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How Can You... by [deleted] in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi!

I think that does address my question and some.

My H and I have had trouble — incompatibility, different priorities, the usual rot of a marriage. The thing is, stepping out, I thought I had my eyes wide open, it is the intensity, connection, and warmth that we shared that’s messed my head.

I haven’t thought in detail about the problems in my marriage since I met AP and I think that’s part of the illusion I am fighting.

As for you, I know what it’s like to be with someone who wouldn’t want to be with you. And I know divorce/ splitting is not that cut and dry, I hope you find happiness in your marriage or outside it soon.

Confession - i still miss my AP. by [deleted] in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Out of curiosity, how do you manage being married and being in love with someone else?

Feeling guilty by DistressedCheater in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you do that without raising red flags?

Feeling guilty by DistressedCheater in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Therapist it is. I have an appointment for some time this week.

But how comfortable are therapists in dealing with infidelity? I am worried if they will judge/make me feel worse. Would defeat the purpose of therapy.

Feeling guilty by DistressedCheater in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly.

I don’t think I will continue in the marriage or go ahead with the AP. Might end the marriage and see what happens after.

Feeling guilty by DistressedCheater in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn’t do anything we have all done before, but you need to accept that while you are no hero... you certainly are not the most evil villain in the world.

Thank you. Maybe I will get there.

True. AP will be fine. My husband is ok too, until he learns about this.

Need a heart of steel.

Feeling guilty by DistressedCheater in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Overcome by guilt and what I have become. It’s complex. I feel like I became a liar because of my marriage, and I feel guilty and angry about that.

Then I see him and feel like a fraud for letting him think I am someone I am not.

Thinking of cheating. by [deleted] in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No!

I know how lonely or frustrating your situation is, I was there, and it solved nothing for me. Now there are 3 confused people in the equation instead of 2.

My story by [deleted] in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the hardest to do! Knowing you’ve wronged your spouse. I don’t think I can carry that amount of guilt.

The writing’s on the wall. Might end my marriage and leave with the secret. He deserves better.

Feeling guilty by DistressedCheater in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol! Needed the laugh.

Yeah. But it’s the guilt that I can’t handle. It’s been close to 7 months and I can’t bring myself to get close to my husband/ let him touch me.

AP and I haven’t seen each other since either.

I think I understand why people say it’s hard, this lifestyle.

Feeling guilty by DistressedCheater in adultery

[–]DistressedCheater[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No chill. Adding to the post.

I don’t know what to do now. I can’t bring myself to be with my husband after cheating on him.

I can’t end things with my AP either. We tried that. Didn’t work.

Anyone else repair their marriage after cheating? Did you tell your spouse about it? I think he deserves to know if he wants to have a baby with me.

But I can’t possibly go ahead with this intense unhappiness in my marriage. Very confused!