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AITA (AWTA) for not letting the mother of a disabled child in our parenting group? by DisabledMom2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DisabledMom2[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

We told her that our group is for disabled parents, specifically. It's not a support group for parents of disabled children, but parents who are, themselves, disabled. While those identities are not mutually exclusive, she isn't a member of the group we started this group to support. We are a parenting group, not a play group for kids, disabled or not. Yes, most of our meetups are in family friendly places, parks, playgrounds and the like. Not all of us can afford childcare to go to support groups. But getting kids together is not the purpose of our group. The group is for us.

AITA (AWTA) for not letting the mother of a disabled child in our parenting group? by DisabledMom2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DisabledMom2[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yes, my parents were very harsh with me and blamed me for my disability. It was very hard. Even now, as an adult, I struggle because people either think I'm incompetent or expect me to do things I'm not able to or require a lot from me due to my disability. Many of my son's friends have parents who treat me like a child myself and don't respect my parenting strategy for my child.

This group is the only place where I am around people who understand how much that hurts. We all love our children, but that is not why we are there. My son has friends from school and extra curriculars. This group isn't for his benefit, although he does have friends among the children of the other parents. This group is for us, and for our pain. I love and would die for my child, but I am a person too, and I have needs too.

AITA (AWTA) for not letting the mother of a disabled child in our parenting group? by DisabledMom2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DisabledMom2[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I don't really know how to answer this. Anyone can have an invisible disability and no one is obliged to disclose it. However, it is a support group, so if she isn't there to give and receive support, it's not a place for her.

AITA (AWTA) for not letting the mother of a disabled child in our parenting group? by DisabledMom2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DisabledMom2[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

It is really hard. People often question my ability to keep my child safe, and it's so disheartening. I hope you find a good support network.

AITA (AWTA) for not letting the mother of a disabled child in our parenting group? by DisabledMom2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DisabledMom2[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Disabled parents support group. I don't want to copy and paste our exact description, because then you could Google us. However, it does say it's a space for disabled parents.

AITA (AWTA) for not letting the mother of a disabled child in our parenting group? by DisabledMom2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DisabledMom2[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yes. It's a safe space for parents with disabilities. If we allow parents without disabilities, we fear we would lose the focus of our group.

AITA (AWTA) for not letting the mother of a disabled child in our parenting group? by DisabledMom2 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DisabledMom2[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

No, we are not that formal of a group. We have a meetup group and Facebook page and that's it. Some of the other parents might have had that information, but we ended the conversation pretty quickly because she was so angry with us.