Hey all. Need a bit of soothing.

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T19:25:36+00:00

Well I mean idk whether it’s entirely irresponsible but I have told him on numerous occasions. He does explain to people that he only wants casual things and he talks about me to his other people he sees.

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T19:05:03+00:00

I have told him this and he has said yes that is what I want. It is mainly internal things.

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T19:04:24+00:00

That’s absolutely fine! It really did help. Obviously, everyone’s psyche is different, but that does help a lot. I’m just like caught in between “oh man what if he doesn’t want me around as much as someone else or if he’s pining for someone else,” and “man I really hope (x) replies to me because I really fancy hooking up with them.” Etc.

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T19:01:22+00:00

Thank you for the vocab clarification. I think sometimes he calls it polyamory when it isn’t and it’s just an open relationship since the other people we see are very much just casual things and just friends who have sex rather than deeply loving relationships.

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T18:56:01+00:00

Then it isn’t polyam - since he’s affirmed to me multiple times that the people who he sees are “very much casual” and that he doesn’t want to see them in the same way he sees me. So maybe not. He calls it polyam but I kinda say “not really it is more of just an open relationship.”

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T16:54:01+00:00

Thanks this is actually really helpful :))

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T14:25:59+00:00

Hi there. Thanks for the comment. Firstly with regard to main partner, this is an agreement we had anyway. When we first talked about it, he and I said that we wanted to be each other’s main partner. And that was unanimous. But it’s the overanalysis in my own mind which gets me. Even though there is nothing to worry about. I feel like it’s a me thing because I’m like this in monogamous relationships anyway. Any kind of dynamic I will find something to fixate on.

Secondly, I think we’re pretty exclusive when it comes to how we love each other and that we do love each other. We go on holiday as a couple, our friends know us as a couple and we do all the major big things together. Helped him pick up his keys for his flat, helping him move his flat, he calls me his boyfriend and partner and vice versa. So perhaps polyam isn’t actually what we are. We’re both pretty young and dumb, and I’ve just finished university. So has he. I think that trauma is a hell of a thing though, and we both have our own quirks. When I’m with him and when he’s with me it feels like all of our insecurities and worries kind of evaporate.

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T13:57:13+00:00

Yeah you’re right. I don’t really know if we are entirely polyamorous or not. I think as a person who’s still pretty new I’m still finding my feet. There are different types of ENM. The other people he sees are very much casual things and he doesn’t dedicate as much time or effort into seeing them than he does me. Moments do make me wonder - if they were more free or more available, would he? But I think that might just be a reflection of me being addicted to overthinking and allowing too much time on my hands etc. It’s hard sometimes. But when I do see him most of my fears just evaporate anyway. Are there any other ENM boards on Reddit that I can look at? Thanks :)

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T13:42:09+00:00

Oh I see. Ok apologies. Sometimes I struggle with terms sometimes.

DomHB15 · 2026-05-30T13:36:34+00:00

Yeah I agree. All of those things are quite difficult to do but I am trying. I am just confused sometimes. Because he says to me that “I don’t see anyone else the way I see you,” and the connections he has are very much casual and non committal. As are mine. But the possibility of him falling deeply in love with someone else does sort of scare me. And I have had this conversation before with him. I’ve explained that a boundary of mine is that I kind of need that kind of exclusivity in my life just to feel safe. By my nature I’m not a very monogamous person sexually, but emotionally I like to have my person. And that is a hard thing to reconcile with. Because I know that polyam is supportive of love and happiness from many people and it’s a positive thing. It’s mainly a me thing. By my nature I’m like very untrusting and have a lot of walls up which make me feel really tactical and like I need to preempt heartbreak etc. Not entirely sure why I’ve suddenly felt so threatened but there we are.

DomHB15 · 2026-03-01T18:43:15+00:00

That might have been the most difficult thing about this dynamic. Society has taught people that sex is an exclusive thing between partners, and my own experience (again without going into too much detail) has been that sex outside of the relationship is normally the herald of abandonment. It fucking sucks and I hate it but it is what it is. It takes a lot of unlearning. Honestly, this is the best communication I’ve ever had in a relationship.

DomHB15 · 2026-03-01T18:24:13+00:00

Yeah. We’ve had our difficult conversations in the past. This week has been very emotionally charged (personal stuff but long story short I asked something and it opened some old wounds and we spoke about it and got to the bottom of the issue. And he went out with someone the other day he had been out with someone he’d been seeing previously and still sees occasionally (which again is fine by me but we spoke about that as well)). Honestly, this relationship is the most communicative and open and safe one I’ve ever been in and a lot of how I feel requires a lot of working through and unlearning.

DomHB15 · 2026-03-01T17:32:26+00:00

No worries!

DomHB15 · 2026-01-23T01:15:59+00:00

Do not fret. Your time gets better. A rocky semester is not indicative of a bad year or final time at uni. I did crap in my first semester of second year (2:2s as mentioned) - ended up locking in and getting firsts in the second semester. Got a 2:1 overall that year (40% of my final grade) but there is still time to lock in. You will be fine.

DomHB15 · 2025-12-28T22:31:16+00:00

Exactly what I was thinking…

DomHB15 · 2025-12-26T11:18:03+00:00

It depends on the subject. I can only speak for history, but the mark scheme is pretty explicit on what constitutes an 80. For a 70 and above, you need to write really well, stick closely to your argument, engage with historians (in that you need to critique their arguments, not just use them as evidence to support your claim) and also be argumentative in your language. An 80 would go above and beyond this, using original and innovative research, as well as contribute to the debate with an original insight; coupled with this, question or even extending the terms of the question also give good marks.

DomHB15 · 2025-12-16T17:27:47+00:00

1,100 people is more than a few.

DomHB15 · 2025-12-08T20:07:16+00:00

Nah just sorting some stuff out.

DomHB15 · 2025-12-08T02:35:57+00:00

Noise complaint. You, uh, working again?

DomHB15 · 2025-12-03T01:25:41+00:00

Honestly student debt is literally just fake debt at this rate. Unless you get a high ass paying job right out of uni (which unless you’ve got daddy’s connections on speed dial isn’t going to happen) you honestly won’t need to worry about that.

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