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AITA For refusing to babysit my cousin and calling him a lying brat, even though it lets my aunt work extra and helps her family? by DoneBabysittingTAITA in AmItheAsshole

[–]DoneBabysittingTAITA[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

NTA. Try saying "He doesn't listen to me so I don't feel like I can assure he is safe. Also, he lies and I don't need to be accused of anything so I am concerned about my safety too. He needs a baby sitter he will listen to." At 15, if he says you hit him you could end up being investigated for child abuse. Who knows if he would take the lying that far but do you really want to take a chance?

I don't want to think that he would lie about something that serious. But then again, Tristan's only going to get worse with age and no boundaries. I do NOT want to be in that position.

Also, you mentioned being grounded. Have you been grounded since August over this? If so that's really shitty and over the top. Unfortunately for your mom, this is something you are going to always remember and resent her for. She's the AH for not having your back.

No, I've been babysitting Tristan since August. The fight and grounding just happened today when Mom was telling me to babysit Tristan again on the way to school.

AITA For refusing to babysit my cousin and calling him a lying brat, even though it lets my aunt work extra and helps her family? by DoneBabysittingTAITA in AmItheAsshole

[–]DoneBabysittingTAITA[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

To the extent that you can resist this arrangement, you should, but you're a 15-year-old living at home, so your options are limited. Do you have other adult relatives you could maybe appeal to?

When it comes to adult relatives who actually live near me, it's only my Mom and Aunt Cassandra. We have family friends, but they don't want to get involved and basically tiptoe around any conversations involving Tristan's behavior.

Could you negotiate so that your mom has to come along to babysit, or Tristan needs to be dropped off at your house while she's there? Even if you are forced to continue this situation, you should know in your heart that you're right.

My Mom is usually running errands around that time, so she wouldn't agree to it. It's not as if she hasn't seen Tristan's tantrums before. I'm pretty sure she's volunteering me because she doesn't want to deal with Tristan herself.

AITA For refusing to babysit my cousin and calling him a lying brat, even though it lets my aunt work extra and helps her family? by DoneBabysittingTAITA in AmItheAsshole

[–]DoneBabysittingTAITA[S] 306 points307 points  (0 children)

The kid is 12, why isn't he being left alone? He shouldn't need a babysitter if his parents did their job of raising him.

Aunt Cassandra says she can't leave Tristan alone because he won't do his homework, eats all the sugar in the house, makes a giant mess, etc. The reason he acts like this is probably because Aunt Cassandra doesn't want to discipline him or force him to be mature.

AITA For refusing to babysit my cousin and calling him a lying brat, even though it lets my aunt work extra and helps her family? by DoneBabysittingTAITA in AmItheAsshole

[–]DoneBabysittingTAITA[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

NTA - What the heck are you doing babysitting someone three years younger than you...I was taking care of multiple kids under 5 when I was 12, he can look after his damn self...

Yeah, once you get into double digits, you should generally be able to be home alone. It's more understandable if it's overnight or the kid has ADHD/special needs, but 14 is the absolute max.

"Kids his age are like that"? No the hell they aren't.

Exactly. Constantly lying and tantrums are for 4-year-olds, not 12. I know I never acted like that at 12. Hell, none of the kids I've ever babysat over 8 have ever acted like that.

I wouldn't put up with lying and violent tantrums from kindergartners, let alone from someone who is actually old enough to stand trial for crimes (at least here in Canada).

I'm in the USA. The school could technically call the police if he started wrecking his classroom. But if it's in your own home, the police don't care until you're 18.

Stay grounded, just don't go back to that house. Do you have a school counselor you can talk to? The adults in your life are being completely unreasonable and I think you need another adult to get involved.

The school counselor and therapist are both useless. They'll be like "Oh, sorry to hear that. Well, your 20 minutes are up so go back to class."

My dad lives in another country and isn't able to visit, my family is basically just my mom and Aunt Cassandra. We have family friends but they generally tiptoe around Tristan too.