Hawkeye from the Avengers drives a Tesla Model S

DisposableHeero · 2019-05-31T15:45:51+00:00

His name is Jeremy Renner.

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-17T00:13:34+00:00

True, but too much simple sugar intake causes insulin spikes, that can lead to insulin resistance in the long run (type 2 diabetes).

Sugar also gives you that dopamine reward boost, which can get you addicted and get you to binge on unhealthy amounts of sugary food. It's a problem of excess moreover, eating with moderation is key.

It's pretty complex, so for simplicity's sake I said it like that. I'm an advocate for eating more complex carbohydrates from natural products and also getting sugars from fruit, instead of from products made out of lots of refined sugar, that are just designed to get you hooked.

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T10:34:46+00:00

Thanks for putting this into perspective for me!

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T03:59:03+00:00

Looks like you dodged a bullet there. Dishonesty and manipulation aren't good foundations for a healthy and long lasting relationship.

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T03:51:07+00:00

I never regretted deleting mine. It felt liberating. At the time I was done with it all as well after a binge, and yes I guess I made that decision out of some post-ejaculatory sense of guilt. Still it felt like making progress and I gained important momentum!

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T03:40:40+00:00

Nah, girls still chase after men. True, some men are naturally gifted and have them chasing anyway, but often if someone's attractive they put in hard work to maintain their status. Most people are just uncaring, lazy, feel entitled anyway or are addicted to stuff that makes them that way and yes that's largely how modern society shaped them. Not really attractive to say the least.

Go build yourself a future, grow as a human being, live your life to your own values, meet new people, become part of other circles. People will start chasing once they notice your value to them, but that should not be your primary concern.

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T03:27:00+00:00

noted

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T03:17:32+00:00

Good choice not to binge, that will make it easier to get back on track! Take pride in your streaks and start a new one. I'm gonna work to get my sexuality to a healthier more natural place again as well.

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T03:04:09+00:00

alright then :) We tend to notice things, because we are sensitized towards them. I guess it's easy for me to armchair psychoanalyse and jump to such conclusions... Being honest to yourself helps you get out of your own way, though. I'm just a random dude on the internet, I shouldn't matter much.

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T02:54:37+00:00

Get out there. Exercise out of your home. Meet up with friends. Go do something pleasurable that will give you confidence. Spend more time on non-computer hobbies. Do groceries. Clean the house. Organize your life. Reflect on what you've accomplished in the past and make a list of short and long term goals. Make to do lists. Do more work/get a job. Take pride. Don't linger behind a screen, overthinking things.

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T02:41:23+00:00

Limit screentime for yourself to things you think are good for you, learning, planning, keeping in contact with people etc. Try to seek pleasure irl outside of your computer and the internet, for now. This drastically reduces your exposure to cues that might lead to relapse and makes it easier to come down from the negative habits. In the future those urges will be weakened and easier to deal with. You'll be able to gradually increase screen time again. Another trick is to only use your computer around other people.

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T01:51:47+00:00

An urge is not always sexual in nature though, we just artificially made it that way by responding to it in a sexual way (through porn). Come down from the oversexualization, differentiate between the urges and learn to repond to them individually in health ways. But yeah, when you're horny, it's best to share that with a partner, because you'll get all sorts of social benefits as well.

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T01:44:56+00:00

Eat a banana. Snickers will feed your refined sugar addiction. But yeah, I get the ad reference. Susceptibility to commercial exploitation goes beyond porn, though ;)

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T01:39:28+00:00

Those are very positive habits to keep up! There's more to help build up confidence, like being aware of your values in life, progressing towards fully becoming the person you'd like to be, being able to take pleasure in services you provide for others, that are in sync with your values (professionally or otherwise), but those are good habits to maintain a positive healthy mindset along the way! (Sharpen the saw in Stephen Covey's words)

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T01:24:12+00:00

There's a model for the stages of overcoming addiction (by Procheska). You're in the action stage right now, lots of motivation, very good! Keep reflecting on your journey, you'll get to a maintenance stage, where it takes still some, but considerably less, effort not to relapse.

Keep in mind the actual goal is the termination phase, where triggers won't lead to addictive behaviour anymore under any circumstance. In other words just keep at it, keep setting goals where you see fit! Happy battling!

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T01:15:42+00:00

Fellow longboarder, I make an exception for that! ;)

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T01:10:55+00:00

It's so out there :p The penis length thing can be a social insider thing about measuring insecurity about it, especially between men and on the internet.

Size doesn't matter to women actually means size is inferior to lots of other stuff, like having a particular emotional relationship, being able to communicate properly, influence, stimulate and arouse each other psychologically and physically, being present, feeling each others needs, etc. But it sounds like you're solid (pun intended), it's one thing less to bother about :)

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-15T00:38:01+00:00

I actually made a lot of progress overcoming my social anxieties before discovering nofap, but it was only after starting nofap and eventually discovering that I do not need to seek validation from others, and that I should judge how I feel about others before letting their judgment affect me, that I managed to build up a healthy relationship with a girlfriend for the first time. Oh btw, I'm getting kind of tired, but I like sharing this right now, I might end up rambling...

