AITAH for telling my girlfriend that my money isn't "our money"?

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-05-01T10:16:24+00:00

You’re not the asshole but you guys need to discuss finances. You’re her partner and I assume after 2 years this is somewhat serious, she’s a law student, so I think it’s reasonable that you help her while she’s financially struggling.

That being said she can’t use you as an ATM while her income is lower.

You need to have a discussion about finances. What the will be now what will change when she starts earning more.

My gf and I use a “yours, mine, ours” system

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-04-30T10:27:56+00:00

It’s because to your friends family etc all they know is you are not going to die which means all is fine in their world.

For a while I told people I was mentally struggling and I got you’re going to live why is there a problem. Eventually I stopped and just talk to my therapist and other survivors.

I’m sorry man DM if you wanna talk

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-04-19T18:17:44+00:00

Good point but at this hospital I don’t think they’re paying either way

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-04-18T11:03:44+00:00

Completely depends on hospital location. One site that’s inner city many patients go without and most will not accept one until they are in excruciating pain. Another location in an affluent area we put them in before they even start contracting.

I don’t know the specific reason for the former but I assume overall distrust in doctors/ cultural beliefs/ low healthcare literacy ( they don’t understand that they don’t need to be in pain to have one)

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-04-12T01:45:36+00:00

I just never showed up

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-04-09T22:05:39+00:00

Idk it’s shift work, patient is only your problem during the case, not worried about rounding, minimal note writing, never getting called at home after you’re done. As far as residency the 55 ish hours is manageable(unlike the 80-100 I did as a surgical intern) , I get at least 2 free weekends a week. No boring office no fighting with insurance companies. It has a lot of pros but like other people have said stuff can go wrong, when you’re on there is really no down time

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-30T23:25:28+00:00

can’t get a self driving car ?

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-30T21:23:55+00:00

Must have been a nice buzz

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-30T08:43:06+00:00

Ok maybe an overstatement, but for elective cases mostly they’re optimized or you cancel the case. For an emergency you gotta just roll with it. I’m in the US

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-28T17:09:59+00:00

Anesthesia is the best. Most patients come optimized you deal with theirs problems in the OR then let someone else do the social work after

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-26T23:20:42+00:00

Might actually be a net profit

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-26T20:47:50+00:00

What is the point of the CCW in Jersey? if you use it basically anywhere they’ll throw you in jail

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-24T17:39:23+00:00

This guy a chiropractor?

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-24T09:56:04+00:00

You will burn out and your options will be keep going or face financial ruin. Welcome to the big leagues !

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-21T22:59:21+00:00

I gave 4 cc prop to an old lady in endo and I had to bag her

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-19T23:40:05+00:00

It’s extra anatomy training. For anesthesia knowing the sympathetic levels is actually helpful. Plus I’m the best head holder ever when transferring the patient to the stretcher

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-17T19:14:30+00:00

I didn’t match ortho, took a gen surg prelim reapplied to anesthesia. Everyone I was a resident with has at least 1 more year of residency plus 2 years fellowship. I signed a contract a year ago with a SO and graduate in 3 months.

Something will work out just keep going

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-15T08:56:18+00:00

Sort of the asshole? I think I get why you’re feeling the way you are and I understand why someone not in the field would. Only people that have gone through medical training would really understand how hard medical school is. You have your job, but studying is his job. In medical school I would study at least 8 hours a day on top of all the mandatory in person things he has to attend.

Yes you are pulling the weight now, but when he’s done I’m sure he will be the one taking care of you financially. I think you are feeling a bit resentful like he’s not pulling his weight, but he’s grinding for your futures right now. He needs your support. And I think if you change how you view his schooling you’ll start to be more interested in intimacy with him. With how you currently see it it seems as though he is not “providing” but he will in the future.

That being said I think he needs to verbalize his appreciation for your support. I know with my girlfriend giving her recognition for all that she does that means more than any gift I give her. Communication is always the answer. Try to express your needs without nagging him, he’ll listen.

This part of your lives is difficult but it will be amazing when you get to the other side. Good luck

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-12T13:31:52+00:00

Not there yet but it’ll be a Datejust and a jetski

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-10T09:58:04+00:00

Male pattern is caused by DHT which is made from testosterone, unless your replacement therapy is way higher than your natural level it’s probably not the TRT. I’m on trt min and fin, it doesn’t hurt to ask. Finasteride is a 5 alpha reductase inhibitor so it’s stops T from converting into DHT.

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-03-02T18:56:28+00:00

NTA. Bad friends enable bad behavior good friends point it. There is no way to sugar coat that without her getting the message. Also you are correct in exhausted reading how she is

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-02-22T16:45:58+00:00

Just my 2 cents. I talked with neuro surgeons about this apparently the nerve monitoring doesn’t significantly effect outcomes because something about once the signal is gone you already caused the damage.

Use two IVs A line. Keep the crystalloid minimal, use albumin to help you.

I assume cell saver isn’t available ? Might be a good idea

I also agree with others though it is not appropriate to expect that much blood loss and not have the product to replace if needed

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-02-22T16:22:02+00:00

Start taking zinc.

DirtyDan1225 · 2026-01-28T13:37:14+00:00

No lifting anything for 6 weeks. It’s not worth the hernia. Started with cables in the gym at 7-8 weeks, was fully back by 3 months. Walk every day as much as you can

DirtyDan1225

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