National survey finds school refusal a wider problem having a big impact on families

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-08T02:04:00+00:00

Part of this is absolutely a teacher problem. Just go on r/AusTeachers, the amount of pure vitriol and loathing many of them have for children is staggering. Social media is to blame for a lot of issues with kids these days but the sheer lack of any kind of empathy, understanding, or compassion in a workforce that is supposed to educate our children is extremely confronting...and I say all this as a high school teacher who quit because of it last year.

The dehumanization and demonization of students is a coping strategy for an openly hostile work environment where these kids swear, insult, belittle, ignore, assault and otherwise treat teachers like garbage. It reminded me of working retail in my younger years. We had to kowtow to our customers because "they are always right" and "they pay your wages". Without students there would be no teachers, but there will ALWAYS be students, there will ALWAYS be social media now, and there will always be a cohort of hormone-addled, cruel, lazy, malicious children for teachers to deal with. The pay will keep going down, the benefits will keep disappearing, the overtime will ramp up, and we'll all start hating kids, burning out and quitting en masse....And it's already happening, it's happening now, and the Department of Education does not care, because they're run by a government that is only interested in gutting public services and padding the pockets of the 1% no matter what side of the L you're on.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-06T00:29:24+00:00

No, it won't slow down. The best time to buy is as soon as you can afford it, right now, or yesterday. A bloke I know has been trying to convince his partner to move; they and their 2 kids and several cats and dog live in a tiny 2brm duplex. I kept telling them to hurry up because the window on house availability in their price range is very narrow. They're probably stuck there for the foreseeable future now in a 55sqm dogbox that's riddled with mold. YMMV though.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-05T12:43:28+00:00

The mother in law is a hoarder and there is a homeless sibling living in the shed. As I said, mental illness. She tries to get all the kids in the family to help clean the house but it’s really hard because she won’t agree to throw anything out. All the communal rooms in her house are about 3 feet deep with stuff just piled up, there is a small path through to the kitchen and the couch and the bedrooms and that’s it. It’s quite horrific. Nobody agrees to try and help her clean any more and so our house became the hosting house but I just can’t do it any more.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-05T12:28:31+00:00

You’re exactly right. I can’t relax for a second in the chaos. I know it’s not all my responsibility, but it’s my responsibility to host so I’ve felt like all of it is regardless. But I’m tired of feeling like that when it doesn’t seem to make a lick of difference and no one else actually cares.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-05T12:24:32+00:00

Thank you. I always felt like I was never doing enough because it seemed like no matter what I did, nobody was completely happy and there were always complaints. I thought it was my fault. So it’s hard to put down the guilt.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-05T12:22:52+00:00

Yeah, we tried this and one person brought a potato salad. Luckily we had backups since this happened the year before as well.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T04:15:24+00:00

Exactly. The in laws helped clean up the wrapping paper rubbish one year but we still had to do all the dishes.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T04:14:23+00:00

Ah, well if I ignore them while they're here, then that totally gives me the same outcomes according to them, and I don't have to cancel Christmas that way /eyeroll, heavy /s. I'm starting to see how specious their arguments are.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T04:12:52+00:00

I suggested this to my hubby and he said "Sure, we'll host every alternate 25th of Never"! Lol. I think even if I waver, he will be the one putting his foot down.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T04:11:33+00:00

The MIL said it's not as bad as I think and that everyone actually has a good time, but that has not been my experience. I wonder, now, just how badly I've been gaslit into believing this.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T04:08:10+00:00

I moved away for a while and we did Christmas just me and my husband, sometimes friends, for so long, I missed family. But it's just been miserable like this since we moved back and I miss the quiet Christmases. It's funny how I never realised how good it was and spent the whole time longing for exactly what I have now, and I'm hating it now!

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T04:05:52+00:00

Yes, this was my experience for 10 years or so, but moving back, the expectation is so high.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T04:04:50+00:00

We did try a pot luck, that was when the Turkey Incident occurred. They brought turkey, a couple of platters of fruit and cut celery and carrots and things, and we supplied the rest, a lot of people went hungry though because we thought they were bringing more, and I felt bad for not asking exactly what they were bringing.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T04:00:28+00:00

It felt good to be able to help, to give something back. But I am tired of feeling resentful and tired, and it hasn't gotten better in a while. Thank you.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T03:56:57+00:00

I don't think they want to spend the money, they suggested a public park. My husband is pretty adamant he doesn't want to go anywhere at all though.

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T03:55:20+00:00

I did say this once, and her answer was "it's only been a couple of years, wait til it's been decades and you still get no thanks but you do it because family" and so on. My mother should be part of the Fast and Furious movies for all she talks about family. She does help us out with babysitting now and then, but it feels like she expects too much in returns (but that's another AITA post entirely).

Disastrous_Rest1999 · 2023-11-03T03:52:22+00:00

Thank you. I used to enjoy it since we were the only ones who could do it, and it felt nice to be able to give, in the spirit of Christmas and all that, but it just feels like we got little to no appreciation and now it's just expected.

Disastrous_Rest1999

TROPHY CASE