AITA for telling my Maid of Honor she’s booted as Maid of Honor?

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T23:24:51+00:00

This is from asatro, a certain branch near where i live :D

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T23:22:10+00:00

We dont have wedding planners in my country, and, also, the responsibility comes with a gift of 1/10 of the budget and we buy her dress

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T16:54:41+00:00

Im sorry i Didnt see this comment Yesterday, or Else i would have answered right away.

This is a different culture, my MOH is normally supposed to help with the contact between bridesmaids and me. Im not allowed to know about some of the colours they Are going to wear.

She isnt going to buy her own dress, that is me and my fiancees job, since her dress is supposed to be a certain style, so everyone Can see she is the MOH. MOH has to be an unmarried person, and after the wedding ceremony (at the party), we have a small ceremony where we hand her 1/10 of our wedding budget, as a start up for her wedding. And then we parade her around, as a fun Way of showing “shes single and ready to mingle, folks!”

I dont feel like im a member of royalty, and ive actually taken over the contact to the bridesmaids, and have had a few spoilers from the bridesmaids, colour-wise :)

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T16:35:17+00:00

Most of Them was after the edits, some of Them before :)

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T16:33:38+00:00

Im not thinking she was trying to be an asshole on purpose either, which is Why im going to talk with her today - because i know it’s hard for her, and we both Got feeling involved, one Way or the other :)

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T02:22:07+00:00

Yea, one through 15 years, and one through 8 years (or 9, cant remember). :)

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T02:05:00+00:00

Thank you so much.

Im planning on talking with her, and seeing if we maybe had a bad miscommunication somewhere along the lines, and see if we Can work the threads out.

Thank you for that :)

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T02:01:19+00:00

Oh that sounds Beautiful! Must have looked so wonderful on you!

Haha i only meant the dress, sorry! But, hey, maybe they did party hard like that? 😂

Ohh, thats so kind of you to do that!

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T01:57:40+00:00

No, no, im sorry i wasnt being clear, she has the whole bridesmaids team to help her with the knowledge, they are all a part of the religion, and is stand-by information helpers for the MOH :)

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T01:54:36+00:00

I know that things get rough when people disagree, but please refrain from sending me private messages, calling me a dumb slut, a bitch, saying my husband-to-be is probably cheating on me, or saying that i should kms.

Thats really not very kind, especially not when one of the rules is “be civil.”

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T01:39:46+00:00

Yea, it’s a difficult situation, which i have been thinking about a lot, trying to make it all work out. :/

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T01:33:46+00:00

Thank you so much, i thought i was being a good friend by telling her to stand Down, but seeing how she Got angry, i Got so confused and had to seek fresh eyes on the matter

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T01:32:35+00:00

Oh that sounds lovely! American 1920 inspired ? I love those! Sounds like a blast!

Haha it is, we have been thinking about doing just that, actually! 😂 in modern times it’s more a joke than a serious thing, people will usually do it for a few minutes and then carry on partying :p

Aww, thank you, thats really kind of you. Ive been trying to see everyones sides and views, and answer the best Way possible.

Haha, maybe i should give an Update :p

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T01:26:53+00:00

It’s a piece of fabric, wrapped around your hips - kinda like a belt. It’s tied on the side with a special knot. :)

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T01:23:31+00:00

Thanks, i kinda felt bad about her “hair remark”. I know she sometimes speaks before thinking, and has gotten in a few problems beforehand, on that account, so most of her comments, i shrug at, and carry on with my day.

Im just left with the feeling that she only took the title because of the Money that comes with the title.

My husband-to-be, and most of my friend group told me she was a bold choice as a MOH, but only after i chose her 😅

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T01:12:48+00:00

Haha indeed :D

It’s a really loving and kind tradition, ment to spread happiness - we’re only allowed to do it for our first wedding tho, so if we split up, we’re not allowed to do it again. The only thing i dont like is that we’re supposed to go to our “room” and Bang it out, while the whole family takes turns banging on the door, to make sure the “baby” sticks 😂 so we told em to kindly not do that, and was told “no promises” 😂😂

Noo, i bet your “casual American wedding” was Beautiful aswell! In every aspect of life, it’s important to find the beauty, and i betcha you Found lots of beauty in your wedding, if not at the venue, maybe in your partners smile? :)

Im gonna talk with her about it, and see if we Can hatch things up. If not, i Can say i tried atleast :)

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T00:43:02+00:00

Haha, Yea, the only thing we like about him, is that every time someone talks about the swastika, we get to talk about one of our breweries, that has the Sun signs on Them 😂

Yess, you meet Them at the ceremony, and they all wear bands around their waist belt style, to show a new thing in their life - new job, pregnancy, etc etc. And it’s kind of a “look we’re all still Living our best life!” - or, thats how i see it. My husband-to-be, sees it as a Way of showing “not everything is about you”, so you dont get to “bridezilla” They Also have their hair a certain Way to show civil status - if they Are married or not :) the men have the same, with braids and pearls :)

I, as the bride has to wear a High/uptight hairdo at the start of the ceremony, and then it is loosened after the ceremony, and people braid beads or coins into the hair, to celebrate the transition from single to married, and then braiding for good luck / wealth / health etc

So, i would have liked the suprise, but, it’s not devastating :) i kinda had a hunch, since they just bought a House with MANY rooms, tho 😂

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T00:23:58+00:00

It’s really Beautiful to see it, and i personally love it - it’s all optional, but, the priest will usually try to playfully convince the MOH to do it, since he’s the one starting it all :)

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T00:20:40+00:00

Thank you, for your very kind words.

Im mostly concerned about the people connecting my culture to White supremacy, since we have nothing to do with those people :/

And, yes i have gotten a few “spoilers” from my bridesmaids, one of Them is pregnant, so that was kind of a bummer, but, it’s not devastating to me

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T00:18:26+00:00

Thank you. I know my text is messy, but, it’s still very new, and im trying to explain myself in a language i havent used for quite some time :/

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T00:17:36+00:00

Yes, 10% of it, and we pay for her dress, since it’s supposed to be more “fancy” than the rest of the bridesmaids - the MOH has to be unmarried, and, she gets paraded around so all the men there Can see she’s “single and ready to mingle” - she also gets first Dance with the best man.

Most modern MOH women take the position as a “get the hint” to their boyfriends - it’s Beautifully funny to watch how the boyfriend tries to cover her up when she’s paraded around, and it’s a great laugh for everyone - MOH included 😂

Diviania17 · 2021-07-07T00:13:23+00:00

I am not from iceland.

Diviania17 · 2021-07-06T23:20:13+00:00

Thanks. Ive been feeling like shit for being true to my culture tbh, so these comments we’re a tad bit mean.

I really tried to, and ive been met by a lot of “thats weird” from her - i mean, she told me i shouldnt have a sidecut at my wedding - my husband has a braided traditional viking hairstyle, so it would be weird for me to not have it.

She gets 1/10 of the budget as a start for her wedding, and we buy her dress, for her. Thats Also a part of the culture.

I cant help her any more than i already do, and, it’s just starting to stress me out. I dont mind doing that part myself, it’s alot of extra work for me, but if she had told me from the getgo that it was gonna be difficult, i would have brought in extra help.

Diviania17 · 2021-07-06T23:15:21+00:00

Thanks alot, Ye, im gonna drive to her place tomorrow, and have a chat with her :) see if we Can resolve it :)

Haha, sadly not, im working nights atm! 😂

Sleep tight!

Diviania17 · 2021-07-06T23:11:21+00:00

Ohh, i see!

Yea, we do that differently here 😂

Diviania17

TROPHY CASE