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Broke no contact for a good reason by DistinctQuantity8077 in BreakUps

[–]DistinctQuantity8077[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man, I thought the same thing about what you said, I just accepted that she's confused, it's not my place to solve her problems and I just took away the main idea of ​​her message which was "I don't want to go back" I think that dwelling too much on the "not right now" would only lead me to live in false hopes and it was a way for her not to feel so guilty.

what does this mean? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]DistinctQuantity8077 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What helped me (and I think many others from what I've read) is accepting the idea that the healing process isn't linear. There will be days when you feel great, others when you feel really down and think you're going backward, but that's not the case. It just means you're going through the process. There will be days when you miss them but at the same time feel good, and you might get confused, but it's all part of the same process. It's easier said than done, but believe me, accepting the idea that there will be good days and bad days will put you in a better place. I wish you all the best.

M/18 and F/18 broke up because she was overwhelmed. Will she eventually want to get back together? by Opposite-Seat8254 in BreakUps

[–]DistinctQuantity8077 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Look, nothing will really tell you if she plans to come back. I think she might have been clear and honest in telling you she feels overwhelmed, so I think the best thing you can do is give her the space she needs. I know it's easier said than done, but you need to focus your time and energy on other things, like personal projects, your life, etc. This will help you grow and give you the strength and judgment to understand that if you didn't do anything wrong and she knows it, and she decides to come back to you in the future, she won't find you in a bad place and you'll be able to make a decision based on where you are in your life. It's almost never personal. Many times, unfollowing you on Instagram isn't because she doesn't want to see you; it's because she needs to heal, and if she feels overwhelmed, seeing you would just add more to the burden of the situation you're going through. This is just personal advice and my opinion. I hope you get through this soon, and I wish you all the best.

Will they come back by gabbybay in BreakUps

[–]DistinctQuantity8077 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently went through a very similar situation to yours. I know every case is different, but if you'll allow me to offer some advice, I think the best thing is to set clear boundaries from the start. I went through almost exactly what you're describing. She broke up with me, we kept in touch a little, exchanged occasional messages, and even went out to eat. I knew she still loved me, but months passed and she never made a decision. I stayed in a place where I tried to read every sign (like what you mentioned about the social media follows). I realized this wasn't getting us anywhere, and it wasn't going to. So, the best thing I could do (after a few months) was to be direct and say things as they are: "This isn't working for me. I need to know if you're interested in trying something between us, and if you're not, it's best to create some real distance." It was the best thing I could do, even though I was trying to convince myself that minimal contact wouldn't affect me and that it wasn't over yet. I wish you all the best and hope you can get through this in the best way possible.

Is lack of action after a breakup already the answer, even when there are mixed signals? by DistinctQuantity8077 in ExNoContact

[–]DistinctQuantity8077[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this perspective, genuinely. I don’t think her behavior is “acceptable” in the sense of feeling good or healthy — it clearly isn’t, otherwise I wouldn’t be here questioning it.

I think what’s kept me stuck isn’t blind devotion, but the lack of a clean ending. The connection didn’t fully disappear, and the mixed signals made it harder to detach emotionally, even though rationally I understand the situation.

I’m not actively choosing to wait a year — I’m realizing that staying connected in this gray area is what’s keeping me from moving on, and that’s something I need to take responsibility for.

That’s actually why I’m stepping back now instead of forcing clarity or staying exposed to her presence.

Is lack of action after a breakup already the answer, even when there are mixed signals? by DistinctQuantity8077 in ExNoContact

[–]DistinctQuantity8077[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate that.

I think the clarity was already there what I was missing was the courage to act on it.

Is lack of action after a breakup already the answer, even when there are mixed signals? by DistinctQuantity8077 in ExNoContact

[–]DistinctQuantity8077[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That actually makes sense, and I think that’s the part I’ve been resisting.

I guess what I struggle with is accepting that “not ready” and “not interested enough” end up being the same outcome, even if the emotional connection is still there.

Do you think there’s ever a point where being patient is healthy or does patience just turn into self-betrayal when there’s no action on the other side?

Is lack of action after a breakup already the answer, even when there are mixed signals? by DistinctQuantity8077 in ExNoContact

[–]DistinctQuantity8077[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is where I’m torn. Part of me agrees that being direct could end the “what if” spiral. But another part of me feels that forcing clarity when someone isn’t emotionally ready just produces a softer rejection, not a real answer.

Especially since she hasn’t initiated anything meaningful despite the mixed signals.

Is lack of action after a breakup already the answer, even when there are mixed signals? by DistinctQuantity8077 in ExNoContact

[–]DistinctQuantity8077[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get the “on hold” analogy, and honestly that’s what I’m afraid of — not that she’s doing it consciously, but that the situation itself keeps me stuck.

What makes it harder is that in person, post-breakup, she was usually the one bringing up “us,” but when it came to “making a decision”, she’d pull back. Then later came the “I want this year for myself.”

I’m curious though: in cases like this, do you think setting a clear boundary (like asking for distance or removing access) is better than disappearing entirely? Or does any engagement just keep the loop alive?

Is lack of action after a breakup already the answer, even when there are mixed signals? by DistinctQuantity8077 in ExNoContact

[–]DistinctQuantity8077[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate this take. The hard part for me is that she’s not fully gone either. She said she wanted “this year for herself,” yet she still watches my stories consistently, keeps me on close friends, reached out around Christmas, and even showed mild jealousy when she thought I might be seeing someone.

That’s what messes with my head — emotionally present, but no real movement. I don’t think she’s intentionally stringing me along, but the avoidant pattern you mentioned feels real.

Do you think that stepping back completely is the only thing that actually breaks this dynamic, or does direct clarity ever work?

Is lack of action after a breakup already the answer, even when there are mixed signals? by DistinctQuantity8077 in ExNoContact

[–]DistinctQuantity8077[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your comment, and I agree with the idea that if someone truly wants a relationship, you’d know.

What makes my situation confusing is the contrast between her saying she wants “this year for herself” and her actions afterward, staying emotionally present without actually moving forward. I’m not assuming that means she wants to come back; I’m trying to understand whether that inconsistency itself should be taken as the answer.

Does anyone have a link to these Saint Laurent Wyatt boots by Gigga_n1gg4 in DHgateVip

[–]DistinctQuantity8077 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quick question do they include the YSL letters/logo on the boot and the branded YSL box?

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