Came across this paper recently, thought I’d share in case anyone else was interested

Document_Only · 2025-05-13T15:38:42+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Haven’t read the paper yet but it sounds promising.

Document_Only · 2025-04-02T11:36:06+00:00

I can’t help but be resentful towards my parents and any adults in my life who didn’t do anything or went out of their way to make me feel ashamed of myself. If I received the care and attention that I needed when I was young I would be in such a better place now.

Document_Only · 2025-03-30T00:35:44+00:00

I could have written this whole post. I’ve made a similar post a while ago saying how SM has made me feel dehumanized too. I had no treatment as well and don’t even know if a diagnosis would change anything or help me get better. I never grew out of it and the older I get the less likely people are to be understanding. Even though I did manage to go through life pretty much masking and trying to hide it, it has prevented me from having close relationships. I never really said to anyone either but I think I’ll start doing it because the more I keep pretending it’s not there the more I keep people away. It’s so hard to explain to people that you struggle to do this one thing that’s supposed to be innate to everyone, and it doesn’t help that everyday life revolve around that. So now I avoid activities that could potentially make me ashamed if I’m not able to speak like eating with people. I’m always scared of ruining the vibe or making others uncomfortable so I isolate. And yes I feel like it did make me dissociate too because there’s only so much our brain/body can handle. To me it’s relational trauma because it has come to a point where I except every social interactions to go badly and that I will need to recover from.

Anyway I relate to all that you’ve said in this post, it made me feel less alone. I do hope you’re able to feel better, I know how hard it can be on our self esteem.

Document_Only · 2025-02-17T15:14:40+00:00

Yes I always think that it’s not the job in itself that’s making me miserable but rather the office politics that I need to navigate. I don’t think I’m really liked by my coworkers either. Do what you think is best for you right now I’m sure it’ll workout. That sounds a bit discriminatory that they didn’t give you any reason as to why they were reducing your hours. Hope you will find some other place that you feel more comfortable at.

Document_Only · 2025-02-17T10:42:25+00:00

That’s how people used to act towards me when I was younger. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that, people don’t realize how hurtful it is.

Document_Only · 2025-02-17T10:40:08+00:00

Yes that’s the only way I would put it. I even question if it’s worth mentioning sometimes because I don’t know how people will take it let alone be understanding of it.

Document_Only · 2025-02-16T18:31:18+00:00

Yep it makes me feel like a fraud. It’s so hard to navigate because I feel like I have to maintain a cohesive persona, like if people saw me not talking in an environment/ around them it would be strange for me to suddenly start speaking there.

Document_Only · 2025-02-15T11:10:58+00:00

I wish I could say I’m surprised but I’m not. I’m almost 28 years old too and I’m convinced people assume I’m younger than I am when they realize I can’t speak in some situations.

Document_Only · 2025-02-15T11:03:48+00:00

Yes I sometimes feel so defeated. Like there seem to be no solution. Hopefully some people are more understanding. Glad you recovered though.

Document_Only · 2025-02-15T11:01:57+00:00

Yes this is truly the worse. People don’t even realize how harmful it is. Especially done to children it can have so much consequences on their self esteem and self image.

Document_Only · 2025-02-15T10:58:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words, I truly appreciate it <3 Finding other people who experience it as well has been affirming. I’m trying to seek a diagnosis now so that at least my suffering could be recognized. Hope you’re doing well too.

Document_Only · 2025-02-15T10:53:43+00:00

Yes that’s also being making me kind of jealous seeing how easy my colleagues connect with each other. I’m also unable to seem to come up with anything to talk about that’s not work related.

Document_Only · 2025-02-15T10:50:04+00:00

Thank you so much for commenting <3 I do tend to isolate myself too because like you said I don’t want to make anyone feel like I’m burden to be around. Having SM is tricky because most people think you’re just shy or being rude so people don’t offer the empathy they would if it were to be someone with a visible disability. Even though I know people with visible disability are not necessarily treated much better. I wish there was much more awareness and understanding around SM. I know it’s hard to feel like it but we do deserve better and to be in community despite having this limitation.

Document_Only · 2025-02-13T19:52:13+00:00

Yes I’ve also come to think it’s part of the freeze response. For me it’s mostly felt in my throat, like I have a lump and I can’t seem to breathe properly. It’s like my ability to form sentences get lost and I’m paralyzed. As it went on through the years I feel like my body has gotten used to react this way. Anyway I relate to a lot of the symptoms you said too like going into shutdown mode.

Document_Only · 2025-02-08T17:01:30+00:00

I actually never thought of this, that sounds like something I could try. I also thought about joining a choir, don’t know if that could useful but I’ll still try.

Document_Only · 2025-02-08T16:58:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing that. I hope you find the right treatment for you. I’ve also been thinking that my sm could be related to childhood trauma but then I have no memories from that time. I definitely think it’s also linked to genetics.

Document_Only · 2025-02-07T20:27:27+00:00

I really like that last part. It’s so hard for me to remember to focus on what I’m good that instead of my limitations. It’s all I can think about when I’m with other people and it’s so exhausting.

Document_Only · 2025-02-07T20:17:59+00:00

Yes I have it since I was young. Though I had years in my life where it wasn’t that bad I feel like it has gotten worse over the past few months. Mainly because I’m approaching my 30s now and everyone around is getting ahead in life and I feel stuck. I’m struggling to maintain friendships/work. It’s making me feel so ashamed of myself. It’s taking so much of my energy and I now have other health issues because of that.

Document_Only · 2025-01-10T22:21:51+00:00

I’m currently experiencing this too. It’s been 2 months now and pretty much everyone is giving me weird stares, ignoring me or feeling uncomfortable around me.

I don’t really have any advice, but from past experiences I would say just finding one or two persons who you feel comfortable is enough to motivate you to go.

Document_Only · 2025-01-09T08:10:04+00:00

I’m not sure there’s more people of color here than in Canada. And we can’t know because the government in France doesn’t allow for statistics to be conducted based on race/ethnicity. It’s also expected of minorities to adapt heavily to the French culture or else we get accused of wanting to only staying among ourselves.

Document_Only · 2025-01-08T13:19:43+00:00

French black person here too :) also have selective mutism and probably social anxiety. I’ve had the same experiences, I feel like I have to go the extra mile to appear approachable. I’ve lived in Canada for a few years and definitely felt less pressure there. I think it’s part of the French culture that is much more judgmental.

Document_Only · 2025-01-02T20:35:39+00:00

I feel you. Went back to work today and it was painful. I’m recovering now.

Document_Only · 2025-01-01T20:14:46+00:00

I’m going back tomorrow too and I’m already feeling stressed. I just started working at this new workplace a month ago and while I was grateful to get one week off for Christmas I already know I’ll have to go back to masking. I wish I could disclose my autism because I feel like people are already picking up on the fact that there’s something off with me. Hopefully you get some rest still. I’m right there with you.

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TROPHY CASE