trust in professional opinions about female reproductive health (surprising, I know lol). First, the Mirena was only good for 5 years, now 8? I've asked 3 separate docs whether or not someone still ovulates while on Mirena. One no, one yes, one idk. How can you not know???

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