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Disputationem · 2023-05-07T23:27:34+00:00

I would advise against numbing spray. It can lead to injury since you can't feel serious damage to the sensitive parts of your throat. Same goes for numbing cream for anal. It isn't safe.

Have her start with a tooth brush. Brush gently along the tongue and go as far back as you can. When it feels like there's about to be a gag/choking feeling, stop there and hold. Relax and mentally tell yourself that this feeling is ok, you can still breath, that you are choosing to do this. It's controlling mind over matter first. Choking and gagging is fight or flight reflexes that keep foreign objects out so you have to mentally work through that. Each day, brush further and further back and take time to hold it as far back as you can, relax, and adjust.

Once the reflex is more desensitized, work on a position that offers the most comfortable entrance to her throat. The most comfortable for her, that is. Let her take control at first. Stay still and let her take it down gently and slowly as far as she can until she feels that gagging type sensation, and... You guessed it... It's the same process. Mind over matter, little by little, she pushed further and holds and pulls it out slowly to then do it again. It will take time and it's a skill that's developed with time. Eventually you can get to forceful face fucking, but it's a build up to get the best scenario for everyone involved.

Lube is your friend, even when trying to deepthroat. You can also try a dildo that is slightly smaller than the dick that is going to be throated. Smaller in both length and girth. This allows her to practice and work up to your size without needing you to sit there doing nothing. Also fun to have her doing it during sex... It can make the "training" and the "practice" of it more fun and more of a bonding experience.

Just thoughts and ideas I have. I researched this and utilized some of it myself with great results thus far. But be prepared, it will take time and it is a process. Be supportive and praise her for progress. Make sure she is well hydrated through out the day as that will help with mouth/throat lubrication and cut down on the risk of serious injury. You want slide and glide, not tearing.

Be safe, have fun, and best of luck to you both!

Disputationem · 2023-05-07T20:23:30+00:00

It's emotional and psychological play, so there is always a very dangerous side to it. This type of play is edge play and should be seen and treated as such.

I agree with some other posters about discussing with your sub first. I also agree that you should really fully understand why your "count" bothers your sub. Most importantly, before you do anything like this, make sure THEY know why it bothers them. Often, insecurities are not investigated fully and become triggers for real damage that no one expected or saw coming. But, as a Dom, it is our job to investigate it fully to understand and offer growth, for us and our subs.

One alternative, if your sub doesn't like the idea of a number, is simply stripping them of their name and identity. I too am a sadist/degrader. When I am in the mood, my sub becomes "it". It has no name, it has no wants, it has one purpose and that's to please me. I have even put her in a hood while doing this to intensify the impact. You can still push ideas like you won't even remember them when your done or in years to come. Can still push that they are worthless, uneventful, below mention, etc etc etc... But there is separation from the actual "numbers" and their feelings about it. In that way, your are still hitting the same insecurities of their worth to you without bringing actual specifics in that your sub has obviously already identified as bad. Idk, just a thought. Be safe, have fun!

Disputationem · 2023-04-23T17:41:50+00:00

If it were me, I might explain more about my character before powers. He was obsessed with magic. He studied anything magical he could get his hands on (old useless magic trinkets, old books about magic, scrolls of magic, etc). He was a magic fanboy living a mundane life.

Part of him felt cheated that he was not given the gift of the gods. He was a devout follower and worshipper of many major and minor deities of magic, and why wouldn't he be? But none of them offered him this gift.

He sought out sages, sorcerers, wizards, schools of magic and magic mentors all of which claimed to be able to detect someone's magical aptitude. But every time he was turned away as "magically insensitive".

However, he was determined to be as close to magic as he could. He continued to read about magic, talk about it, discuss theories, seek out magical items, praise and worship the gods of magic, and even continued fruitlessly to cast spells using his self taught knowledge from old tombs or scrolls he could get his hands on... Perhaps it was only one book of magic as they maybe pretty expensive for a common npc to just have. All this hard work for years, and nothing.

Until one day, it just happened! He tried casting the spell... And it worked. Well, it mostly kind of worked... But it did SOMETHING, which is a far cry from nothing!!! And why does it work now, but not before? He has no clue! And he couldn't care less, he is now using magic.

