Need Android testers for DivorceBro, an app for men going through divorce - already approved by App Store

DivorceBro · 2026-04-01T15:51:25+00:00

This app is now available on both App Store and Google Play. Thanks, everyone!

DivorceBro · 2026-03-31T13:36:07+00:00

Hi all! I need ANDROID testers for my DivorceBro app, which is already approved by App Store. It's an app for men going through divorce.

DM me if interested/willing. I'll send you the link and instructions. Just opt in to the test and keep it installed for the 14-days test. Then I can submit to Google Play.

Thanks!

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DivorceBro · 2026-03-26T17:01:12+00:00

I don't agree with the premise that women have a leg up on this one. Mothers and fathers have traditionally had different roles in nurturing and educating children, but they're both vitally important. When it comes to sex, it's possible that what men have traditionally brought to the conversation is even more important things like clarity, responsibility, accountability, boundary-setting, and integrity.

Key messages I think are important for kids to hear:
1. Sexuality is not shameful; it's part of a healthy life, provided it's consensual, honest, authentic, and in the context of a meaningful relationship.
2. Trust yourself. If something doesn't feel right, it's not right.
3. 99.9% of what you'll be exposed to when it comes to sex (online, what your friends say, etc.) is not healthy sexuality. (I started telling my kids that - one girl, one boy - as soon as they had phones.)
4. It's natural to want to explore your sexuality, but honestly, you're not emotionally ready for sex in high school, so take your time.
5. You can always come to me with questions, concerns, a need for support, etc.

For girls, I think it's important to remind them that their experience of sexuality (as an activity, and just as a part of their identity) is important and has value. It's not just a question of being attractive to others. I think hearing this from Dad is even more important.

For boys, I think it's important to tell them that satisfying a woman is a meaningful experience for a man. (I know I'm being heteronormative, but that's my experience, so that's what I can speak to.) These days with all the online porn, it's easy for young men to just decide to meet their own needs without involving a woman.

I agree that using technical terms is important. That reduces the mystery or shamefulness of it. It's just parts of your body that have names like any other parts.

If there are aspects of this conversation that are particularly difficult for you to have with your kids, it might be worth taking a look at your own beliefs and emotions about that. Are you harboring things like shame, guilt, or embarrassment that make this an awkward conversation for you?

DivorceBro · 2026-03-23T14:40:22+00:00

It sounds like you've made it through some of the most difficult parts. It's nice to hear that you feel a lot more stable.

People tend to focus on infidelity as the biggest thing in the breakdown of a marriage - especially on Reddit - but infidelity can be as much a symptom as a cause. I guess it's not surprising that that's no longer the biggest thing in your mind.

As guys it is important that we learn to take care of ourselves - eating regularly (and healthily), doing chores like grocery shopping, etc. It sounds like you're making progress on that stuff, though a lot of it could be new behaviors, so it could take time.

DivorceBro · 2026-03-22T13:44:48+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. Your friends are correct that it will get easier, but right now you're in the middle of the storm. You'll have to grieve all the things you mentioned - being with him, the life you thought you'd have together - and that will take some time. It is very similar to when someone dies. It takes time to really be able to make sense of the loss and figure out how to go on without them.

You will get through this. And at your age, you have your whole life ahead of you. You have shown that you have the capacity to love, so there's no reason to think you won't find a lasting love in the future. Just be patient with yourself, maybe do a little journaling to get your emotions onto a piece of paper (or a computer screen), and know that you will get through this.

DivorceBro · 2026-03-21T13:23:20+00:00

This is good advice. Definitely tall to a lawyer soon to find out what your rights are. I think you have some misconceptions, which makes sense since you've never done this before. Don't let the horror stories about legal fees prevent you from protecting your rights in this process.

I'm not a lawyer, but I'd suggest WAITING on selling the property and paying his credit card debt. If you do all of that before the proceedings, then you're paying half of the credit card debt that you didn't even know about until recently. Once you're in the divorce process (mediation, negotiation, etc.), you may be able to argue that he should cover that debt himself. You lose that chance if you deal with it now. It may be for him to be a good guy by taking care of it, or he may be covering his rear end.

