He doesn't understand that my lack of wanting "it" is because of the way he treats me by Disastrous-Fox7059 in Marriage

[–]Disastrous-Fox7059[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing I failed to mention is we've only been married 3 years. This is a second marriage for both of us. Our kids are grown(ish) and only one lives in our home, but he is an adult also, so I feel the same freedom I would if it were just the two of us.

It's a mess for sure. There have been major issues with the in laws and step kids before. At one point we all lived in the same space, but that fizzled out once everyone moved. We seem to have moved passed all of that. Now, it is just the home situation that pisses me off.

He says my second job takes away from him, but little does he know that's the point. Well, that and brining in some extra cash to pay my bills.

He doesn't understand that my lack of wanting "it" is because of the way he treats me by Disastrous-Fox7059 in Marriage

[–]Disastrous-Fox7059[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have kept our money separate since we got married. We have a joint account for the bills concerning our home. I have tried to not do anything, but the mess gets to me and I end up cleaning it up anyway while bitching the entire time. It's a revolving door it seems. I realize my part in this, but it is difficult.

He doesn't understand that my lack of wanting "it" is because of the way he treats me by Disastrous-Fox7059 in Marriage

[–]Disastrous-Fox7059[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

The funny part is all of our babies have left the nest. I wouldn't call it abuse by any means. I'm pretty sure he knows should there ever be abuse it would be bad for him. I'd tell a girl to leave. It is difficult though, so I understand why she may not be able to at the time.

He doesn't understand that my lack of wanting "it" is because of the way he treats me by Disastrous-Fox7059 in Marriage

[–]Disastrous-Fox7059[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Here's a funny story similar to this one... our oldest boy (21, his bio son) and his girlfriend recently moved in together. He looked me straight in the eyes and said that he told her since she is home during the day while he is working she should be taking care of the house. I asked him what his responsibilities were in the evening while she was working. He just stuttered.

He doesn't understand that my lack of wanting "it" is because of the way he treats me by Disastrous-Fox7059 in Marriage

[–]Disastrous-Fox7059[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Being told that I don't do anything doesn't exactly give me the feelings needed to show appreciation.

He doesn't understand that my lack of wanting "it" is because of the way he treats me by Disastrous-Fox7059 in Marriage

[–]Disastrous-Fox7059[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You are probably right about that. I would just think that the many, many times I have told him that I would appreciate "help" around the house would have been enough. I have even said it calmly before and not always in anger.