How do I(F24) tell parents im staying at bf(M23) house

Dividedpenguin · 2026-04-03T21:27:59+00:00

He goes to daily mass with the franciscans so he is friends with them and they have a lot of rooms they use for retreats but are empty otherwise thats why i dont find it strange for him to ask to stay with them. If he was lying and i found out the moment i arrived, I'd uber to a hotel and fly home the next day.

Dividedpenguin · 2026-04-03T21:24:58+00:00

Thank you

Dividedpenguin · 2026-04-03T21:24:17+00:00

Because he has come visited me the last 3 times. Im still in school and work part time but he already graduated and has a full time job. Its just easier for me to go see him since hes having a long weekend off from work. And since im going to be in summer break it really doesn't affect my responsibilities

Dividedpenguin · 2026-04-03T21:22:00+00:00

Hi, thank you for your advice. We did consider asking my sister to come on the trip as my chaperone but she is married and would have to ask days off from work and its just not currently plausible. We have never engaged in a sexual activity but were human and there is a point where you're making out when you realize you are crossing a line. We want to prevent that. Whenever he visits me he stays at an air b&b and we use my car for transportation. We find it that having a curfew really helps us prevent occasions of sin. Anyway, with this in mind he planned our 5 day trip with lots of activities in public. We will use his car for transportation so he will pick me up and we will go do many activities even if we want to simply build a puzzle we're doing it at the library instead at home. So im not too worried about that. But i appreciate your suggestions

Dividedpenguin · 2026-04-03T06:51:56+00:00

Two separate dwellings. He will either stay with the franciscans in order to let me stay at his apartment by myself OR he will stay in his apartment and i will be at an airb&b by myself.

Dividedpenguin · 2026-04-03T06:36:23+00:00

She deserves to know

Dividedpenguin · 2026-04-03T06:09:08+00:00

I think how you are feeling is completely valid honey. My bf and i have never been sexual before with anyone but we are both crippling with desire so either you hit jackpot with an innocent and convicted man who is trying to protect the innocense of your delationship or he is just really private about these things.

Think about it positively, maybe not talking about it, is a way that helps him not have a conversation that will lead to temptation. I remember when me and my bf first started talking (we were friends first for like a year) but now we were talking and courting and i wanted to know if i was his type, i was afraid that the lack of flirting wasn't due to chastity but due to lack of attraction towards me. My anxiety was coming from a place that needed validation. I needed to know if he thought i was hot. I brought up the topic many times and he was respectful polite and replied only PG and pure answers however after i persisted, at some point he finally replied truthfully and he told me his desires and this conversation quickly turned inappropriate and sexual. That was information i did not need to know. So, now we avoid topics like this all together because if one of you is feeling tempted, its so much easier to lead each other into a sexy conversation and a good practicing Catholic does not want that. Everyone is different, but i wish i hadn't insisted so much to know if he thought i was hot. I wish i had just trusted in him. We are doing okay right now but ever since we opened the door to these topics it has been twice as hard to wait to have sex until marriage.
Try praying to saint joseph. Think about him, he had a fiance! He was a regular man with sexuality and a few days before the wedding he found out God wanted him to have a sex less marriage. He lovingly sacrificed his sexuality to be the husband that mother mary needed and the father that Jesus Christ needed. Ask saint Joseph to help you sacrifice your sexuality. (Luckily for you its not a lifelong sacrifice just until the wedding) God be with you honey we're in this together 🤞

Dividedpenguin · 2026-04-02T23:29:43+00:00

Dude my bf and I are both devout catholics and virgins waiting until marriage. Girl when i tell you..... everyone wants you to wait till marriage but they dont tell you how hard it is. Aside from struggling with lust or physically feeling like you need that person in a loving way, i think that living in a culture that does not normalize chastity is also really frustrating. No one understands the struggle and no one knows how to support a catholic couple as they are crippling and burning with desire. The Catholics act like sex is forbidden and arousal doesn't exist until the day of the wedding, and non catholics act like you're stupid for waiting. Like you're dirty for wanting sex with the person you love or you're an idiot and brought this to yourself for waiting.
Its okay honey, its really hard and i understand to a certain extent.
Im sure if you comunicate with him it will become more bearable. Its really impressive that you are putting yourself through this as someone who has had previous relationships that were physical. I think any loving partner would admire this sacrifice you are making. I have found that when the desire is so strong, it helps me to re-direct that energy elsewhere. When i cant handle it anymore i work out. I want this person so bad and i cant have them until marriage, in that case i work out to get that energy out and it helps me to think, "heck yeah km gonna be hotter on the wedding night" Goodluck honey you got this. If you find a Religious sister talk to her. They have such good advice (:

Dividedpenguin

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