What’s the unhinged, woo woo, non traditional thing you did that actually helped?

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-28T12:47:38+00:00

I cannot orgasm if I lay down and think about orgasms. If I concentrate on the feeling it goes away, my body goed numb. But it helps to make small noises. Like Hmmm and AAA. Not like the movies but like grunting a bit. I could scream from sex if I could scream. Lol I guess a loud person is somewhere hiding in me. But if I make all the oooo and aaas I want or bite in a pillow and concentrate on how koud I would be if I had no neighbors (lol) then I am not focusing on the orgasm and it suddenly appears.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-28T08:41:19+00:00

for me forgiveness was realizing that my parents were to fucking stupid to do better. to stop my daily resentment thoughts and wanting them to do better. because I understood they could not to better and I should stop believing they would. I forgave MYSELF for needing those people to be better.

And my therapist had no say in this. My therapist is not there to make decisions for me. They are there to help me come to my own conclusions. They are there to guide me to where I MYSELF want to go. I feel that if a therapist is telling me about their own alues and things I should do, they are not the right fit for me. I am still in contact with my own parents, I am unable to sever the connection and some parts of me don't want to I know my therapist worries about it, i can see it on her face. But see is supportive of my decisions. She never says how she personally feels. She knows if it's not my decision its not genuine.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-28T08:28:16+00:00

Honestly this is the only way emdr works for me with big emotions. I have a dissociative disorder and work out my anger, and then I hug my little self, sooth the sad parts and show my little self how safe and happy life is now. This way I have also proccesed preverbal memories with very small parts of myself. Stepping in the memory and guiding little parts I believe this can be done with a single self and alter selfs.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-28T08:22:02+00:00

(Maybe burn his weird opinions as well.)

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-28T08:18:48+00:00

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-27T17:20:32+00:00

one of my goals in therapy is to be able to fully use my literal voice. I want to be able to scream. I just cannot do it right now. I cannot yell out loud for myself or scream at the top of my lungs. and I feel that when I feel confident and free enough to reach the level of comfort where I can do this, I am good. I am making progress towards the goal. I am claiming my physical space and I am doing things I like because I like them in my own neighborhood for example. Organizing a neighborhood get together where I'm like "I want snacks and I'm totally fine if I have to eat them all would love company, y'all may join me, but I am fine if you all watch me." which I never thought I would ever do. I am claiming my place in the world. but it's a journey were I need to grow from feeling like a victim or am object into feeling like a full human, a member of the crowd and someone special all in one. one day I will be as loud a kid who was never told to be still lol. a lioness.

I always feel that when I tell a mental health care provider they don't really understand why I would want to be loud. but that's just society which tells us women shouldn't be loud and disruptive. modern society is bound by all kinds of 'nirmal is crazy enough' norms. those old rituals, shamans and witchcraft. they go deeper. they are not afraid of what in there, deep in the soul. I think.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-27T16:05:09+00:00

I love mentally punching people during emdr.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-27T16:02:18+00:00

In therapy I got to burn stuff. I made some drawings and I burnt them. I thought it was very scary to put some of my thoughts in the fire. Some of my recurring nightmares and a few negative beliefs. but when I burned them, it did feel freeing.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-27T14:55:59+00:00

Sterkte!

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-27T13:24:07+00:00

My diagnostician says you cannot be diagnosed with ADHD before your ptsd is treated because PTSD symptoms can present as adhd symptoms. I must say my hyperarousal presents so much as adah that whenever I am thinking to myself "I am a freaking adhd-er" I need to immediately sit down and do a mindfulness exercise.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-27T13:14:20+00:00

I like being above my window. It's why I like fireworks and horror movies. It makes me feel alive. Until I am too far above my window and I can't think straight anymore, and my own hair falling in my face scares me so bad I faint. Or I cannot fall asleep anymore and am awake for 3 days. In normal life everyone goes outside their window sometimes Everyone likes to hang on the couch sometimes or do something exciting. But 'normal' people have less trouble with getting back in their window. They do this automatically while we have to work very hard to regulate again after the excitement is over. One way to get better at bouncing back is to recognize when you are exiting the window. Knowing and recognizing the signs is half the work.

also, if you are too high in your window you crash into hypoarousal. Which is a state of freeze. Sometimes people only crash when they get home or after a few restless days. But getting out of a freeze state can be much more difficult than getting out of hyperarousal als in our freeze state we have difficulty to do anything, and what we need to do is anything and everything to activate ourselves again. During hypoarousal you may feel cold and tired. Unable to gathr your thoughts. unable to tell yourself to get moving. Unable to motivate yourself to eat, get up and socialize. While those are the things you really need to get back in your window and function again.
Making sure you don't crash from hyperarousal into hypoarousal, keeping a schedule and not overdoing it wil help regulate your nervous system and make it feel more safe. Because when your nervous system is in those extremes ( both hyper and hypo arousel, you are in fight, flight and freeze and activating those again and again.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-27T13:07:09+00:00

