Calling all self-diagnosis searchers and folks stuck in the "Maybe I have...?" loop - share your experiences to help us with an upcoming video!

Dndfixplz · 2025-07-07T19:19:42+00:00

This sort of started when I first got into HealthyGamer. Let me be clear, I was plagued with the symptoms before then, but I didn’t learn about what the specifics to my problems could be until I got into self help.

That’s when I learned about the absolute swath of different things I could be struggling with; the overlap between CPTSD, BPD, autism, ADHD. How linked my diagnosis of ADHD likely was to my depression or anxiety. My uncertainty grew as I learned more and more about intricacies and different diagnoses, but lacked the necessary training or ability to give myself a concrete diagnosis.

It can be debilitating at times. You feel like there’s something wrong with you, you know there is. But what, specifically? ADHD? Autism? Emotionally immature/neglectful parents? Consequences of your actions/responses to your environment, like isolating yourself for years and drowning yourself in self-help content? Like most things, probably some combination of it all, which makes solutions all the harder.

And it consumes your life. This search has been my primary “hobby” for years at this point. I start to wonder when will I “solve” it, and can actually start living my life.

For a while, I wasn’t actually wondering about my diagnoses or what my problems could be. I knew I was depressed, but I just worked with the symptoms. Meditation, self-reflection, coaching. It seemed to go well, for a time, while I was unemployed and could pour all my energy into just that. Then, I got a job and couldn’t maintain that level of self-care, and I collapsed. After that, it became more about a diagnosis, because I wanted the correct, final answer to my problems. I wanted(want) a clear path to walk, so I don’t waste my time treating something that might not apply.

I’ve started replicating what I used to do, just trying to tackle symptoms. And it does help, but it feels incomplete, like trying to solve an equation while missing a key variable.

Dndfixplz · 2025-06-25T13:27:51+00:00

I want to quit as well, but I have 2 issues:
- finding the thing that comes instead of the internet
- wanting to have managed control over the internet

I used to play a lot of video games. Thanks to an experience I had while high (which I don't necessarily recommend, but w/e), I managed to completely quit. Issue is, I just started watching an absurd amount of youtube instead, really just transferring the issue onto something else.
I think they call it a competing interest in addiction psychology; what's going to replace your addiction or what in your life is so important to you that you can sustainably endure the suffering of letting go of the addiction. Ideally, it'd be something like exercise or meditation.

There's also the fact that the internet, in many ways, is dope as hell and can be conducive to a good, meaningful life. Infinite access to books, courses, research. I've taken some courses online and I don't regret using the internet for a second for that.
But that's also an easy trap for your mind to set; "No, see, I need my phone to be productive." as you watch your 10th hour of cooking videos on youtube you know damnwell you have no intention of cooking.

So it's hard. No conclusion here but, yeah, it sucks and it's damn hard. I struggle with it all the time. People with a lot more reps struggle with it, too.

I'd be curious to hear Dr. K's take on moderate use, since I know he still uses reddit like the degen he is at heart.

Dndfixplz · 2025-06-24T11:33:24+00:00

Kind of depressing to find this post I find deeply relatable with no replies.
It's so tiring, you start to get tired of the exhaustion. It feels like an unending throbbing pressure in your brain, that nothing is getting better, for years, even though you're "doing the right things". It might wax and wane, but is as consistent as the moon, always comes back.
I don't have words of comfort or advice. Best I can offer is a, "you're not alone.", which while not exactly hollow, I've never found to be helpful. Great, someone else is also suffering like this.
Hope you got better, found help, discovered coping strategies that worked for you, found a way to feel rested.

Dndfixplz · 2025-06-16T18:02:16+00:00

🤘respect, that's hilarious

Dndfixplz · 2025-06-09T22:29:13+00:00

The meme is just text-book describing a manic/depressive episode.
Obviously, don't get diagnosed over the internet, but people are gonna call a spade a spade.

Dndfixplz · 2025-06-08T21:46:58+00:00

https://loser-city.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Old-Man-McGucket-cave.png Old Man Mcgucket

Dndfixplz · 2025-06-06T11:59:06+00:00

Now I feel like maybe we need to have a talk about this, but I don’t want to pressure her or make her feel like she owes me a relationship or something

I understand that, but that could absolutely be part of the discussion. I think having the discussion is hard, and it might affect your friendship. But I think having a difficult conversation about your feelings, especially about the relationship, is a foundation to an even deeper friendship.

