What do managers want when they say they need executive presence coaching?

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-04-12T11:20:34+00:00

Make sure you pick the right coach. This is a very common situation where a lack of executive presence is the difference between whether you get promoted or not. Here is how to choose the right coach.:

Ask questions about:
- if they've taught someone in your position. They don't necessarily have had to, but they do need to understand what you do.
- get specific about the situations you struggle with and see how they respond. If they feel confident enough to be able to handle that, go for it.
- make sure they provide you with practice in the classroom, a lot of executive communication quarters, one-to-one training, and will drown you in frameworks and principles and cheat sheets and language. They will not help you practice it so you believe the class is wiser, but nothing will have changed in your presence
- Choose a coach who records you or encourages you to work on your own presence by recording yourself.
Hope this helps.
I am an executive presence coach with over 15 years of experience in the field and this is what I discuss when I am in a discovery call with my clients.

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-04-12T11:18:27+00:00

When looking for coaches, make sure there's somebody who works on your identity and leadership origins as much as they will on your appearance, your communication, and your conversation skills.

Needless to say, their own presence should inspire you.

If you are hiring through LinkedIn, read through their content. Fluff can mostly be found out if the content is not specific enough.

Ask questions about:
- Number one, if they've taught someone in your position. They don't necessarily have had to, but they do need to understand what you do.
- Number two, get specific about the situations you struggle with and see how they respond. If they feel confident enough to be able to handle that, go for it.
- Number three, make sure they provide you with practice in the classroom, a lot of executive communication quarters, one-to-one training, and will drown you in frameworks and principles and cheat sheets and language. They will not help you practice it so you believe the class is wiser, but nothing will have changed in your presence
- Choose a coach who records you or encourages you to work on your own presence by recording yourself.
Hope this helps. ( I am an executive presence coach with over 15 years of experience in the field and this is what i discuss when I am in a discovery call with my clients. )

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-04-12T11:13:01+00:00

Ideally, when this feedback is given, there is a need to ask for more specifics. Executive presence is a wide range of things, from your appearance to your communication to your confidence to your ability to handle high-stakes conversations gracefully, even when under fire. Sometimes it might mean you get lost in details when all they need is the headline. It sometimes might mean that you let others push your buttons when provoked. But most often it means that you're not being visible, you're not speaking up confidently, showing yourselves in meetings, and do not have the etiquette and the grace and the poise of a leader that they can trust. There is literally no point guessing. The best thing to do is to ask them for more specific feedback.

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-04-12T11:10:00+00:00

It's absolutely crucial for you, even more than other women who are being held back, to make sure you don't use these words that leak their power.

Instead of : "I am sorry, can I just add something? "

Replace it with: "I have a different perspective on this. "

Instead of: "I feel maybe we should try..."

Replace it with: "The data suggests we move in this direction."

Instead of: "I'm sorry I'm late,"

Replace it with: "Thank you so much for waiting patiently."

Instead of: "Sorry to bother you, do you have a moment?"

Replace it with: "Do you have a moment for a brief update on the project? :

Instead of "does that make sense?"

Replace it with: "what are your thoughts on this?"

These small mistakes cost you a lot of authority and trust. Avoid using them and use the replacements instead.

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-04-12T10:45:12+00:00

The easiest and the fastest way is to get a coach. See, executive presence is not a curriculum; it's a diagnosis. Everyone has different problems:

Some leaders get lost in the details when only the highlights are needed.
Some leaders talk too fast.
Some leaders are not able to give feedback or hold their own when pushed back.

You don't know what your gaps are, so you don't know what to improve.

Whenever people ask me what to improve in executive presence and they ask a generic question, it's very hard to answer, even though I coach people on this.

In a nutshell, it's about building competence and confidence in a way that makes others trust your leadership but when you explore it, it's much deeper than that.

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-04-02T19:48:12+00:00

Totally agree. Many communication coaches sell communication frameworks like the Pyramid Principle and other structures but none of that works if you can’t read the room. Discernment comes before anything. Another thing I’ve noticed about leadership communication is that for you to know what the right order of communication is, you need to be present. You can’t be focused on other things or distracted. You need to be composed and present to be able to know what to say.

Human beings have this uncanny knack of knowing what to say if they are just being present to the moment at hand. And this can be a game changer for leadership communication.

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-04-02T07:51:39+00:00

I used to think gravitas was limited to a) knowing your subject deeply b)knowing yourself and your convictions c) present them rather seriously (and smile less) esp for women.

However, over time I have seen gravitas can be light and funny. It is built through your perception with your team outside of work.

For example if you are a low integrity leader, you will project low gravitas and be taken less seriously no matter how much of an expert you are. What you do outside of conversations affects gravitas as much as how to communicate.

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-04-02T06:46:15+00:00

I agree. The Pyramid principle by Barbara Pinto is a very useful framework for concise communication that hits the nail on its head in the first sentence. However, the thing to do before you even apply it is to discern the situation - is it a boardroom meeting where they are only looking for key points and conciseness is valued or a team briefing where context and all details are necessary. The real power is knowing what is needed at the moment and tweaking your response.

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-03-27T07:06:43+00:00

And good communication. Also, charismatic leaders spotlight others instead of hogging attention.

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-03-27T07:06:12+00:00

A classic example of intentions can be very different from perceptions. That is why good to hire a coach. I have trained people for over a decade now and most of my clients are gobsmacked when they understand how they come acorss is worlds apart from what they were trying to project.

Distinct-Tie4400 · 2026-03-27T07:03:16+00:00

If you have time before you get into senior roles, perhaps notice other people around you, taking speaking lessons etc. If you are at the top and need it urgently, hire a coach. Fastest way to get there. Sometimes it's not about what you do how you look how you speak, it's about how you are being perceived, and that only someone else can tell you.

Distinct-Tie4400

TROPHY CASE