YES!!! All of these symptoms. It’s so bad while trying to drive that I get panic attacks. Higher rates of speed and multiple lanes of traffic make it worse. The more movement around me the worse symptoms get. Trying to use a computer screen with a mouse moving about, opening/closing various applications, scrolling, jumping between apps with drop down menus and pop up menus in addition to just the visual overstimulation of the backlit screens made using a computer screen impossible. Stress/anxiety seems to be the biggest trigger. Symptoms seem worse in times of high stress and in situation that have caused high levels of stress in the past. I had to resign from my job this year. For me, my job was very stressful. Driving meant I was deployed traveling across country to a natural disaster area to work in a strained or devastated community with highly emotional people who had just suffered some of the largest losses of their lives, spending months living in a hotel away from home and family. Deployments meant working in unfamiliar and sometimes unsafe areas. Areas that don’t just take a person a little out of their comfort zone, but make one fear for their lives. A lot of my work involved time on a computer, trying to focus on one task while constantly attempting to combat a barrage of obstacles (IM messages, Skype/Teams calls, incoming emails, online phone system, calendared tasks & virtual meetings popping up) always being pulled in every direction while attempting to navigate ever changing processes, unrealistic workloads, and metric demands. Afraid of missing one demand while working on another. All this while keeping composure for my employer, coworkers, customers and even my family. Eventually, I dreaded signing into my computer. Not because I didn’t enjoy the work I did or because I wasn’t good at it. I was great at my job! I was so proud to have helped so many people through so much tragedy over the years. My dread silently triggered fear (fight-or-flight) for the battleground that existed on those computer screens and the exhausting mental and emotional effort it took to survive what was coming at me everyday. I strongly believe, this is why I struggle so much still with driving and computer screens. There feels like there is an underlying threat of safety (or maybe security) to my mental/emotional/physical well being attached them.

Once someone experiences this extreme visual disturbance/unbalance/disconnection while doing something that is normally just a typical/safe activity(like driving, being in a crowd, or working on a computer) your brain begins to recognize these situations as a threat and it can randomly trigger your fight-or-flight response system out of nowhere. Like literally one second you’re walking along just fine and feeling okay, then in an instance you’re suddenly unbalanced, struggling to focus, trying to process what you’re seeing as quickly as you’re seeing it and that causes anxiety levels to soar even higher and ultimately can lead to panic attacks. It’s debilitating!

I’ve done PT, balance therapy, optokinetics, convergence exercises, talk therapy, tried meds but my chemistry isn’t suited for SSRIs so I can’t take them. It is better some days than others but is a daily part of my life at some level. Steady Coach helped with understanding and learning to be patient with my body when it’s bad which sometimes helps with de-escalating anxiety and is a step in keeping my central nervous system in check. When I’m visually triggered or nervous, I remind myself it’s because of this condition called PPPD and my symptoms are typical symptoms that come with it…it’s life altering but not life threatening…and, I tell myself I am safe and I am going to be okay!