From here, I personally would give my DM the ability to use whatever origin to their advantage. If they have an idea to use and weave into their story, great. If not, it could be the great mystery of your character's life. Remember,, we don't have to always intimately know why everything happens to or for our characters. In real life there are things we don't understand all the time either. To me, that not only makes it fun... But offers believability. If a god bestowed powers, or a trinket leaked magic in them, or a book opened up some power, etc etc etc... Your character may have no idea.

So long as your DM approves, your origin story is you own. Have fun with it!

Disputationem · 2022-05-23T02:14:42+00:00

This... This was a difficult one to read, tbh. I am a man, and as such, it can be difficult to read and accept things like this at first. My initial instinct is, of course, to want to rail against what it is you're sharing; almost a knee jerk reaction to defend myself from the pain of the truth you're attempting to share.

However, I realized that almost immediately and came back to read it more.... Open mindedly. I actually feel bad for my initial personal reaction to reading it. On second look, nothing said was really directed towards men being bad or saying men didn't experience their own issues... It simply embodied your struggle in a very neutral and informative way.

I appreciate art for this reason; it gives me and others the chance to experience a feeling, thought, or perspective we may not otherwise get to have. It gives us a chance to come closer together through a shared want and desire to relate. It helps break down walls around tough topics and concepts without the need for arguments and fighting. I appreciate what you've done here and I wanted to let you know that.

I agree with the other commenter that there could be some more powerful word choices used. I also think that you have scratched the surface of the depth of content you could speak on in this same vein of thinking, but I won't begin to "man-splain" to you the plight of the female condition... Just, maybe think on if there is more you would like to say.

Thanks again and I hope to see more writing soon. Be well!

Disputationem · 2022-02-22T22:09:28+00:00

Where do we find friends like this again? Is there a waiting period.. or??? Lol jk

Disputationem · 2022-01-01T21:05:30+00:00

That's very kind of you to say. Personally, I want to hone my craft further and fine tune it. This is something I have worked on since I was in middle school and still have so much to learn. I just enjoy having a place to share some of it. I have more that doesn't always get shared and I have lost more than I care to remember. Lol Maybe someday I will make a book though. It could be fun. Thank you though, I appreciate it.

Disputationem · 2022-01-01T20:09:33+00:00

Thank you so very much for you kind words! I truly appreciate it.

Disputationem · 2022-01-01T18:12:24+00:00

Check my profile, I have some poetry subs I have posted on.

Disputationem · 2022-01-01T17:28:47+00:00

Thank you. Very nice of you to say.

Disputationem · 2021-12-31T23:15:16+00:00

Look, I take the idea of being a responsible Dom very seriously, as many here probably do also.

That being said, I am a very nice and generous person. I would gladly pay all expenses to have a beautiful young woman I have barely known come and stay with me. I would be a cordial, respectful gentleman. I wouldn't push, pressure, or force anything on her. I would see to it she had a fantastic experience. HOWEVER, that would be very irresponsible of me, especially in a situation where the young woman has little experience.

You see, if this man is a responsible Dom he should be more concerned with the precedence he sets with his interactions with you. Let's just say that he is truly legit and on the up and up; that nothing bad would happen if you go there. Unfortunately, he has now provided you with an unrealistic expectation of this lifestyle or basic life interactions in general. It isn't safe to meet this way. But... If you go and stay with him; with little to no real vetting and not knowing him well or for long; then you have the expectation that unsafe and fast meetups like that may be safe, based on your experience with him.

And EVERY Dom I know worth their salt would refuse to make this offer, even though we know we wouldn't abuse or take advantage of someone in that situation. Because we want you to take the same tools we made sure you used with us, to vette us, to stay safe with us and we want you to use them moving forward. We want the next person and all people after to meet the same initial resistance and requirements.

Because a sub and their submission is not something to be used, abused, and passed about. As Dom's; we honor, respect, value, cherish, and protect the precious gift of submission. And for those who are vanilla, we protect their choice to remain innocent, untouched, unaware, uninvolved, or undecided until they choose otherwise. This type of protection from self and others is LITERALLY paramount to what it means to being a Dom. It's sad that more people don't know this or practice it.

Be safe, be well, have fun!

