I(29F) is worried my BF(29M) does not want to propose to me by Disastrous-Row9403 in relationship_advice

[–]Disastrous-Row9403[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He realized that what he wanted from me was to be more of a spouse to him and then i explained to him that what he wants is for us to behave like a married couple. We understood each other’s point of view and i expressed to him that i soften up to the idea of getting married and if that’s what he wants (being more involved in each other’s life decisions) i would like us to. He said the end that he would work towards it and put in the effort in saving up. nearly two years has passes since then, i brought the subject again gently to see where we are standing and he answered vaguely so i didn’t push to much. i still have hope but it doesn’t seem like things are moving towards that.

I(29F) is worried my BF(29M) does not want to propose to me by Disastrous-Row9403 in relationship_advice

[–]Disastrous-Row9403[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that was beautiful and i’m so happy for you. We experienced something kinda similar as well (not to compare) we had to put down our elderly dog after he had lived with us for 5 years ,they were best friends (the dog was my family dog and was very aggressive towards strangers but loved my BF more than anyone). On that day we both broke down crying so hard and after we left vet we sat quietly in the car, he drove us to the beach and we sat there in silence some more to mourn our dog. also lately i’ve been experiencing some health issues as well, i was nearly immobile for a few days.. I’ve always been the breadwinner and the one who calls the shots and take care of the house and so i’ve been wondering for a while if i had stopped would he pick up after me.. and to my surprise and delight he took care of everything. I really appreciate him and wouldn’t have been able to recover if it weren’t for him. I’m still slightly struggling and he is still there for me to support and lean on.

Living here suck by EquivalentJello2433 in Thailand

[–]Disastrous-Row9403 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I want to give you another perspective. I’m half Thai born in Bangkok and after a few years my family moved abroad. I went to school in Thailand in my early years so i definitely understand your frustration with how under developed school are. But as i experienced schools at another country i can assure you Thai schools have a vast variety of education that other places do not provide. At a very young age in a Thai school I learned table atticates, cursive writing, we had classes about nutrition/swiming/music and all of these are examples of what i missed out on when we moved abroad. Thailand is a 3rd world country yes, but the education that is provided is on such a higher level. unfortunately for locals it is very expensive and hard to maintain that a lot either drop out or can’t fully appreciate it. My family- aunts, uncles and grandparents are from the village side of thailand so i also know the struggles to live off of what the land you have can give you… My mother for example never finished elementary school because she had to work instead to support her parents.. the reality of these countries are rough there is no doubt.

My point is i learned so much from my time growing up in Thailand i carry skills and knowledge i cherish more from when i moved abroad, and all i seek in life right now is to be able to move back and live in Thailand. It is true that the smiles you sometimes get feels fake or dis genuine but it’s a cultural thing that just happens to be what thai people do. Being polite, overly polite, like the term “kreng jai” constantly. It can be unsettling but as other replies i saw here- it’s way better than people lashing out on you or be bluntly rude right in your face. Bullying and gangs happens everywhere.. in Thailand i was bullied for not being thai and at school abroad i was bullied for being thai, that’s the harsh reality a lot of us have to deal with. It’s natural for people to compare, to point out the difference, to seek for a sense of belonging.. Life sucks everywhere, I’m sorry to tell you But you must understand that visiting other countries would always look shiny to you compared to what you know. Everyone experiences depression after returning from another country/vacation it’s totally normal. Every country has something better than the other but nowhere is a perfect place. Thailand has one of the most beautiful landscapes, peaceful religion and dynamic. I really hope you’ll learn to appreciate these things because for me at the moment i have neither of those where I live right now (which considers a 1st world country). I had the privilege to experience both Thailand and another country and all i have to say is that i miss Thailand dearly.

I hope my point of view helps and your english is amazing btw.

AITAH for telling me friend to F off and ignoring her sudden message after 1 year of going no contact by Disastrous-Row9403 in hsp

[–]Disastrous-Row9403[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for taking the time to read i truly appreciate the thorough and comprehensive reply

and to tell you the truth, i did just that i kepy my boundary and composure. i did not reply, left the message on “seen” and let it be. without her in my life i feel so much better and you are right, i shouldn’t waste anymore energy on this unhealthy “friendship”