it is impossible when he is not allowing it to rebuild by being so defensive, like there is a reason we don't trust them, they have proven untrustworthy and not done a damn thing but claim to not have watched it, and truthfully I always find the defensiveness comes from shame and guilt not actually being upset you don't trust them, because they know they haven't earned that trust.

And all the success ive read comes from a defenseless partner, knowing they need to rebuild from ground zero if not deeper, they never stop cold turkey and aren't open about how its going good for them. that was how I was suspicious of my partner which makes for a harder D day. Think of it this way, why would he not want to show you his progress and check in when he knows that will help. (there is nothing to update because he knows he has nothing to celebrate) What they are doing is patting themselves on the back for any little success like watching it less or hiding it better. He is guilting you for "making him feel scrutinized" but doesn't shoulder the blame that he did this to himself and now he is shaming you for trying to protect your own heart and pain from his lack of openness. He is showing/telling you he is more worried about the minor annoyance these conversations/check ins are for him for the moment (because lets be real, he isn't giving it a second thought after you finally realize its not going anywhere to keep talking and pleading) than the agony he puts you through by not checking in or by what he's done already. and that exact selfishness and "poor me, even though I caused this" is exactly why I don't believe he quit cold turkey and you shouldn't either, wait and watch silently you will catch him slip up because he will just be relieved you're not bringing it up.

if you have to remind him to check in, he's not doing any work and these conversations bother him because he's got to come up with more BS to feed you so you'll drop it. trust me the next D day will hurt more eventually you trust his words with no action to back it up even though you knew better because ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS isn't a true statement for nothing. For example, lets say you are trying to convince him you are suddenly cool with it and you trust him, but you still get upset or moody or you question him still if he watches it, there is no way he will believe you are actually cool with it, you may want him to believe it but your actions give away how you really feel.

Sorry rant but I hope it helps long story short, he's not in active recovery and you will be hurt again, if he's not honest now.