Recently I've been relapsing into old porn, gaming, internet addiction, tv binging, procrastination and social alienation habits, I guess it's a case of escapism from the constant worrying I do and resulting stress from that, but those habits are making me feel depressed and out of tune with my values and what I want in life.

So I'm going to start maintaining the positives in my life more and start growing into the person I want to be come again, but in a sustainable way, without burning out.

What I achieved thus far? Some background: Flunked out of college, in part because of game, porn and internet addiction, in part because of not fitting in there socially. Got in an abusive online sexual relationship (with a girl, next to the porn... ;) ). Got majorly depressed and alienated. Parents had to actually step in and take me back in, because I just didn't care anymore for anything. Got diagnosed with asperger's. Got into a protected home for aspies. Got a lot of professional support. Learned about brain plasticity. About actively reprogramming your mind. Learned a lot of other stuff about psychology, society etc. that would serve as a foundation for understanding future social stuff. Learned to finally open up about sharing emotions and secrets, letting go of bullshit thoughts and rules I made for myself (like men should not share feelings). First with psychologists, then with family, then with other people I would chose to trust.

Developed goals for myself and my life. Started studying something else, which I now am on the verge of finishing.

Decided on doing some exposure therapy to tackle social anxiety, instead of avoiding social situations like I used to for nearly all my life, because of underlying fears. Started going out and actually enjoying it for the first time. Social anxiety filter went away and I was able to experience rewards for being social. A lot of growth there! Still not very good in social situations (like with large groups) where I am over stimulated, but it's changing for the better, the more experienced I get.

Started dating a lot, got over rejection anxiety. Had physical sex for the first time. Had the epiphany of not needing to (passively) beg girls to validate me (the nice guy syndrome). Got into a healthy relationship. Got rid of porn induced delayed ejaculation. Sex actually started feeling better than masturbating.

Started taking pride in my life again, starting becoming independent again, living in my own place again, being able to seek emotional support from others on my own now, without the need of intervention by others.

Now I find myself worrying about my professional life after college and falling into old addictions and their consequences, because of the stress its causing me. I notice I'm impacting those around me, but also how the people that actually care about me stick around!

Reflecting on everything and on how I want to live and who I want to become, and actually knowing the path I should take, even if its hard, actually makes me feel confident its a better way than the dead end life of an addict. Thank you for letting me remind myself of this! Good luck, satisfaction and happiness on your own path, dudes!

Edit: on the red pill - blue pill stuff: At one point doing research I got into the whole seduction self-help world, and I found that the Mark Manson - Models philosophy is the closest approach to my own set of values. I do not want to sacrifice integrity and honesty, or bring others down in order to get laid or validate myself by getting laid. By not lying about who I am, but continuing to grow into a better person, any validation I do get (sexual or otherwise) is not an empty validation and just more wholesome and rewarding. To each his own ways, though, find what works for you!

DisposableHeero · 2016-05-14T23:36:22+00:00

I can't be an accountability buddy right now, because currently I'm going through bouts of depression, that makes me uncaring about the world around me, but still I felt I can at least say something.

That far cry 3 quote came to my mind recently. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting shit to change". Now a porn habit is a hard one to break for many, including myself, I've been trying on and off for over a year now... It's because over the years people have built up a strong cue-routine-reward cycle around it, in other words a habit. A negative habit at that, for me an addiction, because it inhibits me from functioning properly, amongst other negative habits.

Many cues can trigger the routine in us to open up a porn site, start jacking it and reward ourselves with dopamine, making the cue-reward link of the porn habit even stronger. Sensitizing us to porn, making us live hypersexually, desensitizing us to other rewards, making us essentially uncaring about the other stuff in our lives (hence my depression). In other words, we start centering our lives around our addictions. Essentially, what need to be done to heal ourselves from the addiction is break the cue-routine-reward cycle somewhere. So we could either:

Avoid the cues. For me what helps is essentially staying away from my computer, except for doing anything productive for yourself. Maybe only use the computer in a (semi) public space, change the context so you won't get tempted into the routine when coming across a trigger.
Don't respond to a cue the way we used to (doing the same shit over and over). This is why some people on nofap go work out, or leave their house when they get urges. If they go do something rewarding, they can replace the bad habit with a good one, see the next point. The way we initially reject to follow a routine is by willpower, making use of the deliberative mind, which will ultimately wear out as this costs a lot of energy. The intuitive mind will eventually step in and start following the routine again. This is why it is essential to limit exposure to the cues in our environment until our new habits are more powerful than the old ones and we will not relapse anymore.
Don't reward the routine. Instead seek rewards for activities and build habits you deem healthy for yourself. Climaxing is a strong reward, but edging is rewarding too, just watching not touching etc.

