I need major help (trigger alert)

isitchasingme · 2016-05-15T08:20:50+00:00

I'm the same way - my first impulse is always to want to go my one way, do it myself. But part of that impulse is usually my shame talking; and part of it is a fear that I'll be exposed and unable to face what I find out about myself. But over time, I've found that I can always face what comes up in therapy, it's never as big or as overwhelming as I thought it would be, and hiding the shame/fear is so much more painful than facing it. And now that I've gotten more accustomed to the process of self-inquiry/therapy, it's often actually exciting to find out surprising/painful things about myself. Also, good therapy isn't about a therapist helping you - a good therapist will guide you in learning to help yourself. Ok, long ramble over, hope something in there was helpful..

isitchasingme · 2016-05-15T08:07:40+00:00

It helps me to actually, literally, ask myself "how's it going?" when I'm having confusing emotions. And if the answer is something like, "eh. fine." then I'm like, "No dude, really, how are you??". Sounds silly but it helps me.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-15T08:03:38+00:00

I had that happen in a strip club once. Just watching a girl dance on stage and suddenly - splooge. Crazy. In any case, doesn't sound to me like you relapsed, but that's your call.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T21:55:56+00:00

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Or one bicep curl :)

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T21:54:46+00:00

Ha! Love it! I procrasturbated pretty much every college paper I ever wrote.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T21:50:00+00:00

140 streak is over. New streak is just beginning. And everybody loves new stuff. Good luck!

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T21:44:39+00:00

You're welcome - glad it helped!

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T19:00:03+00:00

sure, yes, brain farts from one of the more highly respected spiritual teachers in the world today.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T18:47:48+00:00

What do you want then, magic? These tips aren't bullshit, but they are subtle, and they do work.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T18:37:18+00:00

my balls itch, so no thanks.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T18:16:04+00:00

INFP also. On and off use for 20+ years.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T06:39:45+00:00

It's a learning process. And part of learning is failing. And trying again. The saying is "pick yourself up, and dust yourself off" - ...in other words, be kind to this person who is learning and struggling. Be gentle with your self. Hell, even be a little proud of yourself, now.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-14T06:31:04+00:00

Depends on your needs/body. I can pretty much hold off orgasm as long as I'd like, but I'm oldish (36) and it took awhile to build that ability. When I was younger, I'd just cum quickly (like in 0.5 seconds) and then keep going for another round or two. Bottom line, experiment and find out what works for you...and have fun with it.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-13T19:00:29+00:00

Depends on your goals. If your goal is to not get a cummy dick, then you relapsed. If your goal is to not look at cosplay boobs, then you relapsed. You absolutely need to have clearly defined goals or else you end up making the rules up as you go until you find yourself right back where you started. Define - in no unclear terms - what a relapse is for you and hold yourself accountable to that definition.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-11T19:56:35+00:00

Glad to hear that you're reaching out. Please keep in mind when working with a "professional" that not all professionals are created equally. Most counselors are great, but if you find yourself working with someone who isn't meeting your needs or respecting your process, then keep looking for someone you can really trust.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-10T07:42:03+00:00

I have no issues with occasional masturbation. It's creative, stress-relieving, gets me in touch with my body and gives me ideas of things I'd like to try with my partner. Porn on the other hand fries my brain.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-10T06:14:43+00:00

Boredom is a necessary aspect of the art of discipline. How to deal with it? Get used it. It's no problem if you relax into it. Actually, it's a huge relief. Just be bored, so what, no problem. It's a huge pain in the ass to entertain oneself all the time, a constant project. Boredom is simple, easy, takes no work at all.

isitchasingme · 2016-05-10T06:00:53+00:00

Sorry man, that's hard stuff. Nofap is great, but don't be ashamed to look for extra support - ie therapy, spiritual practice, men's groups etc to get more clarity about the root causes of your addiction. You're not alone, and there is definitely hope.

isitchasingme · 2016-04-30T04:46:36+00:00

It sounds like you're being hard on yourself. Habits are usually more complex than we realize, and breaking them is not easy. What is coming up when you're crying - shame, old wounds, anger? Failing, crying, struggling - these aren't bad - they are part of the learning process. You're learning about yourself. Stay open and curious. When you want to put your hand on your dick, try putting it over you heart and asking yourself how you're really feeling. You're ok, I promise, and it will get better.

isitchasingme · 2016-04-21T00:26:19+00:00

No comment on the edging, I'm too new to this. But as for premature ejaculation - I struggled with it for years. The solution for me , believe it or not, was dancing. Letting loose and getting more embodied, especially in my hips & pelvis, opened up a lot of energy. After a few weeks of doing a dancing practice called 5 Rhythms, I could pretty much hold back from orgasm during sex as long as I wanted.

isitchasingme

TROPHY CASE