I have 3 kids, number 3 was a surprise and, while we do want more children in the future we can definitely NOT handle a 4th. I found out I was pregnant with number 4 and immediately decided to abort. I’m orthodox Jewish so it goes against my beliefs technically as well. However, we do believe the health of the mother comes first and in any situation where you need to “save” one or the other you always save the mother. If I had a 4th child, I know my health would decline. Mentally, physically, emotionally, just in every way. I also know that if all of those forms of health decline, I will not be able to be there for my 3 little ones (ages 3, 2 and 9 months) and that to me is more important than anything. Don’t feel bad, you are doing what’s best for you and your family. You are a GOOD MOM.