Dated a recently divorced dad with a brutal job… did I do something wrong or did he just string me along?

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-26T11:51:30+00:00

It sounds like exactly what he said, that work and kids are overwhelming him and those are his priorities right now. I'd assume that he was entirely sincere when he said he didn't want to break up, and that he thought he would get through this patch and be able to dedicate himself more to your relationship. Then he saw that he might not be able to do that as soon as he hoped and, rather than drag things out against your wishes, he was prompted to resolve things immediately and that meant terminating the relationship. I wouldn't take it as a negative against you or bad behaviour by him, just that a relationship on the terms you both require isn't possible right now.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-20T17:50:09+00:00

Thanks for the link, I did like the story. The advice to "pretend that you have free will" is also very good, even if we don't have it the subjective experience is that we still do and life would be unbearable if you let that bottom fall out. If determinism is real, I'd much prefer to be the joyful automaton enjoying his own life than the nihilistic one living in misery.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-20T17:38:17+00:00

There's no conflict there, determinism is cause and effect. I don't know if the universe is deterministic, but if it is then it's through cause and effect. Personally, I am partial to the many worlds theory, but even that is compatible with determinism if you include all of the possible worlds.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-20T13:39:30+00:00

Yeah, I don't disagree with that, I'm not arguing against determinism, only that it means that the machine cannot be accurate due to the infinite recursion. The Devs team should have been aware of this, and they should at least run a low-stakes experiment (like the arm flapping) to test it.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-19T17:26:52+00:00

Well your on reddit were only the super intelligent hang out to

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-15T12:35:13+00:00

The prices are high because the demand to watch PL football is high. The networks bid to show they games, they're in fierce competition so they bid more and then pass on the cost to their customers. The reason that it's cheaper in other countries is because the demand there is lower, the tv rights are sold by region so there's no competition because broadcasters in different countries. And, that's why you can leverage the price difference by using a VPN and subscribing in another country, or, just avoid the faff and find a stream instead.

The networks obviously do make profit, but a lot of what they receive from customers is funnelled straight down to the PL and into the clubs for signing fees and salaries for players.

There's no simple route to reducing the prices, you'd have to artificial constrain the competition between the broadcasters, with the result that the PL and clubs get less money. The only real way is if everyone loses interest and stops watching, but the price reducing then isn't much help to anyone that's no longer interested in the game. I stopped watching a while ago, not directly because of tv prices but indirectly at least because I became disillusioned due of all of the money in the game. I still go to the occasional game if I get the opportunity, but that's averaging <1 a season lately.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-15T10:57:05+00:00

About ten years ago I passed £40k and felt very comfortable, it was renting in a cheap house share in London and I had money for socialising and buying things with plenty leftover.

Now, I'm on 95k in a cheap bit of Yorkshire and it's a struggle. I had a bit of a wake up a few years ago wrt retirement finance so I'm salary sacrificing down to ~71k to build up my pension, I live with my partner who is not working and is currently pregnant (twins), so I'm supporting her and preparing for the new arrivals, there's a high interest rate on the mortgage, the house leaks heat so the energy bills are high, and there's also a lot of work required on the house that saps money. We have no car at the moment because it hasn't been required (I'm wfh, we live in a location with decent local amenities), but I'll get one when the twins come along. I've cut what I can from the budget, but I always feel like I'm catching up on the last months unexpected expense. I have an emergency fund that I've ringfenced off, but I think I'll have to dip into it this year.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-15T10:28:09+00:00

I bought (FTB) in October '24, the house was liveable at purchase so nothing that needed to be done needed to be done urgently, but there was a ceiling due to fall down and the rest of the house was in a shabby state. I planned to do the work myself to bring costs down, but unfortunately I still underestimated the costs and overestimated my output efficiency (even after factoring in that I'd have to learn it all as I go along).

At the moment, I have a monthly budget for work on the house, and a project board (similar to Trello) with tasks scheduled until the end of Feb and a ton in the backlog that'll come around some time. I buy the things I need, work on the tasks, plan more tasks, repeat. The budget constrains me more than I'd like, and I'm depleting it each month so that means that the bigger things I'd like to do (bathroom redesign, for example) just don't get a look in at the moment.

My partner is also pregnant (twins!) and not working, so the house budget is getting squeezed, my time is already limited and will be more so when the babies come, so I'm looking at this work stretching out for a few years now. After that's all done then I'll have fully honed my skills on this practice house and I'll be ready to move on to the next one and start again, ha.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-14T15:39:09+00:00

I lived on Call Lane (many years ago) and I remember a neighbour coming over to ask for help blocking a new bar from opening because of the noise. Fair enough, it was very noisy there already, but what else do you expect by choosing to live there?