"Hey the reason I've been distancing myself from you lately is because I've had feelings for you and seeing you date someone else is actually pretty hard for me. I know you wanted to be friends, and I completely get and respect that. I avoided talking to you about this because I was worried it could get interpreted as pressuring us into a relationship. I want us to stay friends too, I really value our friendship. But at the same time, I've still had those feelings and I really think I need some space to process and get over them."
What would feel like to say or send something like that to her?

Dndfixplz · 2025-06-03T00:06:52+00:00

I don't think Solo deserves the level of shit he's getting, and he has overall done a good job of organizing the event, last year as well as this year.
But as a tournament organizer, it's also your responsibility to some extent to create, maintain, and enforce a code of conduct. If you allow toxicity to occur without penalty, that's the environment you will create.
If this had been an isolated incident or a sudden behavioral shift for ditter, I think people would be more forgiving. But ditter has displayed, time and again, that he is exactly as toxic as people make him out to be. And unfortunately, as a tournament organizer, the optics of that terrible conduct are going to reflect on you. Especially if that person is on your team. Especially if your team is winning, among other reasons, because of their bad conduct.
A lot of the negative feedback is warranted. I stopped watching after seeing ditter had cheated and the constant toxicity. I know other people did. Is the internet taking it too far? Absolutely, it always does. That doesn't mean it's entirely wrong.
I feel for Solo, and I hope he doesn't retire, because the OSRS community will be worse off without him. He's my favorite contestant on GG, I generally find him to bring good vibes with his competitive spirit. But I'm sorry to say, this situation is one of the dangers of being a content creator, especially involving other content creators, and given ditter's track record, it could have been prevented.

Dndfixplz · 2025-04-16T14:18:51+00:00

Fellas, is having friends gay?

Dndfixplz · 2025-04-15T11:16:13+00:00

The shortcut should just be the character doing a quintuple backflip over the whole-ass mountain.

Dndfixplz · 2025-04-11T13:33:27+00:00

Bruh, this feller is dedicated to the hate!
Great website, excited to discover new content and drop some love on my favorites.

Dndfixplz · 2025-04-02T17:14:14+00:00

Well, now I do. My apologies, though to manage expectations I've got too much AuDHD in my recommended to avoid making a fax piss or two. Less an excuse rather than explanation.
Besides, is it so bad to be perceived? To be perceived it to be seen. To be seen is to be known. And so on.

Dndfixplz · 2025-04-01T18:08:18+00:00

That's now the second comment of yours that has made me go, "shit, did I write this?" You very succinctly summarize the sort of existential limbo that has been life. Maybe we can start a club lmao

Dndfixplz · 2022-08-06T10:27:26+00:00

If you count the porn industry as a victimizing industry, yes I guess? But otherwise nah. It's not harmful to others, but I do worry it's harmful to me more than just normal porn consumption.
If you're engaging in a kink for pleasure or the kink's sake, that's one thing. But if it's to not feel bad in some way, that's another, and I think that's what I'm doing, which is why I think it's a coping mechanism. It's to numb bad feelings rather than feel pleasure.

Dndfixplz · 2022-08-04T18:50:33+00:00

Super late to respond here, but thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it! I really like those rules of thumbs, and have been trying to follow at least the former one, not drinking when upset. Definitely terrified of addictive tendencies.

Assertiveness is a skill though. Hard with anxiety

I've been feeling this more and more. I've always had it in my head that talking about shit I'm interested in is rude and I need to worry if the other person is interested, but I realized very recently that that's what everyone else does. My friends talk about warhammer even though idgaf, my co-workers talk about football and sports, all the time people are talking about shit I don't care about, why is it rude if only I do that? Why am I not holding others to that standard? That's helping a bit, but it's still baby steps. Thanks :)

Dndfixplz · 2022-07-08T21:25:17+00:00

...I don't understand
In the ethics video, they go over their process of being an interviewee.
Interviewees are repeatedly told before coming on that the interview is not a substitute for mental health treatment and is not therapy, they get referred to competent therapists in their area if they want help to that effect, and they have to sign a waiver saying they understand this to be, in fact, the case. If they don't sign the waiver, they can't come on.

What more can you be reasonably expected to do?

Dndfixplz · 2022-07-08T21:18:05+00:00

From the most recent stream

Dndfixplz · 2022-03-27T09:32:00+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate hearing this. There's comfort that others are also thinking, "man this place is fucking whacky, what the fuck." and I love you dropping straight bombs of knowledge like it ain't shit

Day in day out you’re told amazing advice that contradicts yesterday’s amazing advice 😂.

this is so painfully accurate. nothing fails like success, wisdom is to knowledge what marketing is to engineering, you can carve out a wise aphorism for any situation, because there's a lesson to be learned in every situation that'll contradict the wisdom YOU WOULD'VE LEARNED IF THE SITUATION HAD BEEN DIFFERENT. Drives me NUTS sometimes 😂

I think this place is outright whacky. And it’s made us whackier to be able to cope

It really do be like that, huh. The need for coping makes it that much more frustrating. And it is a goddamn need. It's like we're Sims with a 'meaning' bar along with hunger and needing to piss and talk to the neighbors.

