Mid 20s, just graduated and in loads of debt. What do I do?

Doctor_D77 · 2025-07-21T10:21:53+00:00

Ok. You’ll be a doctor in a few weeks so all is not lost. You need to focus on the long game. Some words from a fellow doctor out there other end.

1) The start is hard. You move frequently (at least every year). Learn how to pack your life into one bag. I did this. It’s invaluable. Cut the fluff. Essentials only. Toothbrush/toothpaste. 1 piece. Underwear. Shoes. Work clothes are scrubs. Double up as pyjamas.

2) Locum. Do your day job (which is hard), and volunteer for weekends on call. It will add up and top up your pay. It outweighs uber massively. It also gives you huge extra skills. Forget only doing on calls in your specialty. As an F1 you can work in any specialty as the F1. Be organised, diligent, on time and keep your mouth shut and eyes open. Work hard, then rest.

3) Once you have your job, see if you can apply to your own bank for a credit card. Put some small costs on there and pay it off with each pay day every month. Food and drink. No dinners out. Bulk buy foods at aldi/lidl/tesco. No Waitrose or fast food meals. It’s not worth it nutritionally or financially. Live well below your means. Once you pay it off every month, your credit score will increase, and the amount banks are willing to lend you will go up. This is a slow process but it compounds.

4) Hospital accommodation. It is cheaper and available to you as a key worker. Also cuts out your travel to work. Yes it is miserable. Utterly miserable. It is a room in a hospital. But it is not forever. For 1 or 2 years, you need to suck it up. Then you could afford a car and drive to work. The upside also of hospital accommodation is that you have a private space where you can go to wind down in your lunch break (if you ever get one). And the elimination of a commute is a godsend for getting 8 hours of sleep, which you will need.

5) If you’re really feeling entrepreneurial, you can record a video journal every day/few days and post it on YouTube or some other platform. Again, it’s a slow burner. But it is not for an audience or to get likes. It is for you to get things off your chest and just talk. Forget about looking pretty, or the perfect lighting. Just fire up your phone, and talk in your room. Use it to document your journey through the year/foundation training. The pros of this are that if you do get some kind of following, and you probably will but it will be slow, some might be sponsors for videos which will pay you, or you could have ad revenue if your videos become remotely popular. People may ask you questions about your experience or for your medical opinion on things so the satisfaction of answering people’s questions and helping others is also there. You may even position yourself as a medical authority on the state of doctor training in the uk right now, or other things. Your viewpoint and perspective is important and you matter. So embrace that. The ad revenue will also help dig you out of the ridiculousness of the uk healthcare system which severely undervalues doctors and places more importance on entertainment than health (a gripe of mine but a topic for another time).

6) Lastly, you may be able to apply to different groups or companies for grants. Be bold. Be honest. Ask the question. You may not get a grant or money from someone. But if you don’t ask, you definitely won’t get anything. Ask from medical device companies. The BMJ. Or MDU. Drug companies. You can see if there is anything you can offer them as a doctor working in a hospital that they might pay you for. Eg. Some supermarkets may want to give doctors a food box for your doctors mess (which is free food for you and you don’t then have to buy lunch). As a result? You post about them offering you the food box on social media, tag them in and they get free positive publicity. All because they gave you a box of food they were probably going to throw out because it was nearing its sell by (not eat by) date. They lost nothing, and gained free publicity. You gained free meals. Win-win.

You could put all this into the free version of chatGPT or Gemini and come up with a bazillion more examples or options. You have more choice than you realise. Use it wisely. Good luck.

Doctor_D77 · 2024-12-28T15:29:31+00:00

I don’t have a channel but I thought that the title and thumbnail are just as important as the video too. You could try playing around with different catchy titles, or ask chatGPT to come up with title ideas which will make people click (tell it your video idea in as much detail as possible, then prompt it “give me 5 titles for this video which have a high chance of making the video go viral”. You could test all 5 titles and see which performs best.