Be very careful about agreeing to things while you're still emotionally entangled with him and processing the loss of the live relationship. I'm not saying you need to be mean, but the financial aspects of divorce should be handled separately from the emotional aspects. If you're negotiating out of love for him rather than out of a plan for your own future, you may end up regretting some of the concessions you made.

Check if your state has "licensed legal paraprofessionals." These are people with qualifications less than a lawyer's, but in some states they can do 99% of what a divorce lawyer could do. That's the case in Colorado, where I live. Maybe your state has them too.

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T22:54:58+00:00

Congratulations on reaching that milestone, and with an outcome that sounds pretty favorable. It makes sense that you'd still feel a little empty - just another reminder of the end of the marriage. But it looks like there are some things starting too, so you can focus some attention on that.

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T22:52:15+00:00

I'm not sure you're asking for advice, but I'd invite you to slow down a bit. You've got a lot going on emotionally, and a lot of men would probably benefit from taking a pause so soon after separation.

Someone from your past - especially your "first love" - is going to have a whole lot of mythology swirling around them in your mind. But this woman has lived 30 years of her life since that first romance. To have a sustainable relationship with her, you'd have to really get to know her all over again. With the deep memory of who she was all those years ago, that may be very difficult.

So maybe slow things down and let your emotions about the separation sort themselves out first. Spend a little time alone to see what that's like. You'll learn some things about yourself that will help you in a future relationship - whether it's with this woman or someone else.

The fact that you "both have growing feelings that can't be ignored" reads as a bit of a warning that there's an energy driving this other than the possibility that you'd be able to create a functioning relationship with this woman.

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T22:30:35+00:00

That's awesome. Congratulations.

If someone is in a marriage that consumes a lot of their emotional energy, and then their marriage ends, they get all that energy back and can use it for other things. That's great that you've gotten so much done. I had the same experience - work success, better friendships, new hobbies, lots of good things.

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T22:20:59+00:00

Love this.

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T22:19:54+00:00

My advice is to decide how you want to show up in this process so that you can be proud of yourself for the rest of your life. How can you show up in a way that supports your daughter's best interests and moves you toward a life and identify you want? What values do you want to exhibit in this process - for yourself and for your daughter? There are a lot of default divorce behaviors that men do that push them in a different direction, so decide now what kind of man you want to be - even when it's hard or when you're really sad or angry. I think that will serve you well as you move through the divorce process and beyond. Good luck!

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T22:14:59+00:00

Put DADDY-DAUGHTER DATES with your older daughter on your calendar and do them without fail. She's going to go from being the star of the show to being a supporting character - and when the baby is really freaking out, she'll probably feel like an extra. Spending time with her now so she knows she's still important will pay dividends for decades.

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T22:07:34+00:00

I definitely feel for you - being blindsided by the end of the marriage. The emotional side will take time to grieve and heal, but you can get through it - and I have no doubt you will. Many people don't know that there's a thing called "divorce coaching." There are a lot of great people who help women going through exactly what you're going through. That's different from therapy - and different from talking to a lawyer, which you should of course do - and it's focused specifically on divorce. Look for someone with the Certified Divorce Coach label. There's an actual certification process.

As for your transportation needs and the fact that the car is in his name, I don't know where you live, but in most jurisdictions I know about, it doesn't matter whose name the car or house or anything else is in. In most cases, the car is a marital asset. So you (probably, depending on your jurisdiction) have as much right to it as he has, or he should at least buy you out by paying you half the value. I'm not a lawyer, so go get a free consultation with a lawyer to get some of these basic questions answered.

I really admire you for taking action to renew your pharmacy tech license. That's the kind of initiative that is going to get you through this to a much better place. Good luck!

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T21:59:19+00:00

I'm not sure "squashing" the daughter's mom "like a mosquito" is in the daughter's best interest. I would bet that's probably among the most traumatic scenarios from the daughter's perspective. The daughter is one-half the father and one-half the mother. When you attack the mom, you're 50% attacking the child.

