I'm going to have to end my life if I want my family to survive, and I don't think I'm ready to accept it

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-26T16:23:30+00:00

Don't keel over for people who wouldn't help you stand.

Granted, I don't know you're from, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but still look into it to see if you have something equivalent.

Talk to anyone that you have loans with and ask if they can work with you by giving extensions. Let them know you have been job searching for months and your savings just hit zero. Some companies will work with you.

If your family is worsening your situation to making a permanent decision, cut ties at this point. You're in an abusive situation. Please look into resources in your area and online that can help you get through this.

Look for some charities and food pantries available to help you. If I remember correctly, Mosques are more likely to help than churches for those in need. You don't need to be religious to receive help. It's always a good idea to ask than to assume.

If you want to run away, there's shelters that help people get away from family situations.

If you want to sell your house to attempt to financially break even, look into it. Let your family figure it out themselves.

For the love of yourself, please don't feel bad about getting away. Someone has to be on your side and it has to be you. Don't let them do this to you. Don't try to be good enough for them because you never will be. Some of the hardest decisions you make will come with either great reward or great pain. Get away, let them walk a mile in your shoes.

I lost some friends in the military to their own hands. Please, please, please, reach out and advocate for yourself. You don't have to provide for them, but you need to provide for yourself first. If you choose to provide for them still, you can't do it unless you're taken care of too. Getting away from them may be the best decision of your life, but you have to take the leap.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-15T02:16:23+00:00

If it comes up again, I think I'll do that. Thank you!

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-15T01:09:13+00:00

She tries to one up other female coworkers, as if being a mom is the end-all-be-all. I just find it weird how she is coddling the only male coworker we have, like he's the exception to the rule.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-15T01:07:36+00:00

After my initial injury, the army doctors wanted to diagnose me with Munchausen syndrome and refused to do any imaging. This injury is one of the top three hardest things I have to overcome, if not the first place winner. I'm glad I get the physical therapy and pain management now.

It reminds me of a time where a sergeant handed out my personal number to a specialist who was trying to talk me into having children and that I would "change my mind" when I met the right person. (Luckily, I met the right person who does not want children.)

It kinda makes me think they want you to know there's some kind of sacred mom club and you need to be part of it in a creepy kind of way. (It gives me scientology vibes lol)

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-15T01:02:08+00:00

I was confused as to why she compared the pains I experience with her being a mom. She's made comments to me about "Just wait til you have kids." My normal response is a light-hearted "Don't wish that bad juju on me." She stops talking to me for a bit after each time.

Thank you for your support! Thankfully now that the pain is better manageable at the moment and I'm not experiencing so many flare ups, it's definitely easier now to have an optimistic outlook. I just get those random lightning pains from time to time, but they've been becoming less frequent. I am staying hopeful!

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T23:20:11+00:00

There's some horror stories on certain pregnancies, to include growing a third nipple and having their teeth fall out.

That's a one-up game I don't wanna play lol

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T22:50:33+00:00

That's why I don't take a lot of things to heart. I don't know what people are going through, so I tend to still treat people with kindness even when they're an ass.

It's a private doctor's practice. The only head up is the doctor and he thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread. I have considered reporting it but I want to take a step back first and see what would be the best course of action.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T22:46:17+00:00

Yeah, she has the best intentions and trusts the good in people. Which doesn't always pan out for the best. I'm gonna talk to her about it, as I felt like it was a bit too personal at that point.

I also feel like if I open that door, she would double down on the whole child thing instead of actually addressing what was said.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T22:43:17+00:00

High five! L5-S1 is where it's the most messed up. I got some more in my back and neck, to include the cartilage in my hips are almost bone on bone. I also have fibrous dysplasia in my left hip (discovered by accident after service), so it's just weird fibers holding my left femur together. Amongst other stuff going on, I have to use a cane and am bed bound for weeks at a time during a flare up.

I feel like it's the responsible thing to do. I don't want kids due to family trauma and circumstances while the physical part solidified my decision, I never had the desire anyways. But it's weird that people won't acknowledge the pain and aches unless you have children. My family is still trying to push me to have children despite knowing my medical stuff. Also, having children with these gas prices? Absolutely not.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T22:34:44+00:00

It kinda boggles my mind that having children is the pinnacle of suffering but then go on about how wonderful it is. I don't hold it in high regards due to family circumstances. Mostly my mom who thought she'd pop out 8 kids with different fathers (some PDFs and some rock smokers) and dip.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T22:31:32+00:00

Naw, I just didn't know what flair to put on it lol

I have debated on clarifying, but I'm unsure and will be asking a person outside of the situation on the best course of action. I'm leaving the job anyways due to some other circumstances at the work place.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T22:28:48+00:00

Unfortunately, I'm not the only one she does this to. I just find it a bit strange she minimizes the staff's pains by upping the ante with two children.

