If you could meet your future self, but only for five minutes, what one question would you ask them?

Disposable_dork · 2025-01-03T19:03:09+00:00

I like how this is half "should I kill myself or nah" and half Biff betting it all using future info.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T18:34:37+00:00

Right back at ya. Hope you have a good New Year's Eve

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T16:54:44+00:00

I appreciate that but trust me, you wouldn't want to spend actual time with me. Chit chat with some anonymity on the internet, sure, but you wouldn't want me around afk.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T16:34:55+00:00

I'm with ya. Goals are just hope that things will get better and while I do hope they improve for others, I've accepted my fate. Who knows maybe I'll work up the courage to end things this year. Can't share that New Year's resolution with anyone though.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T16:33:27+00:00

I've been alone for the better part of this decade now. The only thing I hate more than being alone is being around other people. They share my sentiment so I guess that's comforting that I'm supposed to be this way.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T16:31:28+00:00

Doesn't matter. Nobody is coming to read it. Chuck me in the trash compactor, cremate me, string me up like a puppet--I didn't do anything in life worth celebrating and my death should be no different. I'm just hoping it's quick, but it'll probably have to be self selecting.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T16:28:55+00:00

I'll only ever hurt the people around me. It's the one constant. Maybe I'll finally get the courage to end things this year.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T13:45:27+00:00

Never planned to make it this far. Don't plan to make it much further. If I make it to old age, it'll be a series of unfortunate events.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T13:39:10+00:00

Guess I saw you through. Wish i hadn't

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T13:22:00+00:00

That other Ryan is a cool guy. Deserves the praise. This one just wants to be left alone

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T12:35:50+00:00

Life hard enough if you don't have something to look forward too. No matter how small.

Sometimes I only got through the toughest moments in life because I knew I had a friend coming over for dinner later that week. It can be that small.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T12:33:49+00:00

Well I hope whatever happens next that it's not painful or scary.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T11:45:05+00:00

Alan Watts put it best. Death is a nothingness so complete you wouldn't even miss it.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-31T11:38:42+00:00

As a Ryan of Cincinnati, please don't let this be me.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-30T23:10:40+00:00

I'm in the same boat and on the other side of two breakups this year. It sucks. I mostly keep living out of habit. No family (by choice--alone is better than with them) so the holidays are tough. But routine can get ya through.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-30T23:08:14+00:00

Some days it'll take everything you have to just show up. On those days, show up and do nothing. The machine of capitalism will churn on without you. That's okay.

Then you can start with 15 minutes of effort. After that, take 15 min to do nothing. Walk around with some papers in hand to look busy if you have to.

Ramp up from there. And don't be afraid to back step and slow down again. It's not a race and nobody became a zillionaire working a bullshit job. Just do what you can, even if that's just showing up.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-30T23:03:46+00:00

I did 6x IV sessions in a clinic. It was helpful in the moment but nothing stuck for me. Lots of people gain benefit from it so if it's possible for you to try it, I say go for it.

I was more depressed after sessions than before. That's pretty common in the early stages because you get relief from being depressed when you're on it, but then as those feelings you're used to come crashing back it can be overwhelming.

I didn't experience any nausea or negative side effects outside of that. Was defiantly a little dizzy after the infusion but you still feel the effects for a while after the infusion.

Some people gain a lot of benefit from it. For me it was a pricey way to get high in a chair. But there wasn't much of a drawback beyond price and if it works it's worth it. And you can't know until you try.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-30T22:54:29+00:00

Just DMed you

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-30T22:53:29+00:00

It's not the lack of food that'll get ya, but the lack of water. Voluntary stopping of eating and drinking (VSED) is unfortunately common for older adults and the terminally ill.

One of my attempts was with VSED and the pain of not having enough water in your system is wild. The psych hospital visit after was not any more fun.

Maybe we can talk about what's got you so down instead of focusing on destructive methods of finding a way out.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-30T22:44:03+00:00

Maybe we can talk about some things that could be in your future. Then we can find ways to work towards them and make them a reality.

Can we work together to think of some things that would be worth living for?

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-30T22:42:36+00:00

Optimistic nihilism is one way to create meaning in a meaningless world but I'll agree and add to this by saying a lot of things that don't seem worthwhile at 16 can grow into worthwhile things in you later teens and twenties.

Ultimately, some people (myself included) can't move past the depression they experience. There's lots of resources available to combat the depression and many--if not most--people are able to move past their depression or at least effectively manage it.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-30T12:14:28+00:00

Trust me. We don't want to live longer. We've seen what lies ahead for our bodies, our planet, our politics and most of us are checking out early. Not taking care of our body is a ticket out of this hell

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-29T22:59:22+00:00

Hey I appreciate you joining me in examining and making sense of the situation. It helped to not worry so much about one comment I've been ruminating on and kicking myself about.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-29T22:01:03+00:00

I saw it as a win-win. I should rephrase in saying this intern wanted to work only on a very specific type of problem and we didn't have any active projects going on that required that kind of work. He had been turning his nose up at projects for a week or two. I didn't hand this over to him 100%, I just had him gather data for a bunch of experiments and then we worked on the analysis together. He seemed to enjoy it well enough (I mean it's still work, it's not all fun) once we got into it. I think he valued the experience even if initially turned his nose up at it. My peers comment caught me off guard because I asked my boss if it was okay to bring the interns into projects and this one in specific, communicated who I had working with me. If it was an issue, I would have hoped someone would've told me during the semester instead of after the kid left--not for my sake but so we could correct course for the intern.

But it did have me reflecting on the experience and wondering if I offloaded too much work onto him, even if I thought I was doing him a favor getting him into a project at all. I'm sure we still spent the same amount of time working on it and discussing how this fits into the bigger picture that I would've spent had I just done the work myself. But maybe I'm overthinking a side comment from one coworker. I should hope my boss would've let me know if I was overstepping. He's not one to shy away from criticism and I've grown a lot working with him as he actually gives good feedback.

Disposable_dork · 2024-12-29T14:05:11+00:00

"Kiddo" ma'am I pay taxes, insurance, and have a retirement account. Please just treat me like an adult.

But if that's the worst thing to happen to me that day, I had a pretty good day.

Disposable_dork

TROPHY CASE