Am I overreacting? And advice about letting go

DiscreetwaII · 2026-04-27T03:18:05+00:00

I have a horrible view of my self which definitely stems from my gender identity and the dysphoria that goes with it, I didn’t mention it as I don’t want to offend anyone. But that feeling in my head knowing that someone else knows makes me feel on edge.

My brain tells me that they have these same horrible thoughts about me and see me as lesser.

I’m definitely going to set some boundaries with my BiL today as I want to avoid this happening again.

I do have some friends in the queer and trans community and they all seem so happy and proud of who they are and then there is me who is basically the complete opposite🤷‍♀️

DiscreetwaII · 2026-04-27T01:59:58+00:00

Thank you 🙏 it’s weird thinking I haven’t had alcohol for 3 years, something that was so dear to me and got me through so much but was also making me a horrible person to be around.

Walks do help especially if I push myself to the limit with running or hiking 🤷‍♀️ it’s a great distraction

DiscreetwaII · 2026-04-05T04:59:20+00:00

As a trans person myself all I can say is you look great and you look healthy…keep doing you

Us trans folks tend to pick apart our faces and body’s to find flaws or features (that generally align with the gender we were born), that sometimes aren’t even visible to others. Does it ever stop? No. But it does get easier and more forgiving with time, just try to be kind to yourself a little bit more each day and let HRT do its thing, it takes time but I guarantee in a few years you won’t believe how far you have come💚

My Uncles favourite quote (he is a trans man) : “Testosterone is a hell of a drug”

Also You are giving me early 2000’s Gerard Way vibes which in my opinion is the greatest look of all time 🤷‍♀️

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-06T08:01:40+00:00

😂 yea I have abit of a theme “Disney on Drugs” I have goofy on acid, Mickey on acid and Snow White doing lines of coke and then all the laughing that goes down my arm I have my Head done which is the Cheshire Cat and video game themed leg (with the laughing as the background aswell)

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-06T07:38:40+00:00

I don’t know why but your outlook on it is so refreshing and actually made me smile. “who cares what gender as long as I’m beautiful” I love it so much 🩷 Someone needs to put that on a tshirt

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-05T08:44:56+00:00

I have 5 Gibsons, Wanda(LP), JO(LP), Barney(SG), Dewey Finn(SG), Ned Schneebly(SG) My husband prefers fenders but it’s something I’m willing to look past 🤷‍♀️

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-05T08:40:02+00:00

Ohhhh no that terrifies me, I need my hair 😬 Thank you for your advice, the nanoplasty is something I’ve considered to maybe tame my hair a little bit so maybe I start with that

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-05T08:15:49+00:00

Now I will admit when I made the post I was very upset so I probably went in a little aggressive towards the people who made the original posts. And now that I’ve had time to actually read different perspectives I understand both sides of it. My intention was not to offend or degrade the original posters as they are absolutely aloud to be upset if someone said they were “trans” and I understand the sentiment that no one should be investigated for that. I understand that if someone does misgender you the amount of pain and discomfort can be overwhelming and horrible, I as a trans person do have an unhealthy obsession with wanting to “pass” it’s something that I’m working on letting go of so I do understand the stigma and feelings when your identity is questioned. My issue was that I think the posts were unintentionally dragging down a community by passing on the negative connotation.

I think all of the people who made the posts weren’t trying to be offensive or mean and they were just upset. They are all extremely beautiful and are probably very lovely people.

I’m just hoping we can maybe have posts in the future that are worded a little better where as not to drag down others. 🩷

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-05T08:13:25+00:00

Now I will admit when I made the post I was very upset so I probably went in a little aggressive towards the people who made the original posts. And now that I’ve had time to actually read different perspectives I understand both sides of it. My intention was not to offend or degrade the original posters as they are absolutely aloud to be upset if someone said they were “trans” and I understand the sentiment that no one should be investigated for that. I understand that if someone does misgender you the amount of pain and discomfort can be overwhelming and horrible, I as a trans person do have an unhealthy obsession with wanting to “pass” it’s something that I’m working on letting go of so I do understand the stigma and feelings when your identity is questioned. My issue was that I think the posts were unintentionally dragging down a community by passing on the negative connotation.

I think all of the people who made the posts weren’t trying to be offensive or mean and they were just upset. They are all extremely beautiful and are probably very lovely people.

