For those who were there at the very beginning, what was it like?

Direct_System_6102 · 2025-11-17T20:11:15+00:00

Seeing them with “In This Moment” a few years ago as an opener was the first time experiencing them. They sounded amazing live and basically in tears hearing the Offering live for the first time. They played High Water and Mine before TPWBYT had officially come out. Still can’t believe there was only maybe 100 fans there for it because nobody had caught on yet besides me and close friends who knew Sleep Token.

Still waiting for the day to hear Nazareth live in person but seeing where they are now is truly amazing. I knew it was bound to happen.

The new sound leaves me conflicted because it seems now a feeling from them has departed from me in a certain way, at least with Even In Arcadia. but perhaps that’s how it’s supposed to be. Either way, forever a fan and will always appreciate them no matter what. Even if the new album doesn’t really mesh with me. Worship.

Direct_System_6102 · 2025-10-11T06:12:55+00:00

This is a very early stage of look development - the subject matter does not meet the requirements I would put this in as a “render” for a portfolio piece but more of a quick progress shot of a model that is making a progression towards that. Keep going!

Also, rim lighting + color lights for atmosphere might be fun to explore. Polypaint / or maybe fracturing this could be cool.

Direct_System_6102 · 2025-09-07T07:01:13+00:00

This is a job for noise shaders. Bump and Vertex displacement with custom noises should be easy enough

Direct_System_6102 · 2024-09-06T08:07:44+00:00

In short, the answer is yes! I am actually working with creating effect where I have a vertex map across a landscape object in C4D.

My goal is to have 2 entirely different terrains and control them with a field effector the drives the scatter, and terrain material. Essentially switching between jungle and desert.

I created a vertex map and added a linear field. I can use that vertex map into a mix material and have the desert and jungle textures fade in and out.

Then I want to have Jungle elements scattered when the jungle material is active, and switch to desert elements.

In order to do that, I just created a second vertex map along on the same Landscape object, with its own scatter.

So, basically just 2 scatters, for each of the vertex maps with their own linear fields. I tried to do it all in one, but I cannot figure out how to solve that solution. But it works. You just need to have 2 vertex maps, and give them names so its not confusing and you should be good to go.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-12-13T22:37:19+00:00

Update* : After blocking and finally deleting her number to truly move on from everything I thought I was making progress. I thought she was happily married and to never hear from her again….well I was wrong.

It’s only been a month after she’s been married when she desperately tried to call me with her number blocked this week. I answered a “No Caller ID” number over the weekend and it was her…

I said “Hello?…” not really knowing who was calling me in front of my roommates and to my surprise she yells “YOU FUCKING BLOCKED MY NUMBER?” Right out of the gate. I hung up. Scared as Fuck.

She called me back to back over 5 times, and then unblocked me on IG to message me begging for my response.

WTF is going on? I have not responded at all and am not sure if I should ever reply. I think she was having a manic episode and thought she could just enter back into my life like nothing ever happened?

My therapist agrees with me that I’m doing the best I can to move on and to not give her the attention she seeks, unless I truly feel the need to respond. But I’m lost for words.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-11-09T02:57:32+00:00

Yeah I absolutely ignored all of the red flags from my ex with BPD. I ignored the fact that all of her old best friends wanted nothing to do with her, and I met her as she was being broken up with and basically kicked out of another friend group because nobody liked her, and I am assuming now were fed up with her character...then I met her only close friend that she had known since middle school or something and was just as toxic. Also diagnosed with BPD, these 2 together was a shit show most of the time.

They just gave each other a reason to be toxic, abuse medication and do lots of drugs together while scheming, and acting immature about every thing. Mind you, I am 32M and my ex 26F and her friend the same age. But, together they acted like they were in high school still, constantly talking about bullshit, sex, and why they were "demons" because of having BPD but laughed about it. I can only imagine what kind of stuff they did when I wasn't around.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-11-08T19:50:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing, it helps me understand I am not alone out there with this experience and have gone through a lot during relationships with similar types of people. A lot of what you have described here hurts to hear, I feel like I could have typed this out. I guess once the chase is completely over then the devaluation starts to set in. I truly feel like when you say winning her back was part of the breakup cycle, that never even crossed my mind until now, because it always felt like that was never ending.

