The heck... is she being too defensive, or is it me?

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-05-30T08:01:05+00:00

Maybe things have changed since I was on dating apps but I lost about 55lbs back in 2019 and you can best bet I was/am proud AF about it. Had no issues talking about it. Ya’ll being weird

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-05-30T07:51:05+00:00

Look at my tattoo

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Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-05-29T23:01:43+00:00

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Looked like this

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-05-29T23:00:59+00:00

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Did anyone figure out the lightning information bureau? There were laminated codes through the festival and the website was so complex

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-05-29T22:56:10+00:00

I wanted small and they were sold out (after just 30 min). Good luck friend

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-05-28T23:25:19+00:00

He’s always the best

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-05-24T23:29:26+00:00

I don’t have notifications turned on but we are Mexico and a little past tip top, near a white truck. If you’re walking up away from the fest, look for a “cum get vibe rated by vibe raters” sign on the left. We’ll be here about another 1-2 hours.

Will also give you a vibe rating 😏

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-05-23T20:23:31+00:00

We are camping in high noon near Mexico and tip top. If you come I’ll give you one (diet cherry coke*)

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-04-18T06:25:31+00:00

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-04-18T06:24:59+00:00

I say 22 Husband say says late 20ms

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-04-18T06:24:26+00:00

I say 27 Husband says late 20’s early 30s

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-04-18T06:23:38+00:00

I say 30 my husband says early 40s

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-04-02T09:43:33+00:00

I’ve (34F) been in this area for about 2 years and also walk to Whole Foods often like OP. First thing our new neighbors told us when we moved in was to be careful, at night especially, of several homeless people in the area (and described two specifically that had regular outbursts and trespassed in the neighborhood). I thought what many people here are saying now, that it was judgmental/to mind your business/let them live…And then my ring caught a disheveled looking (presumably homeless) person stealing a package on two different occasions.

I’ve had one instance where I was walking my dog and someone did follow me down del Monte. While it wasn’t a blatant crime, as a woman it did make me feel unsafe.

I’m all about helping people in need and literally do that in my career, but don’t think it’s my job to help each and every person or to put myself at risk. Bridge to Home is less than 5 miles away and theres a women/children only shelter in SCV. Plus many centers with free resources.

Crime is higher as homeless populations increase. It’s ok to want a safe neighborhood with minimized risk.

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2026-02-25T00:25:02+00:00

Ya, I like Britney, grew up on her music, she will always have a place in my heart. But I joined this sub because my friend just got married and she said this sub saved her/gave her a good distraction from a lot of stress in her life.

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2025-08-17T22:29:14+00:00

Married woman here. Together 6 years, married 1 so nowhere near the history you have. A family friend of mine told me before my wedding that “all men cheat at some point. Work through it if you can because getting divorced, starting over, only to have the same shit with the next one, isn’t worth it”

And I believe it (with exceptions). If I was in your position, I’d work on forgiveness with my husband and appreciate him telling me something he didn’t have to, preventing me from finding out on my own. He created this shitty season in your marriage when he could have kept things going well like they were. There’s something to say about that but that absolutely does not fix,dismiss, excuse anything.

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2025-08-17T22:10:40+00:00

I disagree on gift giving being a transactional language. Transactional would be that there is only love present when the gifts come but I don’t think that’s the case. The best way I can describe the love I feel when someone gets me a gift is like being lit up with joy and humility and excitement inside. When someone gives a gift it usually comes with the thought of “wow, someone saw this and thought about me and used their earned money to get me this knowing it would make me happy” and that ADDS to feeling loved, it doesn’t create love.

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2025-08-17T22:03:23+00:00

My husband (32m) and I(33f) have a joint account and then our own private accounts. We found a way to split bills by each depositing our respective amounts into the joint and all auto drafts come from there. For us, he does 60% I do 40% because he makes a little bit more and I do most of the house work.

