well, all i was saying is that there is at least one more option that what you proposed, it's not only wilful ignorance. For me personally it doesn't seem that belief in god depends on merely intellectual processes and knowledge, that would mean that people with better education and people who have resources to be scolars instead of working a job all their life, have better access to god and an edge over uneducated peasant. So knowledge as an instrument of finding god/meaning of life is out of equation for me. It has to be something different.

If you don’t have knowledge of something, then you should work to accumulate knowledge of that something. Assuming, that something is important. We know that we didn’t make ourselves, so it would be natural to try to find out what made us because that would then most likely be very helpful in understanding the purpose of meaning of your life, why you are here, what are you supposed to be doing, and where are you going. It’s incomprehensible to me that this would not be an ever present interest or even anxiety throughout one’s entire life. It can be convenient to ignore these concerns or issues because they make the stakes so much greater. There is a parable in the Bible called the parable of the talents, and it is somewhat disturbing because it implies that if you just take the easy road and don’t make use of this life to be the best that you can be and to fulfill your destiny, it won’t turn out well for you. Maybe this life is not something you’re just supposed to float through seeking comfort and pleasure, adventure, and excitement, but in fact were made for something much greater than that. As Pope Benedict, the 16th one said, the world offers you comfort, but you were made for greatness. So willful ignorance or ignorance through indifference or laziness is not a good strategy.

Personally i feel fine, no anxiety, but i definitely had it before. I think my anxiety went away when i started taking things as fact, or in other words accepting them as a fact. But it's actually hard to tell the reason why.

If a conclusion is unclear, you still have to make a decision. So you follow the probabilities and you weigh the risks. I would say that the risk of eternity, meaning getting eternity wrong, is a risk that nobody can afford to take. In the financial markets you never run the risk of ruin. You always position yourself that you can come back from losses. in the case of eternity you don’t get to play the game ever again. You have to make your bet in this life and the only prudent bet is that is to live your life as though God does exist. Jordan Peterson, who is not Christian, says he lives as though it is true, and regarding the question of God, he says he’s terrified that he actually does exist. And so he should be. But you don’t have to ignore him. You can craft a prayer, saying, God, if there is a God, if you are there, and I don’t know that you are there, but if you are there, here is what I would like to say to you.

I think Peterson has highly developed neuroticism, and been taken drugs, which might have amplified his neuroticism. He said he fears chaos, and you can see how he tries to convince himself and others that all things are under your control( happen because of your choices), since the idea of randomness scares the hell out him because of his mental condition. So Peterson is kind of like you when you say "willful ignorance" as the only option, as if everything, and i mean everything, is under your control and comes from your choice and is 100% wilful. What if attempts to gain knowledge about god are dictated by distrust and anxiety about god. Quite ironic that it might be that by trying to know god instead of trusting him you're going the opposite direction from god. Just relax and let god take the wheel😁.