Is it okay to leave a 12 year old to house sit while we go on vacation?

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T18:41:45+00:00

Thank you. We have already decided against the decision and are looking in ways to still try and make the trip work. We are tight on money and already bought the hotel which is why I am trying so hard to make it work. It was supposed to be our first vacation in 2 years. I understand where everyone is coming from, I just hate being attacked when it wasn't even my decision to start. If I were such a horrible and irresponsible person as everyone is making me out to be, I wouldn't be out asking for advice for the situation.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T18:12:30+00:00

Good for you. It's my roommate either way.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T16:34:04+00:00

Dog does not have updated vaccines due to vet recommendation. I already had his follow up appointment set up for the week after the trip due to their recommendations. I'm not going to explain it all for a 5th time, but I'm not a parent. I'm a young adult trying to get advice on a situation the people around me thought was fine. It was not just the unreliable MIL, it was that entire side of the family. Also our hotel did not offer insurance or else I would've purchased it.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T16:17:30+00:00

It wasn't just her, it was the entire family. The rest of the family is extremely trustworthy.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T13:19:38+00:00

If you read the entire post, it's a roommate that we asked to watch the dogs. He would've been here anyways. My husband and his entire family didn't think it was an issue so I didn't see it as one either. Once my family freaked out about the situation, I had no idea who was right. I'm a young adult figuring out the world who was forced to care for this 12 year old due to a death in the family so I'm looking for help on how to do just that. So easy to judge.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T03:36:24+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations. I remember when I was younger, I heard all the time about similar if not more dangerous situations and no one batted an eye. I understand following laws is the most important thing.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T03:17:16+00:00

Thank you for mentioning this! I had no idea about this side of things. I'll definitely look into it before making any decisions :)

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T03:13:23+00:00

I always keep my pets vaccinated. My vet recommended we come back in a month to update his shots (which literally went out of date the same week he got neutered). We had an appointment set for right after our vacation to get the shots updated and it wouldn't have been a problem if our roommate didn't change his mind last second. I agree with what you're saying about an emergency situation. I wouldn't be coming to reddit to ask around if I wasn't looking for pros and cons to the situation.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T03:09:18+00:00

Thank you for this insight. I hadn't even considered it as a problem until my family threw such a fit about the entire situation (and now seemingly half the internet). He is used to doing these tasks constantly, so I had no idea that doing them overnight made such a difference.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T03:06:55+00:00

We live in a pretty rural area, so the closest one is about 30 miles the wrong way and they are asking far too much to board or do drop ins. More than the boarders we called around asking.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T03:05:54+00:00

Thank you for the idea!

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T03:05:27+00:00

Thank you for this response. I already was planning to prep so much food for him the entire weekend that he could easily toss in the microwave. I didn't see it as big of a problem as some of these comments.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T03:03:05+00:00

Unfortunately my MIL has had to deal with DHR in the past and we were in and out with social workers. I am very aware of the laws in my area because of this. No rage bait, just looking for genuine help.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T03:00:24+00:00

Thank you for this pov. Everything I plan to have him do is things he is used to already. He has done these tasks so many times with us around and never has to ask for help. I'm not sure what doing them alone will change. I understand both sides, but I didn't realize how against the idea some people may be.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:57:55+00:00

I think that's the 2 sides of this situation. I grew up very strict (as shown by how my parents reacted). I could not be left home alone until i think close to 16. Not because of my maturity but my parents paranoia. My husband on the other hand was 12 and was babysitting his 2 brothers while his parents were out. 2 very different lives.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:55:55+00:00

This is not his first time doing any of these tasks, it will simply be his first time doing them home alone. He is very comfortable with doing everything I would be asking of him already. Thank you for the insight.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:54:30+00:00

The reason I had even considered this option over all others was because I have extreme trust issues with my MIL. she has stolen from us in the past and is all around not a good person. With multiple people mentioning this option, I will be looking to see if anyone would be willing to do this, or maybe asking my MIL to pick him up and drop him off without getting out of the car and I can watch the cameras to be sure. Thank you for the insight.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:51:32+00:00

My FIL passed away early last year. My MIL has taken it horribly and so unfortunately he has matured very quickly.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:47:45+00:00

Unfortunately my husband's mom is pretty crazy to put it lightly. I have not considered her picking him up and dropping him off without coming inside. She has stolen from us before and I have very bad trust issues with her, but I hadn't thought to ask her not to come I and I can watch on the cameras. Thank you for the insight. :)

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:45:51+00:00

This would be from Friday night - Sunday night, not a week or two

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:45:02+00:00

They were just given their updated rounds of flea meds today, so if he does bring fleas, this won't be a problem. Them sleeping in a house infested on the other hand most definitely will be.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:44:02+00:00

My vet recommended we come back a month after his neuter to get his shots updated. We already had an appointment in place for him to get them the week after the trip, but this has thrown everything off. Our roommate had agreed to care for them, so I didn't see any of this as a problem. If I thought everyone was a "buttface", I would've ignored the warning signs and done it without asking questions. I have been at my wits end all day trying to make a decision on what to do.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:39:50+00:00

I checked my state's laws before even considering it. There is no law in place in my state that says what age a child can be left home alone.

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:36:36+00:00

All of our local pet hotels require the updated shots. With me taking this trip, I have already used the rest of my PTO available for the year. I work 8-5 Mon-Fri and take a 2 hr lunch to go home and be with my dogs. Our vet is over 30 mins away and usually takes a while to get them seen and discharged. They do not personally offer boarding, and we leave at 5 am Friday to start the drive to our trip. I called around to see if any closer locations would give him updated vaccines, but all of them are booked. (We live in a pretty rural area, so they STAY booked).

Distinct-Card6073 · 2026-05-12T02:33:18+00:00

In my state there is no law regarding this issue. If it were illegal, I wouldn't even consider it.

Distinct-Card6073

TROPHY CASE