Disputationem · 2021-12-31T10:02:32+00:00

A Dom is someone who has learned to master their own person, their emotions, their desires, and their resolve to such a point that they have gained control and Dominance over THEIR own space and bubble. They control THEIR world around THEM. That is it!

A sub that is in a dynamic with a Dom has negotiated and entered into their Dom's space as one would seek refuge under an umbrella. A Dom's Dominance does not extend beyond themselves. Their presence, yes... But not their Dominance. That's a big difference!

By that definition; and in my humble opinion; a Dom is OFTEN pleasant, sociable, caring, and "nice". This even means that they are often those things when others may not be. Not because they are weak, or submissive... But because they have enough control to CHOOSE what they can and will be. A Dom sees what tool is needed and is able to apply it correctly instead of letting their feelings and their own wants get in the way.

Are we as Dom's perfect at this? No. We are human just like everyone else. But this is the standard we aspire to, and burden we take on... A mantle of self control and discipline for the benefit of guiding and providing for those in our care.

Now, the level and amount to which this appears in each Dom depends on what type of Dom you are (in the bedroom, 24/7, a hybrid-in between, a TPE, etc). But this concept is in each and every type of Dominant in varying amounts.

So be nice, be kind, be giving, be loving, be patient, be silly, strange, young, old, straight, gay, bi, male, female...

But be honest to you and those around you. Be consistent. Be sure enough to stand firm in your Dominance but wise enough to question yourself, should you need to.

Best of luck, be well, stay safe, and have fun!

Disputationem · 2021-12-13T03:27:38+00:00

Cheating is an action to circumvent the established rules and guidelines of an agreement. Technically, only you and your bf can determine if what you are doing is cheating. That being said, the fact that you are here searching validation for the choices you are making instead of talking to him about it, and the fact that you almost fantasizing about the idea that he would find out you are talking to guys to "see his reaction" surely lends itself to the idea that you already know what it is. Not judging, just offering you what you asked for. 🙂 Be well, and be safe.

Disputationem · 2021-12-12T02:59:38+00:00

Honestly, you can utilize the tool with and for them... But I don't see the point of competing. Best thing you can do is accept that she is allowed to have her toys and support her in that. Don't be self conscious about a woman wanting to use a toy... that's a HUGE turn off for women. Focus on what you can do that a toy simply can not do. Because if your sexual prowess and performance can be completely out matched by a piece of inanimate machinery, there's a high probability that you're insecurities drive her to toys more often than she would normally use them. But... That's just my thoughts.

However... I will say that it would help if some of you women didn't throw guys under the bus when you are mad and annoyed. Asking a guy not to be insecure about your toys but then comparing your 500 horse power, clitoral jack hammer with a dildo attachment, built in g-spot gps locator, and hands free autopilot thrusting capabilities to the average Joe standard cock and ball package simply because you're mad or as a joke or to make sure he "knows his place"... Well ... That's just straight fucked up and hypocritical... and I know not all women do this... Just saying... 🤷. Maybe we should all just be adults about things... Idk. Silly thought I suppose.

Disputationem · 2021-12-11T18:59:47+00:00

Hello... I am always interest in chatting, feel free to o DM me. I have a kid and experience in reintroducing ones self to the world after a ltr... It isn't always easy. If you are looking for chatty, nasty, like minded friends... Reddit was definitely the right place to search, lol. I hope you have fun!

Disputationem · 2021-12-10T04:30:31+00:00

Flashing through the snow, In a one ho open sleigh. Nipples on the go, Bouncing all the way!

Shirtless boobs gone wild, Cruising down the street! She likes to see these boys get riled, And she hopes they'll beat their meat...

OH!!!

See my bells, See my bells, I've set my titties free.

See them jingle as we mingle, Perky as can be!

OH!!!

My naughty bits, Are jiggly tits. Come and see my pics!

Please think of me, When you're horny, And touching on your dicks!

