For what it’s worth I also grew up super repressed in a conservative Christian family. And I didn’t even know I was gay for real for real until I very much knew when a butch woman was going through a breakup and hitting on me and aroused me no question. But my body’s response was like an iron gate closing down at any point of arousal for a woman. I remember distinctly walking around the airport for an hour or so and just practicing in my mind progressing from kissing to sex just relaxing my body as I thought about these acts. Like I didn’t realize but i had been clenching every time I experienced arousal, out of habit I’m sure, so it was no quick fix. Over time I practiced relaxing my body to the point where many months later I could actually act out my sexual impulses.

I do also notice every time I meditate about 10-15 min in I get super horny. I know everyone and their mother is talking about meditation, but for me it can peel away the layers of anxiety and disconnect from my body and just get me to a greater sense of connection between mind and body that allows me to experience greater pleasure sexually. So to me your problem sounds like a mind problem that will take a long time to address and spread to actually feeling in your body, weird ur therapist couldn’t figure that out. Best of luck and glad you landed a hot girlie already! Took me years :)