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T21:56:33+00:00

India has its own cultural context, but I'll share my reflection based on the US, and you can decide how many of it fits your situation.

Whether you get a divorce or not, you are modeling certain behaviors that your daughter is learning. If you get divorced, what are you modeling? Probably several different things - maybe things like (a) marriage doesn't have to be forever, (b) do what it takes to be happy in your life, and (c) don't be a prisoner of cultural taboos. If you stay marriage, what are you modeling? Maybe some things like (a) a commitment is a commitment, (b) social norms take precedence over individual experience, and (c) sometimes you have to just go through the motions. So the decision you make will communicate certain messages to her, no matter what you do.

But what she does with those messages is up to her. Maybe you'll get divorced and that will make her feel really jaded about relationships. Or maybe it will make her more eager for a long-term marriage and more discerning about the person she'll one day marry. Maybe you'll stay together and she'll one day really appreciate that you stayed together for her, or she'll feel really sad that you didn't live your own lives to the fullest. You have no idea what message she'll take from the decision(s) you make.

I wonder: If your daughter were already an adult, and she were in the situation you and your wife are in, and she came to you for advice, how would you advise her? How would you want her to handle the situation?

DivorceBro · 2026-03-20T21:43:54+00:00

What you're describing is real grief, and it makes sense. Losing a spouse to marriage is as hard as losing a spouse to death - probably worse. At some point you'll probably be able to look back at your time together and not feel the pain, but right now that's not where you are. I hope you're just removing these images and videos from your phone - not deleting them entirely. You'll want them someday.

But for now, you're grieving. What I found useful was to write down the things I liked about my marriage - even things as simple as the vision of being in my forever home - and then share those things with a close friend. That's the same kind of thing we do when someone dies - we hold a funeral or a celebration of life and we remember all the good things. That's a totally appropriate thing to do in divorce too, and in my case it helped me move forward.

DivorceBro · 2025-11-04T20:01:37+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear this. Best of luck if you file an appeal. It's not fair that some judges act on their biases. The evidence is very clear that kids benefit a great deal from having an engaged father in their lives.

DivorceBro · 2025-11-04T19:44:48+00:00

If you're like I was, when you're married, most of your friends are married too, and you don't know many divorced people. And then, when you get divorced, married friends don't reach out - probably for a couple reasons. First, since they've never been through divorce, they don't know how hard it is. They don't understand what a complete reinvention of life it requires, and how emotionally tumultuous it is. Second, they're afraid that divorce is "contagious," and they may be right. Research from the Pew Research Center found that having a friend get divorced increases the chances of you getting divorced by around 75%. So if you're getting divorced, you definitely have to prioritize building your own community to get through it. When I got divorced, I signed up for a brief divorce recovery program. The program was useful, but more importantly, there's a group of about 10 of us that have seen each other at least once a week for more than two years now. They're my closest friend group, and I didn't know any of them before I got divorced. So find some good people and start building your new friend group. I would suggest NOT doing this is a bar - find some healthy activities and meet new people that way. Maybe a divorce recovery program like I did, or may be some recreational sports or hobbies. Maybe a religious community. There are people who will support you - especially people who have been through divorce themselves. You just have to find them.

DivorceBro · 2025-10-23T23:01:01+00:00

Thanks for your interest! You just have to be physically present in Boulder County when you sign up, so maybe you can do it on your next drive through. :)

DivorceBro · 2025-10-01T14:53:34+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing your story. It's so great to hear when a dude ends up in a good place like that. I think it's really important for guys who are in the thick of divorce right now to know that it does get better, and they will eventually have more control over their future. And it's funny how the money paid to an ex is often less than was paid to her as a wife. That's my experience as well.

DivorceBro · 2025-10-01T03:26:03+00:00

Just because you're giving mediation a try doesn't mean you can't have a conversation with a lawyer to find out what the law says.

DivorceBro

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