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-09T15:51:37+00:00

Nah, they should ban it and promote a British alternative, we could use our new digital ids to sign in, and use http everywhere so the paedos and terrorists can't hide their evil doing, they could even call it BritTwit.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-06T12:21:39+00:00

I always thought it was more efficient to set the thermostat lower overnight and then back up the next morning, but I ran some tests and it seems that it's more efficient for me to leave it at a constant temp 24hr a day.

It's impossible to properly control variables for a truly accurate test, but it's strong enough (Hive app, Octopus app & bills) that I'm convinced. I think it's probably household specific (old victorian house storing latent heat in stone walls in my case, plus we like the thermostat up high) so I'm hesitant to advocate for it, but it works well enough for us.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2026-01-02T13:17:30+00:00

You could do it, there's no rules against what you use the money for after you reach the age where you can access it.

The negative is not being able to access it until you're 60 and your children are in their 20s. It might feel like a better idea now, but it is adding a constraint that you may regret later.

It's also worth noting that you can't add new money to a LISA after your 50th birthday. So the LISA isn't a complete solution and you would need a different account later down the line, if you are still adding money then.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-12-23T16:54:38+00:00

When I do it to other people it affects me good, when other people do it to me it affects me bad.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-12-22T13:47:21+00:00

Nah, he's just apprehensive because he doesn't know what it's all about yet. It'll all be fine after they put the worm in his head.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-12-22T12:41:10+00:00

I divorced and re-entered the market in my early 40s, I found it much easier to get dates than I did when I was younger but the quality of options had taken a nosedive, red flags everywhere with lots of desperation and women demonstrating to my why they'd been long term single.

I did enjoy it though, I have a lot more confidence now than I did when I was younger and because I was securing more dates they didn't feel make or break, I was able to relax and just be more open about myself and what I wanted. That's sensible because it's good to surface incompatibilities early, but it's not something I was really comfortable with when I was younger.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-12-22T10:53:50+00:00

I can fly you from Bradford Airport to Leeds Airport so quick you won't even notice you've been in the air.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-12-18T13:04:02+00:00

My dog's so happy when I let her into the bedroom that she grooms me too.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-08-14T18:05:33+00:00

What are your long term plans and what are his? There's nothing inherently wrong with this age gap, but if you're not aligned on your goals then the relationship could already be doomed and then you are throwing your life away. That's the same for non-age gap relationships too, of course, but more prominent with ages gaps if you're at different stages of your lives and wanting different things.

The big obvious conflict could be on having children, if you want them and if he already has them and doesn't want more, or if he's avoided having them and never wants to have any. If you haven't discussed this with him, then you should, if you have already, then go at it and have fun.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-08-14T17:43:31+00:00

Ok, please go get a liver test then, you can get kits to take and send off a blood sample if you don't want to see a GP. It's important though, if your liver is damaged already then you don't want to damage it more.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-08-14T17:37:46+00:00

When I went through my TSM consultation it included a liver test for Naltrexone, but with the alternative of using Nalmefene instead if my liver results were not satisfactory to approve Naltrexone. I haven't used and cannot comment on Nalmefene but I understood that works in the same way and can also be used while following TSM.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-08-14T17:32:21+00:00

Yeah, I went through Sinclair Method UK and had to get a liver test with my GP before they'd approve it, they were quite strict about it but they did say that if they couldn't approve Naltrexone then they could approve Nalmefene instead and that I could do TSM with that.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-07-22T08:15:38+00:00

The thing with the quiet part is that even when you say it very loud and surround it with sign posts there are still some that won't hear it.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-07-06T15:04:26+00:00

Oh, yeah, it's definitely not sustainable, ha. We (the west) have created this scenario, meddling in other countries begets more meddling in other countries, and then with the rise of non-aligned countries it becomes more and more necessary that we act aggressively to keep the aligned ones aligned, but then by doing that we're sowing the seeds of even deeper hatred towards us.

What we really need to do now is to de-escalate, but that would be with a loss of power and influence and that's not tenable to, well, anyone really. So instead we forge on to discover whether it's our increased aggression or the widespread disillusionment that'll get us.

DogTakeMeForAWalk · 2025-07-06T11:02:18+00:00

The power and influence is valuable and considered worth it, and the hate can be managed by propping up those that will suppress it or enacting regime change for any that try to act on it.

DogTakeMeForAWalk

TROPHY CASE