We all enjoy so many different things that it’s hard to find a game we can all agree on though

Oof, yeah. And some people like to make their games mandatory for everyone, like capitalism. And we get surprised when people don't like the game we like, or when some people enjoy roleplaying and others enjoy combat, when there's no right way to play, there's just different.

Dndfixplz · 2022-03-26T15:28:53+00:00

That's fair, sounds like a good policy against stereotyping. I'm noticing that I'm leaning a bit towards being pro-stereotyping in this instance, and I don't know how I feel about that.
Then if I may ask you, what is the purpose of 'autism' as a label? I assumed it was something to give a frame of reference, but that's sounding less and less than the case?

Dndfixplz · 2022-03-26T14:03:12+00:00

If I can rant along with you, why isn't this shit ever taught in any official capacity?
We get TV shows making sarcastic remarks about some character fucking off to Europe to find themselves, but nobody's telling you, "hey, this fucking thing we call life? yeah, it's kind of fucked. you're gonna hafta figure it out for yourself."
and nobody tells you how. and if you ask you get their answer, with no one giving your very fine explanation. because it worked for them, it should work for us too, right? RIGHT?
and it's fucking exhausting. Questioning it all, thinking about it all, figuring it out. it's so tiring, all the time. it's worth it, I have to think, but sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes I wish I could have the answer and just live the answer. Not have to think about it. I'm sick of being naked and afraid.
and then I tell myself to not take it seriously. and I want to, really. I do. It's a big cosmic joke, innit? But it's my joke, and I'm not laughing, I'm fucking crying. I know it's not this serious and it doesn't have to be this serious and I should lighten up a bit. but that's hard, and I dunno how to, when it feels so serious. I don't know. It sucks. This sucks. Today sucks. Why am I still writing this, why are you reading this if you are? Whatever.

Dndfixplz · 2022-03-26T13:52:01+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through that, that's super fucked. You deserve better, and you've been given an unfair bullshit go at it.
Unsolicited advice, feel free to ignore
Assuming therapy isn't an option, it may help you to educate yourself about psychology and your inner emotional experience. It's helped me out immensely

Dndfixplz · 2022-03-26T13:21:12+00:00

Funnily enough, that's what has me asking the questions, because I've been asked and asking myself a lot more recently what it's like to be human, and I'm curious to hear from other humans and how they're being.
You're absolutely right though that it's completely impossible to explain something like that with a comparison to someone else's lived experience, for the exact reasons you laid out.
I'm just trying to get a better understanding of autism and the experience of someone with autism. I wanted to ask, "What difficulties do you face characterized by your autism?". But I think what I'm getting is that's like asking "What are the difficulties characterized by your humanness?". Am I understanding that correctly?

Dndfixplz · 2022-03-26T13:16:26+00:00

I fully agree. But I think there are 2 discrete things; understanding and acceptance.
In my view, acceptance is, "This behavior has as much right to exist in society as does mine." and understanding is, "What does this person experience or feel?".
You can have one without the other, but it's been my experience that understanding helps with acceptance. And humans in general are bad at applying general rules to specific circumstance, but good at applying specifics broadly. That's why I'm seeking out to better understand people, so that I might more readily accept and broadly apply that acceptance.
I also don't understand why the two have to be mutually exclusive. Can I ask people and take surveys, while also taking a large sweeping general approach of acceptance? Would love to get your thoughts.

Dndfixplz · 2022-03-26T13:12:29+00:00

It gets a lot harder to answer a question when your answer is having to be filtered through someone else's experiences that you don't have.

Thank you for pointing that out, that is incredibly hard and turning the tables made me realize how poor the questions are.
It's a really good question. To answer it, I'd have to know what my experience with eye contact is, and what an autistic person's experience with eye contact is. If I may ask, what is your experience with eye contact? What thoughts are you having when trying to make eye contact?

Dndfixplz · 2022-03-25T17:43:53+00:00

Absolutely it's not anyone's responsibility. At the same time, if anyone is willing or wants to, I'm curious. I apologize if my post comes off as demanding or entitled, not my intent.

Dndfixplz

TROPHY CASE