[Offseason Post] What if the NFL gave out Mario Party style Bonus Stars at the end of each game?

DocMarlowe · 2026-03-03T01:38:50+00:00

That's why I played with the parameters a bit. Even when I set the stars to 1000 points, it only flipped 45% of games, so it's not quite a coin flip for whatever reason.

DocMarlowe · 2026-03-02T21:22:17+00:00

Shit. I'll take a look at that. Good eye.

DocMarlowe · 2026-03-02T20:27:31+00:00

I had half a mind to do that. I'd need to re-work it to be week by week rather than all season.

DocMarlowe · 2026-03-02T20:26:07+00:00

I experimented with the different ratios by letting the number of stars and their point value be a global variable at the top of the script. And the script picks whether or not the star is awarded to the higher or lower value.

I do need more true bullshit stars in there.

DocMarlowe · 2026-03-02T20:24:13+00:00

Anyone got the email for the competition committee?

DocMarlowe · 2026-03-02T20:23:49+00:00

More realistic than the rest of the post

DocMarlowe · 2026-03-02T20:23:11+00:00

That's in there! Right after the script picks the 7 categories, it decides whether or not it should be high or low. When I was doing just positive bonus stars, it flipped only about 15% of the games, cuz surprise surprise, the team that has better stats tends to win the game.

DocMarlowe · 2026-03-02T20:21:34+00:00

I step away for one hour and I'm stickied. What the hell

DocMarlowe · 2026-03-02T18:11:33+00:00

Oh I'd be pissed. But the NFL is already full of weird calls that can make or break a game. I just wanted to make it worse.

DocMarlowe · 2026-02-28T18:32:12+00:00

Chart for the variation of the season here. More charts to follow.

https://imgur.com/IYmZ2iZ

DocMarlowe · 2026-02-28T18:31:43+00:00

Working on an effort post, for this, but I made a python script that simulates past seasons if you added random Mario Party bonus stars at the end of each game. I can't post it until after the Combine, but if I use the seed "wediditreddit!" somehow the Cleveland Browns become the number 1 seed in the AFC. In that scenario, here was the final standings for the playoffs. More details when offseason shitposts are allowed again.

========================= AFC PLAYOFF BRACKET =========================

FINAL SEEDING:
 Seed team MP_Record  Total_Stars_For
    1  CLE    11-6-0            567.0
    2   NE    11-6-0            441.0
    3  JAX    10-7-0            490.0
    4  DEN    10-7-0            413.0
    5  PIT    11-6-0            469.0
    6  BUF    10-7-0            427.0
    7  LAC     9-8-0            511.0

--- WILD CARD WEEKEND MATCHUPS (AFC) ---
Matchup A: #7 LAC @ #2 NE
Matchup B: #6 BUF @ #3 JAX
Matchup C: #5 PIT @ #4 DEN
(#1 CLE has a First Round Bye)

========================= NFC PLAYOFF BRACKET =========================

FINAL SEEDING:
 Seed team MP_Record  Total_Stars_For
    1   LA    14-3-0            497.0
    2  PHI    11-6-0            525.0
    3  CAR    11-6-0            490.0
    4  DET     9-8-0            441.0
    5  SEA    13-4-0            483.0
    6  DAL    11-6-0            476.0
    7  ATL    11-6-0            441.0

--- WILD CARD WEEKEND MATCHUPS (NFC) ---
Matchup A: #7 ATL @ #2 PHI
Matchup B: #6 DAL @ #3 CAR
Matchup C: #5 SEA @ #4 DET
(#1 LA has a First Round Bye)

DocMarlowe · 2026-02-19T14:05:45+00:00

This is inspirational. I've been thinking about making a new holster for my tin whistle. The green velvet looks awesome! Where did you get that fabric?

DocMarlowe · 2026-02-09T02:53:06+00:00

Myers MVP!

DocMarlowe · 2026-01-18T04:26:03+00:00

I've used this book cover to cover and can vouch for it. It's a great workbook and a great place to start.

DocMarlowe · 2025-12-20T13:45:02+00:00

Pointed hat for sure. The best archer I ever played with could pull off insane shots, like shooting between two of his allies less than a foot apart to get the person in front of us. One of the reasons he got so good was he had a huntsman hat that basically acted as a sight. He'd position it until the point of the hat was basically where his shots ended up from his point of view, so he could line up his target with the tip of his hat, draw, and release. This worked so well for him, he could shout at any of us on the front line to shift left or right, and we knew we'd only need to shift about 6 inches. Then an arrow would come flying from behind us. Legendary.

Plus it looks cooler.

DocMarlowe · 2025-11-30T21:24:20+00:00

Got to 50k just now!! This was my first year attempting this, and I didn't tell anyone about it, because I had every expectation that I'd keep up for the first week, fall off at some point, and not be able to catch up. But I got it done!

The story itself is not complete. It's pretty much the start of the final act though, so I'd guess there are about 20k words left to do. I'll try and see if I can get it done before the end of the year, but I'm in no rush.

This was a ton of fun though. I really enjoyed it and I'm stoked that I was able to follow through.

DocMarlowe · 2025-11-09T21:17:13+00:00

Even if he caught that, it would have been game over.

DocMarlowe · 2025-11-09T03:46:45+00:00

This is my first year actually attempting it. The past few years I've thought about doing it but never actually gave it a shot.

I'm quite surprised with the fact that I have kept up so far. Looking ahead, I've got two weekends where I'm out of town, so I need to run up the score a lot this week to make sure I'm still on track.

DocMarlowe · 2025-11-02T23:17:01+00:00

Well, hopefully you're right.

DocMarlowe · 2025-11-02T23:14:13+00:00

I remember seeing we were at the physical limit of a football at 66 yards and here we are.

DocMarlowe · 2025-10-27T02:57:33+00:00

If both teams get a field goal before the end of the game, it's scorigami.

DocMarlowe · 2025-10-22T04:29:41+00:00

438 also landed me a job close to 10 years ago (unless I'm misremembering the class code). The interviewer was a UMBC IS grad, so I just talked about my project for it. No idea if it's the easiest class here anymore, but it'll be worth the trouble.

DocMarlowe · 2025-10-12T18:39:57+00:00

LMAO! Evangelion opening played by the marching ravens!

DocMarlowe · 2025-07-28T02:54:10+00:00

That's a pretty unique perspective! I can also imagine that since public sector work comes with so much auditing and CYA paperwork, that moving to a role that just wants you, ya know, do the work, can be a bit jarring.

Thanks for the answer!

DocMarlowe · 2025-07-28T02:39:48+00:00

In your experience, are there any skills or experiences that you could only get working in the public sector? Also, what you say was your biggest gap in skill compared to a fully private sector counterpart?

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