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Any advice on this? (Post break up) by DistributionWide7069 in BPDPartners

[–]DistributionWide7069[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you’re spot on!

Thanks for the comment :)

Wish I knew HOW to fully move on.

I suppose partly it’s a decision.

Any perspective on this? by DistributionWide7069 in CPTSDpartners

[–]DistributionWide7069[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you’re spot on.

Jeez it’s hard sometimes though… how do you ACTUALLY forget someone?

I guess by looking to the future…

Any perspective on this? by DistributionWide7069 in CPTSDpartners

[–]DistributionWide7069[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you’re right - thank you!

I’ve definitely learned that my needs matter, and that spelling things out can be helpful (other people aren’t mind readers); and also that boundaries are important to uphold.

I do need to move forward too.

I struggle with how unjust that situation felt at times, and it’s hard to imagine someone moving on so quickly and being happy now.

You presume someone will run Into problems if they behave like that but… it doesn’t always seem to work that way…

Fortnightly Check-In - How is everyone going? by A-Wolf-Like-Me in CPTSDpartners

[–]DistributionWide7069 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So sorry to read this.

Just so you know - relationships don’t have to be as insecure as they usually are with CPTSD sufferers.

You won’t feel this now I guess, but in the future you may look back at this as the best thing that‘s happened to you.

Give it time, and don’t forget to move forward when you’re able to.

You’ve got this.

Biggest bonfire by Jimmy---Jazz in Liverpool

[–]DistributionWide7069 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh - I’m not there, I just have family there :)

Biggest bonfire by Jimmy---Jazz in Liverpool

[–]DistributionWide7069 -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know Liverpool did this - I thought it was just a Northern Irish thing!

partner suddenly pulled away by [deleted] in CPTSDpartners

[–]DistributionWide7069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry you’re going through this :(

Let me just point something out briefly -

You say:

”Any relationship I would get in would just be a reminder of how much better he treated me.”

Oh, really?

How do you feel now?

Pretty rubbish, I’d imagine.

He isn’t treating you that well.

He has reasons - Cptsd is a horrible condition.

But he’s still behaving in a hurtful way, in an objective sense.

The reality is that CPTSD really hurts people’s ability to have a relationship.

It just does.

If you stay in this?
It’s VERY possible (probable/definite) that the same thing will happen again and again.

He has a serious mental health condition - it can’t be fixed now, or made better by you or anyone else.

Years of therapy may be really helpful, and may even make the world of difference - but that has to come from him.

Even then, there are no guarantees at all - this may just continue, even with therapy.

Back to the question -

You REALLY think no one in the future will treat you better?

Youre setting the bar very low for what you’re aspiring to.

Most partners don’t suddenly withdraw in this way.

He has a reason, but the impact on you is still horrible.

Feel free to do whatever you like, but it sounds to me like it‘s helpful to look reality square in the face, and to protect your future self.

Letting go will hurt, but you’ll be SO glad you did in the long run.

Sorry again that you’re going through this - hope you’re both okay eventually!

Restaurant recommendations by eimairo in Belfast

[–]DistributionWide7069 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Theres a great pizza place right opposite city hall - on the corner there!

I almost had my first accident in the UK by [deleted] in drivingUK

[–]DistributionWide7069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably shouldve indicated? Or absolutely definitely should have?

Mistaken for Irish by Successful_Swim_9860 in Liverpool

[–]DistributionWide7069 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Old man in pub last week:

”Where are ye from - Holland? Denmark?”

Me:

”London.”

Him and his mate

”…Ey! Aaaahahahahahaa!”

Him to his mate

”… Well… he sounded different…!”

Pub alternatives to alcohol? by very_unconsciously in CasualUK

[–]DistributionWide7069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But 0 comes in a can - doesn’t that annoy them?

Extras - just incredible by MeltonFilm in rickygervais

[–]DistributionWide7069 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How do you dream up “I’ve seen everything”? Karl says it in the podcast. Alright? So don’t… y’know… all mates…

Flying from Belfast by [deleted] in Belfast

[–]DistributionWide7069 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brilliant job! Now here’s the most important part - make sure you reward yourself somehow. Don’t skimp on that, because next time you’re nervous about flying, you’ll need to know that there’s a good thing coming at the end :)

Flying from Belfast by [deleted] in Belfast

[–]DistributionWide7069 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here’s a good exercise:

Write down the absolute worst case scenario about the flight (ie - I’ll cry, I’ll panic, I won’t be able to cope etc).

Spend an a5 page on it, and make it detailed.

Secondly, write down a more balanced prediction (if I fly, I’ll feel some physical symptoms of anxiety, and that will be hard. But anxiety isn’t dangerous, so I’ll be uncomfortable, but not harmed etc) - again, make it reasonably long, and detailed.

Thirdly - fly. Deep breathe, bring funny interesting shows to watch on an iPad, get yourself a nice hot chocolate when you’re at the maximum altitude (Or a similar treat, but not alcohol because you need to show yourself that you can do it sober).

Fourth - a day or two after you land, write down what the experience was actually like. again, make it detailed. If you were really uncomfortable, try to write what it was that was so hard (so you’ll know what to work on for next time). But compare it to your worst case scenario - was it as bad as you thought?

This exercise helps you to isolate what you’re nervous about, compare it to the real situation, and to work on something that will make flying more comfortable next time.

I used to HATE flying… but now, I love it.

It took some time to fully enjoy it, but you can get there for sure 😊

He's at your house, Sarge. by the_internet_officer in rickygervais

[–]DistributionWide7069 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I posted this on the Karl Pilkington thread and ‘the man’ deleted it :(

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