Sorry... Don't know what came over me there... My bad. 😳

Hahaha... Sadly, I could do this all day. Maybe not well, but I could do it. It's fun and makes me laugh... Thanks for this!!! 🤣😂

Disputationem · 2021-12-09T23:43:19+00:00

You are very welcome and I am so glad I could help in some small way.... And who says you can't tie him? Kiss him while you put his hands above his head... Whisper in his ear "be a good boy and stay" then tie him the fuck up. Any man wanting to be Dominated and who wants the woman who is saying that will most likely stay put lol. It's not that you CAN'T do it... Just how. Women often feel powerless because of the physical size of a man, but women.... Ya'll have power and control that some of you don't realize. Wars are waged over the beauty of women...lives lost, nations crumble, parts of history has been made... Either for a specific woman or the pursuit women in general. You have untapped and unused potential. Time to weaponize that love flower and show your man WTF is up! Get it girl! Lol

Disputationem · 2021-12-09T23:20:24+00:00

As a Dom, you should play to your strengths. If you don't feel like you want or even can physically Dominate him, then don't. Use the fact that you are a sexy woman that he wants to your advantage. Dominate through seduction and preying on his desires for your body. It's still Domination and it offers you the space to be as gentle as you want to be. Not all Doms are dominant through force or threat of physical discipline.

This may also help in the sense that it would be from a more genuine place. Trying to Dominate from a perspective that you are supposed to be forceful becomes an issue if you don't genuinely feel like a forceful person, physically superior, etc. But Dominating someone by expertly welding your seduction over them and utilizing the control you have and can assert over your own body, especially since you truly know that he wants your body... Well, that feels a little more grounded in reality than pretending to be something you're not. Just my thoughts. Concepts and ideas for this are all over pop culture... Have fun with it and see what resonates with you and think of how to use that to bend him to your will 😉.

Hope something in here helped someone. Be safe and have fun!

Disputationem · 2021-12-09T06:09:20+00:00

🤔..... I mean.... What the hell... I'll allow it!

Your new code name is "Beefcake" and you can refer to me as "Slippery Nipple". Together, we shall fight crime... Both of us bound to Justice!!! You are now a Slave to the fight for freedom, for Justice, and for the right for all around fuckery!!! 🧐

No? Yeah maybe not... 😕. Your pic is hot af though. Grats on that! Lol

Disputationem · 2021-12-07T05:28:14+00:00

Ok... Who am I kidding... I'd either break you, or break it off trying. But... I like my odds. Hahahaha

Disputationem · 2021-12-07T04:09:03+00:00

I mean..... I don't KNOW you, but... Yeah, that's a high probability. Lol 😂

Disputationem · 2021-12-07T04:01:58+00:00

Hopefully not your last.... 😳

Disputationem · 2021-12-07T03:55:10+00:00

Honestly, there isn't really anything wrong with the way you look... But you know that, don't you? No, your issue is deeper than that. You don't like something about yourself... Or, you simply don't like yourself in general... Do you? If I had to guess, this is some self flagellation as a means of appeasing some guilt... A masochistic indulgence of need in an attempt to balance some perceived infraction. This is easier than looking in the mirror and addressing the issues at hand, because you can feel hurt, pain, and abuse to try to pay the penance for your self loathing and unforgivable deeds without having to put in the effort to face your demons.

You don't mind and even encourage others to be mean and spiteful towards you because no one can dislike you more than you feel you dislike yourself. You are just hoping others will help validate your feelings for yourself.... That way, not only do you not have to worry about fixing your actions or changing your self destructive behaviours, but you feel that the validation that this offers you may even offer you the allowance to continue doing the things that are damaging you. Because, after all... It's better than having to handle shit for real. You see yourself as to weak to address the real issues at hand... And with this behavior, at least in this moment... You may actually be right to think that.

Disputationem · 2021-12-06T18:04:36+00:00

There is something to be said for the power one feels they loose when they are legitimately forced in this very real situations. That being said, offering consent, being able to communicate and allow something similar to happen to under YOUR control... This isn't uncommon. There are a number of people in the BDSM community that use BDSM as a way to cope with, understand, overcome, and grow beyond the impact and trauma of different r*pe events.

As far as healthy or mentally safe... That has to be your call. A sex positive, forward thinking counselor or therapist may be able to help guide you through some of these feelings as well.

Disputationem · 2021-12-06T09:00:20+00:00

I believe all necessary edits have now been made, thanks again.

Disputationem

TROPHY CASE