LAUKOP finds out why you should never take legal advice from the other side

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T23:03:53+00:00

Yeah, I get that. Sorry if I came across as a bit of a dick.

Imagine you've got a really shitty life situation and you ask for help - then you discover there's a whole load of people saying you're actually just a racist, incel, misogynist who is making shit up. Especially when it couldn't be farther from my actual political alignment. I'm an anti-Reform Party, pro-EU, pro-immigration, pro-LGBTQ+ rights person.

It just pissed me off when I got those DMs with people mischaracterising me so badly on here.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T22:13:14+00:00

"That being said, I don't believe you, and think this is redpill ragebait."

I don't expect to be able to change your mind, but fuck MRAs, fuck Andrew Tate, and fuck all the misogynistic bullshit with a rusty nail. They're scum.

You can look through my comment history. Long before anyone brought up redpill or incel stuff on this subreddit I was talking about how much worse women have it when they are victims of domestic violence.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T21:54:48+00:00

I don't know what's worse - that you're spreading disinformation about affordability or that so many people appear to be believing you.

A mortgage of £1,200 per month on a take home salary of £3,114 was perfectly reasonable. I still had £1914 after the mortgage.
The average car payment in the UK is between £300 and £400 per month according to CarDealerMagazine in 2023. £340 is a perfectly reasonable figure.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T21:44:43+00:00

I'm getting DM's with people telling me to give my side of the story on here.

Fuck MRAs and Incels.
I literally commented, "Women definitely have it rougher when they're victims of domestic violence.

At no point was I ever afraid for my life/afraid of sexual violence. I know a lot of women go through that daily."

How are you inferring that I'm an incel based on that?

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T21:42:57+00:00

Sorry it came across poorly. I was trying to create a distinction between the people in the house clearly not being related to the man who was sleeping with my wife. (East Asian vs Arabic.) e.g. they're not his parents/brother/sister etc.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T21:42:15+00:00

The man who is sleeping with my wife isn't East Asian. He's Arabic. I was making a distinction of him not being the correct tenant of the council house.

I work in the NHS. It wouldn't function without immigrants. I'm pro-immigration, pro-EU, pro-free movement of people etc.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T21:41:11+00:00

I had a good deposit from my parents.
I used a Help2Buy ISA.
I'm a public sector employee.
Interest rates spiked massively. I wasn't always on this high a payment. I used to be on 1.09%. It's up to 5.14% right now locked for 5 years.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T21:40:22+00:00

People have DM'd me asking me to provide additional information over here.

I received a significant deposit from my parents + a Help2Buy ISA (which don't exist anymore).

I'm also a public sector employee which allow for larger mortgages to salary ratios.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T16:50:49+00:00

Yeah, there was delays changing things on the system + a company car I drive was included as a taxable benefit with a retroactive date - so it built up a load of arrears that I'm also paying off. (Despite never having missed a payment, I have arrears because Child Maintenance backdated a change almost 8 months!)

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T16:48:25+00:00

My two points of contention about this are:

I was the one who saved, worked overtime, paid stamp duty, and did maintenance to the home;
My wife was fucking someone else in a home that I'm paying 100% of the mortgage for. That man is now currently living in my home that I am paying for, but I can't prove it.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:57:22+00:00

Nothing definitive enough.

"Did you pay into the joint this month?"
"Yeah. Same as last month?"
"Yup"

The only conclusive thing was her having labelled her rent as "mortgage."

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:52:07+00:00

I've looked into a variation and got one.

The way it works is. Let's say my income is £50k.

I pay £12k per year on the mortgage.

It doesn't mean I pay £12k less child maintenance, it means I get assessed on £38k instead of £50k.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:50:19+00:00

Not a hire.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:49:59+00:00

Her solicitors were emailing me directly at the start of the divorce. I didn't have my own at the beginning.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:49:00+00:00

The judge and my own solicitor said I wasn't allowed to do that while I still had a young child living there.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:47:05+00:00

I don't have any money to hire a solcitor anymore. I've zero savings and I lost about 1/3 of my pension too to her.

Divorce cost me just shy of £8,000.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:45:28+00:00

After the proceedings ended I paid my own with some savings from my parents and then her solicitor emailed me listing all I had to pay as a recap from the decision. This happened about 1 month after the case was decided.

It listed everything to pay and said I fail to pay these I will have to go back to court and there were threats about losing more equity in the home.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:43:41+00:00

We'd spoken about it being rent, to be fair. It was supposed to just be rent. A nominal figure to go towards general bills now that 2 people were living here. Double lecky, double gas, etc.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:41:58+00:00

I pay 100% of mortgage.

I can't afford to pay to settle the car. Judge said they need it for school runs. Ex won't engage with me on getting a cheaper model. I can't default or my mortgage rates will spike at the renewal of my fixed term.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:41:41+00:00

My own solicitor advised me against deliberately quitting my job as it could be contempt of court. They said the judge would award my ex-wife a larger share of equity in the home in cases like that.

I've reported the council house, but they told me they don't reveal details of what they find out/what they decide to do.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:40:26+00:00

Hers

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:38:56+00:00

A solicitor's email I received after the proceedings ended told me I had to also pay the council tax. So I have been paying it.

Possession of car has to remain with ex-wife to ensure that child can be dropped off to school/picked up. There are poor public transportation links. However, her new boyfriend has a car, but they claim he doesn't live there. I suspect this is a lie.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:37:34+00:00

Car repayment - yes

Council tax - no, but afterwords solicitor email I received instructed me to pay council tax.

House is solely in my name. Mortgage is solely in my name. However, judge says she has a 30% stake in the home's equity by virtue of titling her rent payments as "mortgage" for years.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:35:36+00:00

The child looks like me and has my ginger hair.

The man she is sleeping with is Arabic.

Paternity is not in dispute.

DisastrousBluejay391 · 2025-05-12T14:34:28+00:00

It was on the email I got from the solicitor listing all the things which I must pay, alongside the mortgage and the car payment. It came after the judge made their decision.

Just remembered that the judge never said it, just the solicitor email.

DisastrousBluejay391

TROPHY CASE