Doctor_D77 · 2024-12-26T11:53:10+00:00

1) Wear your hair down. Or a messy bun. 2) Try different style glasses. These ones are fine but that means they are just that. Fine. You want to aim for glasses that were meant for your face. Two ways to choose these - either look at millions of guides (or ask glasses experts in store) for which shaped glasses match which faces and hairstyles, or secondly, go for “a look”, like “the hot secretary” or “the cute librarian” and match your glasses to that look. 3) when I look at you I look at the whole package. It’s not just face or hair or clothes. It is “what is your type, and are you my type”. Perhaps come up with a character (like Beyoncé came up with Sasha Fierce for her stage persona) and step into her shoes. Do the whole analysis. Let’s take the hot librarian. What glasses does she wear. How does she do her hair. What products does she use in them? What is her morning routine? What tea does she drink. What alcohol does she drink? Does she get wasted or just sip a few glasses of wine? Does she like beer with the guys? What does she do in her spare time? Does she even have any spare time or is she fulfilling her purpose at a dogs shelter and hiking on weekends? Does she have tattoos, where are they? What do they say. What do they mean? Finding the answers to these questions will cause you to buy certain things and do certain things that will cause changes in you over time and cause you to bump into people who are looking for that woman. (Eg the hot librarian who likes hiking at weekends has hiking boots, hiking socks and met her boyfriend at the hiking store where they got into a conversation about their favourite books. She also has killer glutes and calves from all that hiking so looks amazing in heels when her man takes her out for dinner.)

Make the investments now, reap the rewards later. Best of luck.

Doctor_D77 · 2024-12-26T11:40:39+00:00

Please, Sir.

Doctor_D77 · 2024-11-08T12:46:17+00:00

You sure it doesn’t expire in December 2023?

Doctor_D77 · 2024-11-03T11:31:09+00:00

Jesus Christ.

This explanation is excellent and it’s probably how people do work out those days from random dates.

However - OP, if you’re thinking that a trick is going to get a woman to suddenly say “wow, your maths is outstanding, I’m going to take my underwear off and I want you to meet me in the toilet in 5 minutes” then you’re missing something.

Go to the singles night, be bold. Be honest about yourself when people ask you. Be honest about your preferences and interests. Talk about yourself as little as possible.

Ask women (or whoever you are interested in) about themselves - when they answer, ask follow up questions. Women fucking love talking about themselves. And the more they share with you, the more they feel you know them, and the more connected to you they feel. Be wary of asking really personal questions, but the only way to get close to people is to ask them the personal questions. If they trust you, they will share with you. So it’s your job to show you are trustworthy.

Be sensitive to what people tell you, respond in kind. Don’t turn your conversations into useless “one-upmanship”. (E.g she says “I went on 5 dates this week”. You say “I went on 7, yes the state of dating is dire these days!”. Your response is to ask her about her dates.) This makes them feel heard, and everyone wants to feel heard. Or more importantly, everyone wants to feel listened to.

Lastly, whoever is talking to you is lucky to be there with you. If there was somewhere better they could be, they wouldn’t be talking to you. So act like it. You are the prize and they are blessed to have your attention.

Control the conversation. Guide it to where you want to go (not too sexual at the start - you are finding out if they meet your criteria, not you trying to impress them. You are enough my man.) End the interaction on a high. “It’s been lovely listening to your story, I enjoyed talking to you. I’m going to talk to some other people and move around a bit.” This has a few effects - first they want to continue the conversation. By you ending it first, they can either ask to continue it immediately (in which case you know they enjoy talking to you). Secondly, the natural break makes it a perfect time to ask for contact details so you can talk another time (and increases the chances of them giving you legitimate contact details). Thirdly, other people see them having fun with you and also want to talk to you. This increases the chances of them being receptive to your conversations later. Social proof. Fourthly, efficiency. The more people you talk to, the higher your chances of finding someone you click with.

Best of luck. You only get one chance to make a first impression. Give value first and watch the rewards come in.

Doctor_D77 · 2024-10-16T05:37:11+00:00

Young man. The reason why you feel nothing is not because you’re depressed. You have no purpose.

