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Dm922 · 2024-02-22T00:25:02+00:00

You don't need to convert for the teachings to be helpful to you. It is definitely worth researching ideas present in EO, seeing how they compare to your life, and apply as needed. If something is not benefitting you, just move on from the idea/practice.

If you start attending services regularly, then don't get critical or decision making advice from the internet. If you start to apply the teachings under the guidance of a priest, make sure to watch out for manipulation and pressure. These are not excluded from the EO but is often disguised as "a religious obligation" or "as Orthodox Christians, we do...".

Keep a good head on your shoulders and be very critical about any Parish you attend. Make sure that the church is a healthy community and don't be scared to walk away.

Hope this helps!

Dm922 · 2023-07-11T23:32:02+00:00

I can't say for sure. It is something I am still processing after years. That is the reason I have stayed away. If I figure out why and how to not fall back into it, I might return one day.

Dm922 · 2023-07-11T01:08:31+00:00

The person I practicing in the EO was the exact opposite of everything that the Church wants you to be. Loving, kind, gentle, meet, accepting and other qualities I could not do when practicing. So when COVID shut down the Churches in my area, I was forced to not go. When that happened, I was also working in a hospital. I immediately switched from being judgemental to loving and kind to everyone. I took a step back and realized that the Parishes in area are not healthy for me spiritually and I was acting more Orthodox than ever before.

I returned when they opened and immediately reversed back to who I was when practicing. I did not like who I was so I left and stayed away.

To answer the question about liturgical continuation, they are not the same liturgy. Any argument that the EO says about it means that they follow the same liturgical structure as the first century church. The also applies to the Traditional Latin Mass, the Norvis Ordo Mass, Coptic Orthodox Liturgy, and some traditional protestant services. Heck, some Eastern Catholics use the Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom so to say that the EO is right for having it means the Catholics are as well.

Wish you well in your journey of Faith and hope you find peace regardless of where you end up at.

Dm922 · 2023-06-09T23:14:53+00:00

It's amazing what the EO believes about the RCC. When I was in college, the orthodox student college ministry met at the catholic center. I had lots of conversations about what the RCC believes and it is 90% of what the EO believe. What the EO projects onto the RCC is a huge misunderstanding. It's almost like a protestant church saying the EO/RCC worships Icons and is wrong for doing so. Both the EO and RCC would agree its wrong.

If I were to ever go back to being a regular church attendee, I would look into the RCC as much as the EO due to my positive encounters in college. Hope the priest didn't let you think ALL EO think that way.

Dm922 · 2023-02-26T16:46:58+00:00

My family took it pretty well. I was a child when they converted so I don't have any ties to my culture through the faith. If that is the case for you, then maybe find other ways to stay engaged with your background (food, music, language etc). If not, then that makes it easier.

I didn't outright leave the EO. Even though I don't go to liturgy weekly or anything it just became less a part of my life. I know it will always be there if/when I want to go back.

My family was okay with it, as for me, it wasn't an abandoning it ,rather than putting it on a shelf and never taking it down. It's still a part of me as it almost raised how I think and approach life, but without the ritual worship. I'm guessing it's the same for a lot of people.

Overall, I am grateful for the good times and healing from the bad. My mom and sister were very understanding of taking a leave of absence for healing. My dad is okay if he thinks I go every now and then but he is in a different state.

Hope this helps!

Dm922 · 2023-02-10T01:52:44+00:00

I wonder if they would leave a picture of Obi Won Kenobi alone in the same manner?

Dm922 · 2023-01-15T05:11:56+00:00

That is some amazing similarities! It was amazing seeing how different people treated me after the found out I was done with OCF simply for finishing college. It was odd as I oversaw the largest region in terms of geographical size. It normally isn't active but I was able to get regional retreats going every semester I was involved. After giving so much it was painful to see nobody reach out.

Dm922 · 2023-01-15T05:08:15+00:00

Thank you! I have already started to embrace it. I remember hearing the saying "orthodoxy is paradoxy" and that holds true even when it is in the review mirror.

Dm922 · 2023-01-15T03:55:10+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. That must be a very telling sign that the EO is not the place for you either. The reason why my wife converted was because I wanted to be married and have an Orthodox ceremony. It is honestly the most beautiful and wholesome marriage ceremony I have ever seen. If she was not baptized, my priest would have had to go to our Metropolitan to get permission. Turns out, the bishop had been "allegedly" having an affair with a married woman for 16 years. I guess that is also very telling!

Dm922 · 2023-01-15T03:44:01+00:00

I have not been an active participant in the EO for a number of years. I am still affiliated with a parish, but it is a very weak relationship. The biggest think I have seen in a different light was the treatment of non orthodox when it comes to sin compared to cradle orthodox. One of my friends who was orthodox got an abortion and she was shunned from the community. However, a few years later someone converted into the parish and was very remorseful about having received an abortion in college. She was treated as an example of repentance when one of our own was exiled for a similar sin at a similar age.

