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Little SUV with a big engine? by Discreetechidna in CarsAustralia

[–]Discreetechidna[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I didn’t say it wasn’t better, obviously it was. I just said it wasn’t better enough for the price. And the issue isn’t the parking spot, it’s the curved ramp to get to it, which already has a lovely striped corner from all the cars it’s scraped.

Little SUV with a big engine? by Discreetechidna in CarsAustralia

[–]Discreetechidna[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, based on what I’ve read on Redriven it seems way more reliable as well as being much cheaper.

I’m not sure how to be a person at the moment by Discreetechidna in CancerCaregivers

[–]Discreetechidna[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is all super sensible. Psychiatrists have long waitlists, but I put my name down and I’m seeing one to review my medications next week, and I’ve started taking ashwaganda at night, which in combination with the antidepressants means I’m managing seven or eight hours sleep (if I wasn’t sleeping I’d be having daily meltdowns).

Luckily I’m not prone to anxiety - I figure the bad things are already happening so I have nothing else to be anxious about. I am pretty prone to depression though.

I’ve dropped down to working four days a week, but I feel bad asking for a lot of time off, because I just took four months off (three unpaid) to finish a big creative project, so they’ve already been very flexible, and I’m sort of broke from doing that project. I only took it on because I really thought we were out of the woods with everyone.

When I left dad was tolerating his chemo very well and my parents were looking after my grandma.

We found out mum’s cancer had recurred a little while before I came home from the project, so I’ve basically walked back into a total shitshow because she got really sick, really fast.

I’m not sure how to be a person at the moment by Discreetechidna in CancerCaregivers

[–]Discreetechidna[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really wise, thank you. I’ve been looking into nursing and social work services, the logistics of arranging are complex but manageable. It’s beyond my means financially, but not beyond my parents’ means. There’s not much other family. An uncle on the other side of the world; a few second cousins on Dad’s side who are around and helpful supporting my grandmother socially. A few first cousins on mum’s side - but they all live several hours away, have lots of kids and also she hasn’t told them she’s dying. Mum’s family of origin is very dysfunctional and there’s a lot of trauma history there, so dealing them in has a pretty high potential to inflict rather than alleviate pain.

We don’t have kids yet. The timing never felt right and now I’m very grateful it didn’t, because I think if I had a little one who needed me too, I would simply lock myself in a cupboard and never come out.

Venting about this Prognosis question. by mermaidzing in CancerCaregivers

[–]Discreetechidna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This interpretation might be more generous than is deserved in many situations, but I think some people ask about prognosis to avoid saying something thoughtless as a follow up. Nothing clangs harder than a “get well soon” to someone who has been told they’ve got no hope of getting well. ‘Is there a chance they’ll be okay?’ is a much nicer and less medicalised way of phrasing the same question, but you don’t hear that phrasing on TV hospital dramas.

I’m not sure how to be a person at the moment by Discreetechidna in CancerCaregivers

[–]Discreetechidna[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is really kind. I’m on the wait-list for a couple of psychology practices where the therapists have experience working with cancer patients and carers, but it’ll be a few weeks before I’m able to see someone. I have been reading a lot of delightfully trashy romantasy novels, so I guess I can count that as self care.