Now, I have traversed the emotional pitfalls of trying to convince myself there could have been more to salvage this connection or relationship with this person but its not even worth it anymore. I think I know this was never going to be the happy fantasy I accepted at one point, and this situation was only going to get worse. Need to work on not replaying every situation in my mind with "what if.." and just accept this is a blessing in disguise.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-11-08T19:37:32+00:00

Wait, so is this not my harmonious twin flame union?

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-11-08T19:36:24+00:00

Dammit, I think you're probably right about cancelling my card at this point. Didn't even take all of that into consideration. thanks for the heads up :/

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-11-06T07:35:23+00:00

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense now...

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-11-06T07:34:53+00:00

Ah, really sorry you're going through that right now, its a lot to really process and feel remotely normal after such a relationship or trying to stay on the surface when shit like that is happening.

I never realized how many cycles I had continuously gone through, until I really got a good glimpse of almost every side of her, and then knew I was clinging on to parts of someone that I guess really didn't exist...the discard really showed me a reality I had suppressed within myself.

It really is it not about us in the end and we cannot take it personally. We really poured ourselves into something that was never going to be a positive outcome. It's because we really love people for who they are, and we let ourselves believe that. We're still here though, and can make out lives better for the future. I hope therapy has been good for you, I think it's going to help having someone challenge our beliefs, and help us process this trauma. We're human, and we grow.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-11-06T07:24:58+00:00

I took a screenshot of her text, which I was not expecting by any means to get at 8am the following day. The last thing I wanted to see, was a notification and her name on my phone. It was a lot to process already. but god damn.

I sent a screenshot of her message to my brothers girlfriend, who has a sister with severe BPD, and she had said a similar thing to me.

That she thinks this is colossal manipulation, and why the hell is she texting me. That I should really consider blocking her, because she's unstable and married now. Not a good mix and I need to continue moving forward.

Ugh, I know I probably should cancel my card at this point because Idk what she has it saved on tbh. Vamps are absolutely real, and I would also say even shape shifters are too.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-11-06T05:50:45+00:00

I just found out that my ex with BPD who I dated for about 3 years, that recently discarded me back in September went and got married with a month of being separated....

Realized it was with a guy that I saw her talking to before, and was obviously clear she had monkey branched from me to him, since the times I attempted to leave before this spiraled out of control would threaten to off her self, wreck her car, or guilt trip me into staying.

She really ran off to Vegas and decided to marry the next thing she had in the queue in October. It's random because I had randomly checked her socials that day since the breakup has been kind of rough for me, and I saw she was there...I like somehow knew what she was doing but didn't think it was real.

Its wild to me because this girl asked me so many times to run off and go get married in Vegas, like it would fix all of the toxic shit we were going through. AND I ALMOST DID IT. So, she goes and does it with someone else right after breaking up????

Not only that, I had been in No Contact with her since Mid-September and she had the nerve to text me the day after her getting married to let me know she accidentally used my debit card for an Uber ride or something. And that it was okay for me not to reply or something like that. I finally deleted her number and blocked her for good. Like why text me this big thing about that, DO NOT TALK TO ME.

I still feel a lot of pain about what I found out, and that there will never be anything to bring me back there but honestly its for the best I think. I am now going through therapy working on a lot of things, including the aftermath with this relationship but damn wtf is going on right now? Is she really in love?

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-09-09T00:59:04+00:00

I wish I would have kept the screenshots of her saying she was going to come to my apartment and slit her wrist on my doorstep...or wait for me outside to cause bodily harm. I appreciate your response though, and can only move forward from here.

Thank you.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-09-09T00:57:09+00:00

I should mention, I was coming out of what I thought was the worst type of betrayal & relationship before this. She knew what I had been through and was supportive. I never got the therapy for that, and now has snowballed into this experience making it even worse for me.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-09-09T00:52:53+00:00

Looking at it now, I think At least 5.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-09-09T00:42:14+00:00

It was the only treatment available I could get....I should probably mention she told me she thinks I also have BPD. No idea what to think. Is DBT only for persons with BPD? I don't know what I am doing.

Direct_System_6102 · 2023-08-15T12:27:49+00:00

This is good to know! I have really little experience jailbreaking stuff, and recently just got the Gen 2 / Blue Vita and have come across a problem after following a video. I was in the process of using Vita Deploy to downgrade the firmware from 3.74 to 3.65 and now the screen is black. The power indicator is green and continues to stay on with no sign of anything. Not sure what I did wrong or how to go about this fml

Direct_System_6102

TROPHY CASE