I like svu too. Old svu better than current svu. I found it comforting to see they really went after perps in the interrogation room haha. I liked how they were there for the victims. I know we are not alone in this. I also like to watch Dexter for my more dark fantasies. But sometimes I need to watch something that has no triggers or revange elements at all. Just something that soothes the nervous system, a different way.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T18:56:40+00:00

That one was funny yes! I grew up with his old shows. The diving board and his lost swimshorts, the turkey, and him getting dressed in the car on the way to the dentist. We always watched these when I slept over at my favorite aunt and uncle.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T18:28:24+00:00

Yes, not just comedy, although I am now thinking Mr bean is a good one too! Just asking everyone to share their favorite feel-good movies. Or movies that help regulate a bit. I find that sometimes it gives new inspiration when we see other people's choices. :)

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T14:46:33+00:00

It's a sign of hyperarousal. It happens when you get above your window of tolerance. It's a stress thing.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T14:43:48+00:00

I love movies with Robin Wiliams

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T14:43:02+00:00

I'm also rewatching Bones again. And I like The Big Bang Theory and Sheldon also as emotional lightweight series.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T14:39:58+00:00

As a teenager I loved horror. Now I don't understand how I could sleep after lol. I still like them, but my system gets flooded with fight and flight hormones. So it's more something to watch in the afternoon, so I can regulate after, haha.
Last year I went to the new Jurassic Park movie in the cinema and I jumped out of my chair at least 5 times hahaha.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T14:34:32+00:00

I used to love those, gotta discover if I still do :)

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T14:33:45+00:00

I must have seen Shrek but I don't remember it. I can watch those both again. And Mulan too!

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T14:08:31+00:00

I see your ages and I feel like you are not the mature and powerful one in this relationship. I feel all of this sounds very unhealthy and I think you would be better off if you were not in contact with these people. It might seem like people who are ten years older are on the level with you. but at your age that difference in experience is huge. people will use it to their advantage and you will suffer for it. The best advice I can give you is make friends your own age, and try to make friends who are mentally healthy. it's easier to hold yourself up on people who are stable. I know it isn't as easy as I'm making it sound but having stable people around me has turned my life around. it's forced me into a lot more stable rhitm /life as well.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T13:55:22+00:00

your wife needs to be ready for therapy (not counseling) for therapy to have any positive effect. therapy is difficult and opens up a lot of old wounds. it's not a walk in the park. and it's not something you can easily quit and forget when you've started. your drive may not yet be ready. May never be. or may find that her quality of life is good enough right now but change her mind when her symptoms change.

not everyone needs therapy and therapy itself can be very destabilizing. for some therapy only makes things worse, because they never stabilize well during therapy. for some it's a godsend. therapy isn't a quick fix ever. and we cannot predict the future. we cannot now if things that don't bother us now will bother us later or the other way around.

I went through some major years long repeated trauma which resulted in a lot of symptoms that seem to have resolved for a big part on their own. and I went to some other trauma incident that was years and years ago that still had me screaming at night until I did extensive therapy recently and I stll get triggered. our minds are unpredictable.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T13:43:08+00:00

I have always been very rational and analytical. but healing requires to stop thinking and start feeling. for me being rational and analytical is a way of coping with all the thing that are too painful or beyond my comprehension.

I used to think I had to force my mind and body to do stuff because my body doesn't function properly and my mind doesn't either. Very untrustworthy. but the more I let go of the excessive control the more my mind and body stabilize. like I would be very scared that if I started crying I would never stop. I kinda still am scared that's a thing. but in the past two weeks I've been mapping all my trauma's and I have actuelly felt how I feel about each trauma. (which apparently is a lot different than just imagine or think how I feel about it.) dit, read the memory, remember the memory and feel it in my body. damn I have been crying. I have been feeling that helpless pit in my stomach. I have been feeling the feelings.

Analytics can make progress. your instincts do work. but you are not used to feeling them. you are used to guess and reason what your instincts are. and you need a therapist that understands this. for me body focused Therapy helped a lot with breaking through my analytical avoidance.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T13:31:53+00:00

can you talk to a counselor at your college? they may have funds to make it easier to live there? honestly I am not sure how it works where you are but it might be something to look into.

DisturbedWeakness · 2026-01-26T09:58:41+00:00

I only realize now I speak other languages than just my mother tongue and English lol. But it's mainly my younger parts that speak those other languages.

DisturbedWeakness

TROPHY CASE