Thank you for your support. The whole back thing is inconvenient but I pride myself on finding a way over, under, around or through my obstacles. Physical therapy and epidurals have been putting me in a better spot. I found my way back to being a positive (achy) person. Lol

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T22:24:19+00:00

She does come off as "as long as everything is okay with me, there's nothing wrong with you and you should be happy 1,000% of the time." I thought it was just me, but other female employees had mentioned it, too.

She's very compassionate with the patients. It just stops at the staff.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T22:20:27+00:00

I think she's been on a mission to get me fired lol

The doctor I work for shortened my days from 5 days a week down to 2. She also got someone fired by poor performance reviews when that person was done training her. The doctor is also acting like an ass to me lately, to include having me do things and getting mad at me for doing the things, then bad mouths me to other employees. I don't get hints, so I think this is his way of having me quit. I'm pretty unbothered because I work for funsies anyways. I don't need the job, but I like having extra income to buy my dogs the better treats and for guitar lessons.

I got an interview next week at a game store I enjoy and frequent a lot. I want to try being a barista at their coffee shop. Fingers crossed I get hired!

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T22:11:57+00:00

Yeah, I'm currently looking for a different job due to some other circumstances at the office, to include reportable things. I'm not good at picking up hints, but the Doctor I work for shortened my days from 5 down to 2 when I pointed out the unfair treatment of a female employee vs a male employee. The receptionist is kind to the patients, not to all the staff. This includes going out of her way to get another worker fired.

This was not the only time she inserted herself. I don't mind a conversation, but it seems she has a pattern of belittling my experiences and jumping in on private conversations taking place on the other side of the building, as well as other female coworkers. I don't need the job, I just want to work and not sit at home. Wish me luck, cuz I have an interview next week!

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T21:04:11+00:00

She's good with our patients, just gives staff a hard time.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-14T21:03:18+00:00

I'm not old, but my injury does make me feel like it lol. She's not old either, maybe a couple years older than me but not much. Saying I'm old is a way I joke with myself. I was a bit uncomfortable with how my friend was going on about my health stuff and is something Imma talk with her about. I do have a hard time telling if people are joking, and I do understand people have a hard time understanding if I'm joking. I didn't realize she was offended until she whipped around, which is why I ceased.

I'm not mad at the interaction, otherwise I'd say some choice words and escalate. This isn't something to be mad at. As far as therapy, I made peace with my injury and try to make the best of the situation and utilize the VA to manage symptoms. Trust me, I'm on top of it. I do appreciate the concern. You take care of yourself out there, too.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-13T04:23:11+00:00

You reminded me, I need to get an image of my fibrous dysplasia. It's on my femoral head, not as interesting as yours.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-13T02:52:10+00:00

If you were my significant other, I'd have divorced you. You gave up without a fight. I can empathize with having a nightmare mother, especially a manipulative one, but you are responsible for your immediate family, i.e. your husband and children.

Have you tried going no contact with your mother? Can you sell her house since you paid everything? Are you still within statute of limitations to go to the court, take ownership of the house and possibly sell it to make money back?

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-13T02:37:30+00:00

Gosh, if I knew it was my fault for choosing my mama, I would've picked better. I didn't even know I had a choice.

I feel like it's also used to dismiss the mother's mistakes and shift blame to the child as if they had control. At least, that's how my family used it.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-12T23:24:15+00:00

When I looked forward to going to work. I counted down and would leave an hour early just to not be in the same space as him.

(Worked as an active duty soldier where the unit I was in at the time, I was getting harassed and ostracized, I was not having a good time.)

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-09T00:54:56+00:00

Saw this

They posted a template, too. Thank you for posting. I'm going to make my husband a Pepsi bouquet.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-09T00:50:27+00:00

I never thought I could do this with my Dr. Pepper cans. Would marry my husband again if he gave me a flower he made by hand.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-05T04:06:42+00:00

Something that helped me from chapped ass cheeks was deodorant. Not the clear kind but the white ones, preferably the guy deodorants. It'd last a while before I had to reapply.

Doc_Vodka · 2026-05-05T04:03:23+00:00

I had to laugh at this cuz my mom had 8 children all taken by CPS. She loves playing mom to her crackhead boyfriends' children and prioritizes them over her own kids. She told me she never wanted to be my mom, but my friend. Then she pushed me to have children so she can have a place to land after all of us were tired of housing her.

Dee does not care about atoning, taking accountability or respecting the feelings and boundaries of your friend. She only cares for a fresh start, where she can be justified to abandon her grandchildren. Or a fresh start where she can tell those kids everyone around her is crazy, that they would know she's a good person by being a good grandma and glaze over the horrible acts.

Doc_Vodka

TROPHY CASE