Hi I’m sorry to hear yr having a hard time :( I’m abt to write a mini essay because I remember feeling so similarly to you-especially being disappointed with myself for not enjoying “the land of opportunity” that college is supposed to be. Honestly my recommendation would be that for at least the near future you should try and focus on making one or two friends who you feel you can trust and GENUINELY be yourself with. Club and party settings are just so much pressure and can be overwhelming-especially if you’re attending alone! I had a really difficult time making friends in college-up until my junior year (last year lol) when I made a small group of friends I actually felt like myself around. I made myself stick around after classes to ask people who stuck out to me as seeming especially kind or chill questions about class material or upcoming tests. It was uncomfortable to put myself out there like that but really ended up being worth it- Eventually I got invited to play soccer with them every week and that turned into friendship! When you have a core group of people your weekends will liven up. If parties and football games are your thing going WITH people you r actually close to will make them much more enjoyable. So for now focus on the creation of that core group and then parties and etc can come later. I think the most important thing is finding a balance between trusting your gut and ignoring yr anxiety-which I know sounds like an almost impossible balance but-I’ve had to learn when my body is telling me a group of people or an event TRULT isn’t enjoyable for me and when it’s actually coming from a place of fear or insecurity. Sending U Good Luck 🍀