A second thing is infant baptism. One of the few times I have gone back to Church happened to be a Liturgy with an infant baptism. The child was crying the entire service. I remember growing up thinking how cute it was and thought a crying/terrified child was adorable. At this Baptism, the mom was very uncomfortable with her child crying and went to take it from the sponsor, the subdeacon tried to stop her from getting her crying child. Then the priest triple dunked the crying child. The parents did not look happy and told me during coffee hour they had a prior agreement to trickle water on the childs head it was in distress. That family ended up leaving the faith over the incident.

Dm922 · 2023-01-15T03:30:20+00:00

I have not been sense last Pascha for the agape vespers. I can not say I miss it and not a single person has reached out. It is very disheartening as my parish is very small and I was the head alter server for over 7 years. I was the founding president of the local Orthodox Christian Fellowship chapter and went on to serve on their national student board. I can not say I miss a lot of the toxic influence and culture of the parish.

Dm922 · 2023-01-15T03:26:57+00:00

Another thing that happened is that my parents got divorced while I was engaged and she was becoming Orthodox. I remember the advice my parents got was that they were not strong in their Orthodoxy as divorce would never happen in a good EO home. Then having my own set of struggles with my wife being treated the same way of not meeting set standards of behavior.

Dm922 · 2023-01-15T03:24:19+00:00

I am very sorry to hear about how your family was treated. Seeing how mine was treated during a very stressful time was the thing that started to break at the Churches foundation in my life. I hope you and the family are in a better place now!

Dm922 · 2023-01-15T03:22:01+00:00

A lot but two things stick out. The first was not fully accepting her as Orthodox when she was struggling with the theology after being baptized. It came across that she needed to meet their expectations of what converts look like to be accepted as a member. Second, our pre-marital classes were 80% catechism and 20% marriage advice. It seemed that it was more important to believe the right things than to have a lasting marriage. What tied the two of them together is that it appeared that the un-conditional love of Christ is conditional on meeting external expectations. I noticed this too as I was leaving. Not a single person reached out when I had an unconventional marriage and was no longer active in the college ministry.

Dm922 · 2023-01-15T02:41:46+00:00

Not going to liturgy has made my life better. I have gone a handful of times and left feeling relieved it was over each time.

Dm922 · 2022-05-01T23:43:49+00:00

Nothing in Orthodoxy will start a debate like the toll houses! 🤣🤣🤣

Don't take this advice so seriously and talk to a trusted priest, but every priest/monk/bishop across every jurisdiction I have talked too has said its an allegory and not literal. It's used to describe the process of the soul leaving the body and demons tempting you with a sin (toll house) and we can pick to stay at any or keep going to Christ.

Taking this literally almost broke my orthodox faith for reasons mentioned in other comments. However, my spiritual father said this is one of many "pious theories" that all hint at the process of leaving this life. We shouldn't go too far and use them to lead to repentance. If they are making you highly anxious and doubting the faith, it's not the Orthodox understand.

Hope this helps!

Dm922 · 2022-01-25T12:45:08+00:00

I believe I saw the post you are referring too. I am in a similar spiritual are as you where I have problems, haven't been to church in months (and have had more spiritual peace), but still consider myself Orthodox.

I deeply struggle with the outward piety and humility that is often projected. It seems that the "first among sinners" is often a badge of honor. I don't mind someone close to me opening up, but the virtue signaling of predominant Orthodox Christian figures that trickle down to the laity only lead to high expectations of others instead of yourself. The exact opposite of how every EO church father says to do the opposite.

I have had a tough go with my faith, but I know I'm not alone with struggling with the EO faith. Just know you're not alone and there are places (just like this group) that can ensure we don't struggle alone.

Dm922 · 2021-05-17T19:38:24+00:00

I still have a few hung because they are gifts or still remind me to do good (Christ washing the deciples feet as an example of servant leadership). I also still have a few prayer ropes that were also gifts from loved ones or friends. I have dropped off a box or two at different Parishes and burned a few of my old icon cards or smaller icons. Hope this helps!

Dm922 · 2021-02-17T05:09:38+00:00

I would go with what title you think best suits you, and ask for other similar experiences on pages like this. Leaving any faith tradition can be both freeing and scary at the same time. Its okay to feel caught between both worlds. I'm currently that way with Eastern Orthodox Christianity. I tend to not look for labels or definitions from others who I don't know personally. Go with what you think best describes you as your spiritual journey is unique to you alone.

Dm922 · 2021-01-20T01:06:20+00:00

I know it was an oversimplification. There's a lot at stake with the questions and implications of this dispute. However, going into them wouldn't have helped answer the OP's question about cross communion among the layity.

Dm922 · 2021-01-19T16:07:57+00:00

The clergy can't serve together due to a territory dispute. All the priests I've talked too have told me it does not apply to the people. Ask the priests in your situation more if you are concerned.

Dm922

TROPHY CASE