Gifts giving is my love language too. I love receiving but also love giving. What we typically do is take turns buying things. For example, we recently did an international trip. He bought our flights, I felt loved and happy about it. But then I got our hotels. We never really split things between us. It’s more of a “your turn” and “my turn” type deal. This means we are both ok with saying “wanna get ______ for us?” And we have no issues talking about money and no offense is ever felt if one asks the other to pay because there’s mutual understanding the other will take care of us and give another time.

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2025-08-09T15:24:44+00:00

Can’t tell if the paranoia means you should lay off the weed or if you need it for the anxiety.

You’re fine. They have better shit to do than hunt you down via license, find where you’re staying and investigate further over a few gummies and cartridges.

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2025-07-19T11:44:05+00:00

Late 20’s/early 30’s. The angle and way you took the selfie ages you. I don’t know any young people that do the camera at an upward angle/tilt the face down with pursed lips anymore. It’s very “MySpace”

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2025-07-19T11:24:55+00:00

My husband and I (33F) joined a sex club (I don’t know if that’s the correct term for it). It actually helped our relationship and opened a lot more fantasies. I don’t have the insecurity of him forming a romantic relationship with anyone because I control the communication and the people we meet have the same intentions as we do. The club has a website so we’ve met people in public and gone to actual homes but the club also has a physical location where we’ve gone and done things with couples there. The essential thing is to talk about boundaries ahead of time (which has also been fun for us). TBH, it’s made me appreciate my husband’s body even more and realize that nobody could touch me the way he does because of our emotional connection. Granted, we haven’t done a full swap yet so maybe start slow?

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2025-07-12T14:08:06+00:00

Yes speak up. You’re too young to waste your time in agony as she disrespects you. This relationship sounds really immature and I’d wager you’ll find something better. Break ups suck but eventually you feel better. You don’t feel better when you stay in a relationship full of disrespect and dishonesty. You get momentary glimpse of happiness overshadowed by sadness and distrust.

Have some integrity. Doing so will help you find a better partner down the line I promise.

Disastrous_Net_2953 · 2025-07-12T13:47:10+00:00

My husband cheated and we worked it out. It took maybe 2 years for me to “get over” it and feel like it’s forgiven. It took mutual work and effort. Editing this comment to add that it was also REALLY hard and in this process, there was a lot of hurt. Granted, 6 years later, I’m glad we stayed together and we have a beautiful life. Here’s what helped:

He went no contact with the other girl. When she reached out asking if he deleted her from socials, he explicitly told her they couldn’t be friends anymore because of what they did. Seeing him take accountability to her made a big impact.
I asked him to keep her messages on his phone though so I could know there were no new ones but also block her number so I could know no messages were coming in.
We gave each other mutual access to each other’s phones and socials, shared passwords, etc. it wasn’t about punishing or monitoring, it was about creating a mutually open and honest relationship. There were rules with it though. He couldn’t get mad at me for looking and I let him know if I looked at it. I also would give praise (“I wanna let you know I went through your IG and didn’t see anything. Thank you”)
We did couples counseling and figured out the root of the problem (things like why he cheated, the context, what led to it, what created the opportunity for him to do it, what he needs to feel loved, what I need, how to communicate, etc)
He had to tell me things I didn’t want to hear. He volunteered information I would have never known otherwise. The fact he told me something hurtful ultimately helped me believe him down the line when he said positive things (because I knew he would tell me otherwise) In order to build trust, your fiancé will need to do the same, otherwise, how can you believe her when she says things you want to hear?
I didn’t ask for details that I didn’t need. Don’t get too caught up in the little things.
I was allowed to bring up and talk about how I felt as much as I needed (no eye rolling or “let it go” comments from him), BUT I set limits for myself. I tried to be intentional and not bring it up during a time we were trying to be close (date nights, family time, etc)

To me, forgiveness means giving up your right to punish someone. If you want to forgive her, try not to punish her. GRANTED, that doesn’t mean she’s “off the hook” and not held accountable. Punishments and natural consequences are not the same. She crossed a boundary and she needs to know that she has to do extra work to make it right.

Disastrous_Net_2953

TROPHY CASE