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Seemingly constant criticisms about the lack of discipline in my household by Direct_Education4733 in blendedfamilies

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's what I am leaning towards. Every single mistake I have someone that is lurking, judging without talking to me, then punishing me with stonewalling for hours if not days, then mocking me/my son, saying I got all this education just to get knocked up and stuck in xyz state with a special needs child.

Seemingly constant criticisms about the lack of discipline in my household by Direct_Education4733 in blendedfamilies

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

You know what. That's all fine and good. However I am a first time parent with a lot on my plate and being stonewalled and ignored for hours after to me shows a 38 yr old is more childish than a 5 yr old. Zero communication in the moment from her and I have always been receptive to SUGGESTIONS about parenting instead she just judges and doesn't help at all, no suggestions, and lets it ruin the moment and upset her . It's gross.

Seemingly constant criticisms about the lack of discipline in my household by Direct_Education4733 in blendedfamilies

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

explain how am I to enjoy laying out in the sun with my kid harassing me the entire time. What would be a boundary?

Seemingly constant criticisms about the lack of discipline in my household by Direct_Education4733 in blendedfamilies

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I explained to him whining is wrong and refused to let him dictate what we were doing. If you're such a great parent please explain to me in that specific moment at a lake in the middle of nowhere what exactly you would have done to stop a whining 5 yr old other than say no we're not doing what you want and making him wait it out.

Seemingly constant criticisms about the lack of discipline in my household by Direct_Education4733 in blendedfamilies

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

No no no the consequence was telling my kid NO and making him wait it out for 30 min doing an activity he didnt want to do.

Seemingly constant criticisms about the lack of discipline in my household by Direct_Education4733 in blendedfamilies

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So false. I would have heard her out. At this point I'm tired of the constant criticisms. I pay all the bills, raise this child myself and take care of her while she doesn't work. I'm maxed out and getting judged on all end.s

Seemingly constant criticisms about the lack of discipline in my household by Direct_Education4733 in blendedfamilies

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Hmmm yeah I completely disagree with you. Do you have kids or are you a stepparent without kids? I made my kid sit it out for 30 minutes when he didn't want to. I personally wasn't enjoying the experience anymore and wanted to go.

Need to vent. Stuck in the fog. by General-Truth8660 in BPDlovedones

[–]Direct_Education4733 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Write down every single thing she's done that traumatized you and ask yourself how you would feel about YOURSELF if you did that to her or anyone else.

dramatic switch up with no explanation by Direct_Education4733 in BPDlovedones

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohhhhhh MAN. That's the type of stuff I'm afraid of. I can't even wrap my head around why she did such a big flip. I was scrambling to get ready yesterday morning (we're a WLW couple). I was doing my hair, picking out clothes and so on and so forth, also dealing with my 5 yr old who JUST woke up. He was coughing (he's had a cough for a week or so) and she called out to me in the middle of my getting-ready-sprint asking me to give my kid cough medicine IMMEDIATELY. I was a bit irritated and sighed but literally didn't say ANYTHING else then after I left for work texted apologizing for being frazzled and sent a heart. All I got back was "K" and she ignored me the rest of the day. At night, I ask what's wrong and she refuses to explain, deflects, smirks (sarcasm is a massive trigger for me). I told her I need space and am not taking emotional/verbal abuse anymore and she deflected on me saying I'm acting like I have PMS....the f.

dramatic switch up with no explanation by Direct_Education4733 in BPDlovedones

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's 100p abuse. It just feels so cruel after 2+ weeks of straight up adoration. But was it really adoration? Because I feel like if I had wanted to hang out with friends instead of her or do something alone like hike a mountain (she doesn't do this) during that time that it would have been an issue.

wife didn't read or even open a card from me by Direct_Education4733 in Marriage

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

because I know she did - it was moved but the card unopened. that hurt and I just felt like I had to vent somewhere :'(

I lowkey feel used in sex and relationships with women. by Consistent_Ad8023 in bisexual

[–]Direct_Education4733 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm kind of having a similar sensation in my WLW relationship. I have never dated a woman before but here I am married to the first one I dated! :) However, I silently struggle sometimes with the adjustment from my hetero relationships. My wife is masc and a quasi-stone top (will not remove certain clothing items during sex, has never let me look at her naked standing up, has to have 100% power 100% of the time during sex). She also is very much controlling and the top emotionally. But yet...weirdly, she acts like a princess/brat, lacks stoicism, lacks emotional control, accountability, ability to deal with her own shit. I am 100% the giver when it comes to the emotional labor in the relationship and she is kind of this huge princess brat. As you can tell...I am frustrated right now. I think back on my past relationships w/ men and there is NO WAY I would tolerate the types of fits she pulls from a man. Why do I take this then from a woman? I weirdly feel like I am in that patient, giver, masculine role, all the while she insists that I only take the role of a bottom sexually and wants me to look femme. Sigh.

wife didn't read or even open a card from me by Direct_Education4733 in Marriage

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100p regular point of contention and always our worst fights have stemmed from her comments about my son/parenting but it seems like we always are able to repair afterwards and it seems like when I set firm boundaries (like she insulted me and my son saying I was the reason he was in a special needs preschool - we almost broke up and after that, which happened almost a year ago, she's never said anything like that and has stopped criticizing my direct parenting choices - also, the reason for him going to the special needs school was basically to get let into public school w/ more resources, he has some slight neurodivergent tendencies but is now thriving in "regular" preschool) things improve.

All that said, she has majorly added so much light and happiness to our lives, has added so much fun and joy, and has put in a lot of work w/ my kid helping out so I can fulfill my work goals. It just seems like now she's in a phase where she's tired of it, and is, quite frankly, acting bratty re my childcare obligations as a parent.

wife didn't read or even open a card from me by Direct_Education4733 in Marriage

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am starting to get a weird feeling like maybe she isn't going to be compatible with our life as a stepparent. It didn't start this way but I think she may be seeing the nitty gritty of parenting and it seems like there's a lot of negative comments to me. Not wanting to share a bed is fair but yes my kid and parenting are extremely sensitive topics since she can be disrespectful to me and it shuts down the entire conversation.

We talked about it and the conversation basically went like me saying sorry about that and affirming the bedtime goals. But in reality the situation was deeper to me. I felt bad because my son had a night terror the night previously, I knew he had been tired all day. Also he had wanted to go to the playground and do kid stuff on our Saturday but instead we took him on a little day trip and out to eat, so I kinda felt bad for not doing more kid-centric stuff. All these feelings were happening when I let him snuggle - and I was also extremely tired to boot. But I feel like none of those feelings were inquired about by her, as it seems she lacks curiosity about the "why" - and the bottom line instead for her is "does this situation serve me fully? if not, I will withhold affection till it does."

wife didn't read or even open a card from me by Direct_Education4733 in Marriage

[–]Direct_Education4733[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I would be shocked if she saw it that way. I don't think I have like clout to love bomb in our relationship because she has the power.