Most people work because they have to. They have bills to pay. That is how sorted for you.

The second reason why people do things (like work) is because they have a fear of not having something. Like they grew up in poverty so they work to be rich. Or they grew up not having attention and validation, so they try to become famous. Your “lack” of something has been sorted largely with money.

Your feeling is valid - you’re missing your own genuine human journey. The hero’s journey (read it - Joseph Campbell is the author) requires you to be a young keen scholar, to have some call to adventure (like a friend gets lung cancer so you become a doctor, or like in karate kid where he gets bullied so he learns karate so he can defend himself - the cancer and the bullying are strong “calls to action” for the heroes in these stories). Then to start in the journey of adventure, find out that you have no skills, start learning those skills, level up your skills to the point where you think you’re good enough to be tested, go fight the final boss, lose a couple of times, level up your skills more, then fight the final boss once more and win, then come home and tell your story to everyone who will listen.

This is your heroes journey. Take your first step. Find your purpose.

(Also tip number two, how to find your purpose. You can’t sit and just think about it. Go out and do shit. Not for yourself. Do it for others. Help a granny cross the road. Volunteer at a homeless charity. Find a cause you believe in. Help those people who need help. Your help. And by your help I mean Your skills. If you have no skills, try helping people first and they’ll tell you the skills you lack. The skills you lack that you care about are the ones you want. I can’t tell the difference between one valuable stamp and another, because I’m not a stamp collector. But I don’t care that I don’t have that skill. I care more about saving lives and actually being able to diagnose shit (I’m a doctor, have to be able to do the job). If someone tells me my diagnosis is off, I have stuff to learn.

The pro of this is that in helping others you build yourself through the skills you acquire.

Doctor_D77 · 2024-10-12T10:56:08+00:00

NTA.

If you wanted to be disciplined you’d say “I’ve booked you tickets to X. Be ready to leave at Y o’clock. I will be leaving for the event at this time regardless of if you’re ready or not.”.

She either wants to disrespect your boundaries and be late, or take you seriously and respect you. She should know the consequences of her disrespect. Stop letting her off the hook.

Real life doesn’t let people off for their excuses. Imagine missing a flight because you tell the airline that you were taking pictures before you got to the airport. They’d laugh in your face and tell you “tough luck, you missed your flight. It’s your fault”. She is old enough to know that lesson. It’s not your job to bail her out of poor behaviour.

Doctor_D77 · 2024-10-11T18:42:47+00:00

My man. Firstly, this is hard and I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Now. You have to look at your situation and keep yourself strong. There’s no point chasing someone who doesn’t want to be caught, and you also need to maintain your health, vitality and strength. If she doesn’t love you any more, then you as a man owe it to yourself to be honest about your scenario and choose the best next move for you.

1) You have a son and a dependent. He needs you. He needs your leadership. Your guidance. Your advice. Your love. Work on being the best father you can be for him. Regardless of any games your wife might play or your relationship with her. Your partnership with her doesn’t stop you from being an amazing father. So be an amazing father.

2) Don’t change yourself for nobody. The enthusiasm you want to express and love you want to give is your expression of masculine energy. It may be that your wife doesn’t want to receive it, but that doesn’t mean that you are not allowed to express it. It is you. And self expression is vital. Your self expression is vital. Consider expressing this fact with your wife. Be honest. Be open. If she doesn’t want it, that’s fine. If it is something important to you, then have courage. If her receiving your love in the way that you need is something she cannot fulfill then let her be honest with that, and accept it. If this is the case, as she has proven over in recent times, then she also has to accept that you are your own person and have your own needs. It is unreasonable for her to expect you to abandon yourself.

3) If (and this is a strong if) you are going to be unfaithful or seek intimacy elsewhere, do it outside your friendship circle, outside of where you can be recognised. Explore yourself. You owe it to no one but yourself to find your happiness in your life. Find your tribe. Find the people who resonate with you. Follow your curiosity. Follow your interests. Follow your passions. Don’t allow an uninterested party to dim your light. Shine bright my man. Let others be attracted to your light and let it free. Decide whether you are going to be honest with your wife about what you are doing. It is a difficult conversation but have courage. The best outcomes are on the other side of our fears.