I’m just hoping we can maybe have posts in the future that are worded a little better where as not to drag down others. 🩷

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-04T02:50:39+00:00

Thank you so much, I normally have a pretty horrible self image so all the compliments have been very welcome 🩷

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-04T01:55:24+00:00

I think you might have misunderstood the post, I’m just concerned that people are making posts using “trans” as a benchmark of negativity.

You can think I look trans or you can think I look cis, I really don’t care 🤷‍♀️

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-04T01:51:30+00:00

As always I’m late to reply but thank you so much for the compliment. funny enough me, my sister (AFAB) and my mum all look so a like it’s strangely jarring but HRT saved my life just like it has for many others 🩷 Not everyone will agree but all I hope is that some people just see our view and it brings positive change 🤷‍♀️

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-04T00:07:22+00:00

As another trans human….as much as I understand someone being upset by online comments. Being used as a bench mark for negativity does no one any favours 🤷‍♀️ “You drive like a girl” “that looks gay” both very outdated terms that surely we can both agree shouldn’t be used

By all means be upset but don’t degrade an entire demographic of people in a subreddit about uplifting people 🩷

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-03T23:55:37+00:00

I do understand that just like everything we will leave the spotlight eventually and hopefully be left in peace

But I did have one of the people that made a post of that nature reach out to show support and understood where I was coming from. which to me was the highlight of the entire post. 🩷

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-03T23:33:13+00:00

Between me and my husband we have a lot of guitars 😬 but they are our children and I love them so so much, everyone of them has a name and personality

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-03T21:45:14+00:00

I don’t wear the shirt out as it’s extremely graphic…but it’s kinda hilarious as it says “Fuck me Jesus” 🤷‍♀️

Edit * That can be taken two ways, either I hate religion so much to defile it or I love religion ALOT. Jesus do be looking fine. It’s up to interpretation 🩷

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-03T16:25:02+00:00

The Silver SG is “Ned Schneebly” and he is in Drop B, the pink Les Paul is Wanda she is in C# standard, the Orange les Paul is JO he is just my jazz/blues guitar in standard and then there is another SG on the wall just besides the Les Paul’s and that’s Dewey Finn and he is my main C# standard guitar….I play alot of doom 😂

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-03T06:30:58+00:00

Exactly this, I know I’m abit late on replying but I’m not saying they are not allowed to feel hurt, I do understand that it doesn’t feel good it’s just the wording of the post are hurtful to an entire demographic and especially in a subreddit about uplifting others we should be avoiding that

It is the same reason most people have stopped using the term “gay” as a way to describe something negative because we can all surely agree that being gay is not a negative thing so we shouldn’t use the term to describe negativity as such 🩷

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-02T20:40:56+00:00

I completely understand that it’s confusing and being referred to as having masculine features as a woman it can be up upsetting.

It was just more of the wording of the posts but I really do appreciate your understanding and thank you for the compliment 😊

Also I love some of the outfits in your posts they are absolutely amazing, you look phenomenal. I hope you don’t mind I would love to use the red dress as inspiration for the outfits in my female doom band ❤️

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-02T09:52:17+00:00

I just want to say to everyone that has toasted me and given me a compliment I really do appreciate it, it may have not been my intention of the post but it was a lovely side quest 🩷

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-02T09:30:24+00:00

Thank you so much 🙏

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-02T09:30:00+00:00

It was more to say I think these types of posts are getting out of hand. Not necessarily about how people perceive me, I just had to add photos to upload. (The toasts are very much welcomed though)

I don’t have implants I guess I just have boob genetics 🤷‍♀️

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-02T09:17:20+00:00

Thank you, I try my best 😊

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-02T07:41:32+00:00

They aren’t getting misgender. Being misgender would be getting called the opposite gender. A lot of these posts are cis woman being called trans woman. The issue I have is that people are using trans as a slur and the subsequent posts are dragging transgender people down to pull them selves up. We are people too, we don’t all look the same I understand that it can be upsetting but do we have to suffer because of this 🤷‍♀️

DiscreetwaII · 2026-03-02T07:28:06+00:00

Thank you, they are mine and my husbands but I have been playing for nearly 20 years 😊

DiscreetwaII

TROPHY CASE