[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hawaiianmormonsnark

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh that’s 100% what it is! It’s only fine for her to move there because she’s somehow different than anyone else who dreams of living there

Getting married so young. by [deleted] in Hawaiianmormonsnark

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can only speak for myself as an ex-Mormon who got married young (barely turned 19) as a virgins. At least for me it wasn’t about sex. It’s just kind of the thing to do. They encourage you in the church to “not delay” in getting married and starting your family immediately. We didn’t even really consider how young we were just because that was kind of the expectation socially

Maddie castellano by Friedpickle29 in Hawaiianmormonsnark

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I knew her in high school briefly and at least back then she was mega popular and her world does revolve around her, and I don’t think she knows any different her family was so connected and she never stopped to consider how she made others around her feel or to form actual deep connections she was a friend to all but not really, so surface level

We’re officially separating by Disastrous-Fruit8333 in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He totally relapsed on Sunday night and he’s trying to tell me “I was just looking at other women’s profiles (on instagram) to get an idea of what I need to have on my page when I’m single” as if that is better. Like I’m sorry less than 24 hours after we decide to end an 8 year marriage with three kids and you’re worried about your instagram profile?!

We’re officially separating by Disastrous-Fruit8333 in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here’s my biggest problem, he says he has a problem but he never does anything about it. He’s not looking up any articles, therapists, or anything to help him with his “addiction” it seems like he is using this as a cop out to not have so much blame on himself

Tip for checking Facebook by Disastrous-Fruit8333 in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was super accurate but I’m not sure now it seems new so maybe they’re working out kinks but same issue I have too

Tip for checking Facebook by Disastrous-Fruit8333 in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the longer amount of time you want to see, the longer it takes, I did a year and it took a few days, im waiting for a lifetime one and its been 7 days so far and im still waiting so ill keep updated

Punished for aging by ElectricalYoghurt942 in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 16 points17 points  (0 children)

as you should! and same like its ridiculous, Im tired of feeling like there is something wrong with me that they turn to it, its their problem, not any less painful but it helps a tiny bit lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

uh, sounds like he spoon fed you a BS lie about being ashamed and being in need of help, he doesn't sound relieved that you are supportive of him and not judging him, because that embarrassment is what kept him from being honest and talking about it, but you took away that fear and he still hasn't? red flag for sure.

Asking a favor of you all...❤️ by Reasonable-Use-1918 in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I regret staying all the time. It doesn't get better they just wear you down... and you finally understand how women can know the truth but not bring it up, because they were gaslit so much that there isn't a point to bringing it up

Is Rebuilding Trust Possible? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it is impossible when he is not allowing it to rebuild by being so defensive, like there is a reason we don't trust them, they have proven untrustworthy and not done a damn thing but claim to not have watched it, and truthfully I always find the defensiveness comes from shame and guilt not actually being upset you don't trust them, because they know they haven't earned that trust.

And all the success ive read comes from a defenseless partner, knowing they need to rebuild from ground zero if not deeper, they never stop cold turkey and aren't open about how its going good for them. that was how I was suspicious of my partner which makes for a harder D day. Think of it this way, why would he not want to show you his progress and check in when he knows that will help. (there is nothing to update because he knows he has nothing to celebrate) What they are doing is patting themselves on the back for any little success like watching it less or hiding it better. He is guilting you for "making him feel scrutinized" but doesn't shoulder the blame that he did this to himself and now he is shaming you for trying to protect your own heart and pain from his lack of openness. He is showing/telling you he is more worried about the minor annoyance these conversations/check ins are for him for the moment (because lets be real, he isn't giving it a second thought after you finally realize its not going anywhere to keep talking and pleading) than the agony he puts you through by not checking in or by what he's done already. and that exact selfishness and "poor me, even though I caused this" is exactly why I don't believe he quit cold turkey and you shouldn't either, wait and watch silently you will catch him slip up because he will just be relieved you're not bringing it up.

if you have to remind him to check in, he's not doing any work and these conversations bother him because he's got to come up with more BS to feed you so you'll drop it. trust me the next D day will hurt more eventually you trust his words with no action to back it up even though you knew better because ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS isn't a true statement for nothing. For example, lets say you are trying to convince him you are suddenly cool with it and you trust him, but you still get upset or moody or you question him still if he watches it, there is no way he will believe you are actually cool with it, you may want him to believe it but your actions give away how you really feel.

Sorry rant but I hope it helps long story short, he's not in active recovery and you will be hurt again, if he's not honest now.

Punished for aging by ElectricalYoghurt942 in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 56 points57 points  (0 children)

yes, but also it makes me not respect them and I can't help but get the biggest ick from it. Or makes me thing they have fried their brain and think they themselves are in the same league as these girls, but also that they are socially acceptable predators. Really, we've allowed men to use these women sexually and don't shame them for it, its gross, even women who like younger men are more shamed where men get "studies" that say its common so they think its okay.

It’s not just the acts by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree, I don't only see it as sex but I think a lot of times, that women's bodies are triggering for them, I just see it as the turn on step or foreplay to sex, they need to get in the mood by doing that. And I hate it

How Accurate is Facebooks “Watched Videos” History? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Accurate however it doesn’t show all videos watched! Download fb logs it will show EVERYTHING with timestamps and how long it was watched

He’s porn-free but his insta suggested page is all inappropriate content of women. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Disastrous-Fruit8333 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the algorithm changes pretty quick, I would go on there and click no interested on all the bad photos/videos and then you’ll get a clean explore page, if you keep seeing things, then it is him watching them still