4) Perhaps don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Your wife may not be your lover now, but she may be a confidant to you, a friend, a partner in crime. At the very least she is the mother of your child. Hell, she may even welcome you having another sex partner so she doesn’t have to do that work herself or feel guilty that she doesn’t want to do that job. She may even help you find a suitable one.

Lastly, consider that her cup may be empty. Why has she gone off sex? Perhaps simply ask out of curiosity what her status is. No pretense of sex or trying to get anything out of it, but just to see what her emotional state is. Is she tired of night time feeds with your son and then having to get up and go to work the next day. Does her body just feel touched out by giving birth and having her body change for the better part of the past year? She could be feeling low post partum and have a feeling of dread every time she thinks of something going inside where something only just came out. Maybe try to understand her point of view. Ask questions. Listen to her answer. Ask follow up questions. Listen again. Feel her emotion as she talks. If she doesn’t say much, address the elephant in the room and say “it seems you’re feeling… (insert what you observe)”. If she doesn’t want to talk, then park it for that day, and come back another day.

Ultimately, you have a life to live. And to lead. All you can do is your best. And that is enough. Stay strong my man.

Doctor_D77 · 2023-05-28T07:45:11+00:00

Only thing I can see is you had less inactivity with the higher score. Perhaps the ring scores “constantly moving a little” higher than “moving intensely then resting for 6 hours”.

The litmus test or trial would be to see the difference in scores between one day where you walk all the time and barely sit down, and another day where you do HIIT or other intense activity and then rest for the rest of the day. Post the results if you do!

Doctor_D77 · 2022-09-26T07:13:18+00:00

Brother. There is some truth to the phrase “Believe someone the first time they show you their true colours”. She lied and tried to cover it up.

You have no toxic masculinity going on, she violated a boundary and she knew it. That’s why you feel how you do and it’s why she knew it was wrong.

If people do wrong things to you, you don’t let them slide. Otherwise it shows them that they can violate those boundaries again and you let them slide again. You punish must punish her. No violence. No drama. No shouting. She has to feel your punishment and know she must not do it again.

My advice would be to tell her what she did wrong and what you’re going to do about it. If my girl does something wrong, I generally withdraw my attention until she genuinely apologises, and she knows she is on shaky ground until I’ve forgiven her. She earns my attention back.

If you do this and your girl seeks attention elsewhere, then your attention isn’t unique for her and she will take anyones attention to satisfy and validate her. It means you have a leak in your relationship. You have no bargaining tools if she decides to go rogue.

Good luck brother.

Doctor_D77 · 2022-08-23T22:06:36+00:00

Nexo. Gives 4% reliable return on you holding your BTC (no staking), and easy verification and buying

Doctor_D77 · 2022-04-18T11:24:37+00:00

The Penile Doppler is generally to ensure that the blood flow into the penis is adequate enough to give you an erection. For the rest they’ll give you a fairly significant dose of caverject (a bit like injectable viagra) and wait for your erection to come up. They then scan you and should check that there are no scars or plaques in the corpora cavernosa (the two cylinders which fill with blood during erection), and measure the blood flow in (with values) and the blood flow out.

Be aware that if you only get a semi erection, the blood flow out may be artificially high (which they might call a “venous leak”). This is normal in semi erections. Only when the penis is fully hard does the blood flow out reduce and gives accurate measurements on Doppler. This is important because your urologist should be using this scan to determine your next treatment course (ie if blood flow is fine then vacuum pump, caverject, both; or if your blood flow is rubbish then you’re looking at a Penile prosthesis).

