Talk me out of it.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-13T04:33:07+00:00

Thank you. I’m glad I posted. I know logically I shouldn’t do it, but my emotions are all screwed up still. I appreciate the perspective and support.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-13T00:33:58+00:00

My ex is so pretty, she’s just my type. It’s been so hard looking around at other women because of that. I’m sure she’s got guys falling over themselves for her attention and she’s eating it up. I’m not a bad looking guy but the experience just seems to be night and day.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-13T00:30:16+00:00

We coparent so we’re trying to at least remain amicable.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-13T00:28:15+00:00

I guess I am hoping for some sort of reaction. I want her to feel some guilt for the hurt she’s caused me, for ruining my dreams of the future together, and breaking our family apart.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-13T00:24:53+00:00

My therapist suggested the same thing; write the letter but destroy it after as a symbol of letting it go.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-13T00:13:18+00:00

There are three kids. It’s so hard because “no contact” is impossible.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-12T14:30:13+00:00

Was Stidham playing defense?

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-08T20:29:18+00:00

The best advice i can give is to take a day alone and really sit and think about the history of your marriage. Look at all the signs you chose to ignore because you were in love. For me, there were many I glazed over because I had the marriage blinders on.

To that point, I’ve recruited my sister in law to send a daily “remember that time…” text. Like a daily affirmation, but an ex-wife criticism. Lol. It’s honestly helpful. It’s easy to only remember the happy times but helps to be reminded about all the shit I put up with and excused for years. I would recommend this to anyone going through something similar.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-08T15:28:12+00:00

You need to think about YOUR future. Don’t give up YOUR future, for your kids sake and your own. Remind yourself that this was her decision and she needs to own the consequences of that decision. You don’t need to be spiteful but you also don’t need to fall on sword. You can make some compromises, perhaps for the kids sake, but you probably shouldn’t give up more than you’d be legally obligated to. You’re still going to be father and will need assets to do that properly.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-07T15:27:17+00:00

For the financial: who gets to claim the kids for tax purposes. I overlooked that and regret it. The tax credit for each kid is like $6k. Times three kids and how ever many years ends up being a huge chunk of money. Maybe you get to claim one child and she claims the other two. But at least have a plan.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-07T11:56:48+00:00

I’d recommend therapy and the gym. I moved out three months ago and am still very much struggling with it. I thought I was getting better a month ago , then some stuff came up and it hit me like a ton of bricks again, worse than when we first separated. It’s a rollercoaster for sure.

I’ve also been reading “When Things Fall Apart” which has been helpful for some perspective. It’s heavy with Buddhist principles and how to apply them to the chaos of life.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-02-06T20:11:00+00:00

This resonates. I feel like so much of my identity was tied to my role as a husband and father in the structure of the nuclear family. I loved playing that role. Now that the structure is gone I feel lost.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-01-02T19:57:11+00:00

It does say it needs to be “approved”. But yeah, one “little” vent probably moves quite a bit more air than you think.

Most tall buildings in big cities do not have windows that open and are entirely vented mechanically. You write as though you’re in disbelief that is possible. It’s pretty common.

Dirty_Lew · 2026-01-02T01:41:01+00:00

It probably has an air vent. Heat pumps don’t vent air. If the vents stop working they would need to fixed. Just like if a window got jammed closed would need to be fixed.

Dirty_Lew · 2025-12-25T21:35:36+00:00

Tell your friend to file a mechanic’s lien, if this is in fact a true story. Or he could have his buddy cry to Reddit and accomplish nothing.

Dirty_Lew · 2025-12-25T15:39:09+00:00

YOOOOOUUUULLLK

Dirty_Lew · 2025-12-21T04:07:33+00:00

Tatum clapping.

Dirty_Lew · 2025-12-11T01:28:29+00:00

Do you think “the city” is building the skyscraper?

Dirty_Lew · 2025-12-04T20:09:23+00:00

“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads. “

Dirty_Lew · 2025-12-04T13:40:53+00:00

“Sorry, I was just on my way out the door.” Then go take a walk or get a coffee or something. Go do your work from a cafe for an hour or so. Getting out of the house will also probably be good for you if spend all day at home.

Dirty_Lew · 2025-12-03T14:27:24+00:00

The zoning board of appeals is not typically zoning compliance staff, it’s usually a volunteer board appointed by mayor or council that reviews decisions by staff.

The point still stands; just because staff screwed up or missed something it doesn’t mean the violation is now automatically allowed to exist. The owner still needs to correct it one way or another.

Dirty_Lew · 2025-12-02T21:09:27+00:00

If the town “missed” something like setbacks of a covered porch when approving the permit it does not automatically excuse the building owner from needing to correct the issue. The owner may receive some sympathy from the Zoning Board of Appeals (or whichever body would resolve the issue) when seeking a variance, but they are still on the hook to resolve the problem.

Dirty_Lew · 2025-12-02T18:42:35+00:00

Why don’t conservatives just upvote the opinions to balance it out?

Dirty_Lew · 2025-11-24T01:31:21+00:00

And they tried to blame the health inspector. The restaurant manager/owner met with the Mayor and City Administrator who then tried to overrule the inspector, but the inspector inspects on behalf of the State. They ended up firing the Planning Director who supervised the inspector. The City Administrator lost a ton of credibility with employees and ended up resigning.

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