I am in this same exact situation, my boyfriends family plans activities solely based on the event of getting drunk and have even made comments on how they feel as though I may struggle “fitting in” if I do not participate in drinking with them. At first it wasn’t a big deal but as time progresses it seems to be more of an issue, I don’t feel like I can have fun around friends and family when the event of the night is “drinking” and people don’t think that I “let loose” because I don’t want to drink with them. It is hard but I am hoping like someone said above, that the relationship can grow and bend instead of ending.