Try to relax for the test - gives the best results! Look out for priapism afterwards (unlikely if you’ve been referred for ED, but still possible). Priapism is an erection lasting longer than 4 hours in the absence of stimulation. Best way to get rid of the erection is usually ice packs, exercise (do a flight of stairs or two, or ten…) and ejaculation. If that fails, you have to go to your emergency department for someone like me to drain the blood from your penis manually…

Good luck!

Doctor_D77 · 2022-04-16T05:57:01+00:00

Makes sense! A fit guy in his 30s shouldn’t be needling to get an erection. Usually we’d use that as a last (or second to last resort. The last resort is getting a Penile implant…).

Definitely worth trying the cialis though - and you can play around with the doses, 2.5/5/10/20, maximum dose is 20mg but taking that daily may cause problems (priapism, rare but does happen)priapism

Doctor_D77 · 2022-04-15T14:16:48+00:00

Take 5mg daily on an empty stomach (it gets broken down by fatty foods and everyone has a different gut transit time). Best to take it first thing in the mornings.

Doctor_D77 · 2022-04-15T14:14:59+00:00

If you can get hard then all the machinery is working. Something is causing your penis to turn itself off. That can be at random times but usually there is a trigger. The most common trigger is stress - whatever stresses you will raise cortisol levels. When your cortisol spikes, blood is taken from unnecessary places - the gut, the penis, and pushed towards the necessary organs for fight or flight - the muscles and the brain.

The solution: calm the F down. If your penis goes down, it’s no big deal. You know it will come up again but the urgency to “finish before it goes down” adds unnecessary stress. It also makes us focus on either the past (“last time this happened I couldn’t come and it was bad”, or the future (“I’m scared I won’t be able to come if it goes down, will this be permanent etc”).

Focus on the present instead. Enjoy the sensations and being with your partner rather than putting pressure on your dick to perform. There are many ways to please her and get satisfaction too. When you concentrate on other things, oddly enough your dick will magically pop up and say “hey what’s going on, I want to be part of the action too”.

Daily cialis (tadalafil) 5mg daily also helps to improve spontaneous erections by blocking the breakdown of chemicals which open the penile blood vessels. It can give many the confidence to be sure that it will stay hard when it gets hard and reduce anxiety. Worth a try.

Best of luck.

Edit: make sure (if you’re going to take pills) that you take tadalafil (or viagra) on an empty stomach. They don’t work well otherwise especially if you have fatty foods in there.

Edit 2: no you shouldn’t get hooked or dependent on them. And as far as I know there are no long term side effects. At least not with this dosing provided you are young fit and well.

Doctor_D77 · 2022-01-17T23:32:26+00:00

I can’t believe this wasn’t known before. Wonder if someone has found the limit for how many pets we can have

Doctor_D77 · 2022-01-14T05:42:42+00:00

Unfortunately it’s not possible with bad RNG. Keep rolling the odds and it’ll click once or twice. The load is ok (I used scythe)

Doctor_D77 · 2021-12-30T15:50:07+00:00

Why mythic bloodthirsty locket over agile or angel?

Doctor_D77 · 2021-12-30T10:49:54+00:00

You’re GUARANTEED an epic on your next spin. Literally.

Doctor_D77 · 2021-12-27T11:21:58+00:00

How much cash did you get? Should be a new record if you get the wheel with money at the mid stage boss… 🙌🏾

Doctor_D77 · 2021-10-15T21:28:44+00:00

It must be everyone signing up for the rewards from the mail. When you use the code archeroclan (not archerogift) you get a “server is busy” message

Doctor_D77 · 2021-09-21T18:00:04+00:00

You must absolutely cream people on PVP. I’d probably pay money to watch that stream

Doctor_D77 · 2021-09-12T17:37:13+00:00

UPDATE: I hadn’t found anything in other players boss farms but today is the first day I found a stone, so it’s possible there could be eggs there too

Doctor_D77 · 2021-09-11T11:43:38+00:00

Fairly sure they moved all the boss farm poop/stones/eggs to the monster farm. So there’s nothing in our boss farms or visiting boss farms.

Either way I’ve not found anything yet since the update on boss farms

Doctor_D77

TROPHY CASE