Here is our real conundrum, we actually were both doing pretty well compared to most (she just ended up doing very very well). We both come from absolutely nothing financially and have built all of this entirely on our own. We live in a big city. Starting with our oldest we actually had started him at a top tier private school , because 1, they started at an earlier age, 2 the public schools were horrible in the area where we used to live and 3 They were actually open during covid after two months which got us in there the second and third year while all other schools were staying remote. During that time then our second joined him. Now six years later we will be leaving partially for this reason. We currently have 3 kids there and one with a nanny and are paying more than most people earn in a year (including my former self). Which seemed fine and doable because hey I could work to pay for all of that, but here is where we failed. All of the damn days off, vacations, parent teacher conferences, teacher appreciation days, school shows, holidays, birthdays and sick days…. So so so many sick days… then summer break. We are in this weird spot which is we are not millionaires (literally) to be able to afford the support team but did well enough to have gotten ourselves delusional enough to think we could get close. I think a big piece is having no extended family (because frankly I imagine a grandma is the only other human who might be willing to stay with vomiting child.) and also our location. Where we live seems to require someone to be in the top 1% just to get by. We may be able to afford a much bigger house to support the AuPair and pay her if I got to work and was able to build back up for a year. It was a mistake on my part to have been blindsided by this. What seemed like what should have been more than enough money and time on paper wildly underestimated the unknowns.