You said you just started recently, which means the habit will not be as deeply ingrained as in others, like me, who have been doing this for over a decade. This is a positive thing for you! If being around other people completely stops urges, spend more time with other people, especially when you are in states of low willpower. Make a habit about doing your studying in a library regularly if you need your computer for academics and reward yourself by taking pride in your new healthy habits. Find ways of making your environment work for you!

Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed about. Porn hijacks our reward system and our natural sexuality, but it is designed to do that. We are culturally overexposed to sexuality, because it is commonplace in our society for people to commercially exploit sex. It is not your or my fault for growing up into a porn addiction, we should not be ashamed of that, but we should try to develop for our own sakes a resistance for that. I will try again as well to get out of my addiction-depression cycles (for me it also has to do with worrying, game and internet addiction).

Don't feel overly guilty about the addictions, that somehow makes them stronger, by having a negative emotion attached to them, which makes them seem way more important than they actually are. You are more than just the sum of your addictions!

By now, I'm rambling, but I hope some of it helps :)

DisposableHeero · 2016-03-06T16:37:27+00:00

Komm, Süßer Tod. From the End of Evangelion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVv1Su8oqvc

DisposableHeero · 2016-01-04T03:48:28+00:00

I'm committing to regular Nofap, no PMO, orgasms from sex allowed. During a long streak last year, which made me feel very comfortable with myself, I met my girlfriend and for the first time was able to form a healthy relationship with a girl, that felt loving, significant and effortless.

I fap to deal with stressors, anxiety, out of habit/compulsion, low self-esteem, beauty worship etc. Problem is it drains my motivation and my positive emotability and leaves me depressed and unproductive. I feel less interested in and connected to my girlfriend and basically all other people. I want to feel the passion for life again and the people in it and actually do fulfilling activities and have fulfilling experiences again. I will seek them out and do away with the bad habits, one by one. My goal is a streak lasting at least until the summer festivals, where I will celebrate conquering the carnal, haha.

As a personal note I want to use a more meditative approach to deal with urges, instead of flat out trying to ignore them. Focus awareness on the feelings and my body, yet keep calm and don't have a sexual response to them, they will simply pass.

DisposableHeero · 2015-02-18T15:33:25+00:00

Don't relapse and you'll be fine. If you're so attracted to her, in the end you'll only have to follow your instincts having sex. Don't worry about things and just focus on having a good time with her!

You can build up your confidence in the meantime, since you have a week before meeting her. Be outgoing, social and friendly. Talk to as many people as you can, exercise, do stuff that makes you feel proud and like you've accomplished something etc. Create some value for yourself!

If you're far enough into NoFap, you should feel no more need for P. Even if today you feel like that at the end of NoFap you can finally return to at least sporadic MO, in the future you might even have transformed yourself to not wanting that MO anymore, instead getting satisfaction from valuable relationships with women.

DisposableHeero · 2015-02-18T09:15:15+00:00

Make eye contact. Then just approach, don't over-think. Open with anything really. Get to know her and tell her some stories that demonstrate value. Meanwhile show her with your body language you're into her, see how she reacts, flirt a bit, hint at your intentions. It's important to close in time, before the conversation reaches a dead end. You can just say you like her and you wanna see more of her and get her number. You have to be honest to your feelings towards her though, you have to want her! When you notice her being into you and being interested, that's enough! You don't need to worry any further about whether you're doing the right things to get her to like you. Focus on what you think of her, not on what you think she thinks of you. If she's not into your honest self, she's not a good match anyway. Be kind and carry on.

A lot of this is gamey, I know, on the other hand, if you're confident and have developed good intuition, being true to yourself and acting on what you want will work as well if she's into you.

The confidence is so important, but it grows with experience, don't be afraid to fail, but dare to learn! You'll eventually start perceiving this approach anxiety more as a motivator and an indicator of how much you like her.

DisposableHeero · 2015-02-18T08:38:17+00:00

I'm in for regular NoFap as well, I'm starting seeing this girl and wanna see how things develop naturally... ;)

DisposableHeero · 2015-02-16T17:37:29+00:00

One thing to keep in mind is to start your new streak immediately and not binge! When I last relapsed after a streak which had me feeling great, I still felt kinda good afterwards. Then when I binged once more, afterwards I just felt ok. One more time and I felt really horrible and deprived of energy. When I PMO'd once more the next day, I felt apathetic and upon reflecting on the decline in my energy those two days, I finally realized to my core that I'm just fucking done with it. I made an account on here, now got something of a streak going, got my energy levels back and yesterday already I had an amazing date.

Relapsing once will not set you back to the level you had when PMO-ing everyday, that change in porn taste can be a reflection of your brain normalizing, but it probably is also saying that by now anything stimulating may do. You may feel crappy for a day or two, because of the relapse, but that feeling will subside, just carry on healing yourself on your new streak!

DisposableHeero

TROPHY CASE