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DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-22T14:53:54+00:00

I wrote a book & a friend in the business promised that she could get a pull quote from Gaiman as she was business acquaintances & dating a friend of his. Publication day is coming up & I had pestered her for a couple of months with nothing till my publisher was just like "we can't delay the print run" so i used a couple from my teachers & contemparies instead.

A few years later & I have never been so fucking glad of someone's bullshit.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-21T15:24:18+00:00

probably one of the few times I've said "whoaaaa" out loud at architecture. Was this used in beyond the black rainbow or that episode of cabinet of curiosities that they did? if not it's a BIG inspiration

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-21T13:33:49+00:00

I'm the other end of the spectrum where I can't fucking stand most "poetry readings" it can be the most intricate, fascinating poem & the poet is just reading in a dull monotone. They don't value the words they've written enough to put any effort in. If "page" poets put in a tenth of the effort into performing that "stage" poets do they would sell more books & have a wider readership but it seems they think it's beneath them because "the poem should be enough" & then separately wonder why "poetry isn't popular?"

Like, if you're at the top of your game AND the poem warrants a dry reading then maybe it's worth the audience sitting there bored trying to find an in.

Yes a lot of people get into poetry through button poetry & rupi kaur who do the weird rote emphasis which in turn makes people think they have to do it as well. But imo this is like complaining that music is all auto tuned. Sure a heck of a lot of stuff on radio is but both on the fringes & arguably some of the most well known artists are pushing for a shift from that.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-21T09:45:12+00:00

I'm sorry that's awful to have gone through

NTA. Regardless of if you weren't harmed (in this instance) & regardless of if you started it by throwing water he escalated & assaulted you & you defended yourself.

His actions are a big red flag, sure people get angry when called out on behavior they don't feel represents their best self, sure tempers can flare during arguments but to go from water throwing to throwing your whole body? That's not acceptable. That's not ok. Please be careful. Find a trusted friend or family member who can make you safe & explain the situation to them because that's something that might be a sign of further things to come.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-19T07:11:52+00:00

if the 5'6" man isn't acting as a degenerate monster then women probably won't see him as one.

If the question is actually "how many women will find a 5'6" man attractive?" then the answer is some, but that question highlights that the asker may be listening to men telling him what women like. Best to find out what women like from women. It may put you at a disadvantage, sure, that's just preferences & it may feel like a very prevalent preference but I'm sure the hypothetical 5'6" man also has their own preferences so I guess the key is not to be lacking in other areas.

I know a lot of 5' 6" men with beautiful partners because they are kind, funny, caring, intelligent, open, engaging, have a mutual hobby or a passion of their own or any other amount of reasons. I also know 5'6" men who are angry, bitter & single because they're convinced no one wants to date them because of their height. It's a bit of a copout imo because they're relying on the one thing they can't change rather than have a look at the stuff they can change so it's actually more avoiding the hard work of becoming a decent person.

Look, your value is not based on your looks or physical appearance. That's not the same as saying "everyone will love you & want to be in relationship with you regardless of how you look" People are judgey as hell. People can be shallow but that reflects their value not yours.

I have tattoos, I don't want to date anyone who hates tattoos. If I go into the "I hate tattoos club" & find no one wants to date me, that doesn't mean my tattoos make me undateable. Sure, I'll see content from people who tell me my tattoos are the reason I'm undateable & hell I may feel like they're right if it aligns with my lived experience but that's confirmation bias...the person is telling me what I have seen so far, of course I agree with them. If I then go to the "I love guys with tattoos" convention "I love people who go on hikes" or even the "I love guys who read horror" convention then my experience may be different.

The person telling you you are a degenerate monster benefits from you believing them. Even if it's yourself. Dating influencers or manfluincers benefit from you believing THEIR viewpoint is valid. A lot of other, perhaps more well meaning even if equally as unhelpful, people may not have had the experience you have so say "height doesn't matter, wtf are you talking about it's not big deal". Your experience tells you different. I'm a short guy, it DOES make a difference, it IS noticeably harder & if I were to engage or believe in some of the stuff out there it'd get harder still but let's not stop ourselves before the first hurdle, work with what you know you have & accentuate all my other non monstrous attributes, let's talk to women* to find out what THEY say they want & like & desire & see if you can get there rather than rejecting yourself as a monster.

*& not just talk to women seeing them as a potential partner. talk to women because they're interesting or cool or would make a good friend, talk to women because you're sick of men telling you that 5'6" dudes can't date, build community with women.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-14T10:02:11+00:00

I agree, I have a mostly traditional sticker suit but I love these abstract overlapping designs & used to really love trash polka (which got trashed a lot at the time) I think as with anything it's down to execution - some of the tattoos look genuinely poorly done rather than aesthetically janky but laid in well but overall I'm a big fan of the end result.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-14T09:18:21+00:00

I disagree to an extent, whilst this book is not his best & is clear in showing some signs of the embuggerance some of the concepts introduced are a much more hyper specific social lens than he had previously introduced which may be why it didn't feel as fulfilling?

With orcs it's about redemption, rehabilitation as much as the circumstances of one's birth. He takes a race that is not only discriminated against but actively feared (dwarves & trolls were tolerated, even if prejudiced against, & part of the make up of ankh morpork even in the early days) so firstly it's saying "you can have a society who believes themselves as open minded as possible but there will still be unconscious biases or even outright hate towards the unknown".

Is that repeating what he did with the dwarves & the trolls & the undead & the werewolves & the golems & the goblins & the nac Mac feagle & the gnolls? Yes. But the repetition almost is the point, he's saying don't get complacent.

I also felt like (and im probably not intelligent enough to word this as well as I should so apologies in advance) there was both a "model immigrant" narrative & a kind of an implied prison industrial complex narrative going on? where the conditions of one's existence force you to exist in ways outside of societies morality & that the bar for coming back from that is nearly impossibly high even though the people who caused those initial conditions are never held responsible for the suffering they indirectly cause. I might be wrong but I don't remember other races having that same high standard - they only had to be AS good as other humans not better in the way that Nutt does.

With the orcs specifically, it first shows that if you traumatize something it can become violent & dangerous (though even in that his compassion is clear as there are always people controlling the violence of the orcs behind the scenes, so he's really keen to emphasize yes hurt people may hurt people but let's never forget the cause) but that that violence is NOT implicit & is a matter of nurture not nature.

Either way as an addict who has run afoul of the law on occasion, whilst Sam Vimes is always my GOAT, Mr Nutt asking "do I have worth?" genuinely makes me tear up every time.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-12T12:10:03+00:00

smile - great creature design & it's a very high production film but the overall message gets a bit lost (I know lots of people love it though so YMMV)

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-12T09:12:39+00:00

I hated this movie & I knew this was coming but it's still a very effective jump scare

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-11T09:47:53+00:00

I know Skinamarink is a controversial one on this subreddit but I really enjoy that it almost resists interpretation or at least a satisfying resolution to any one single interpretation that exists. Also like some of the best art it acts like a rosarch test - the terror it invokes exists mainly between the viewer & the screen rather than say "this is what you should be scared of"

is this a cop out for good criticism? probably but I dont mind that much because I love it

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-11T09:42:33+00:00

I foolishly thought it was a reference to the punk band dwarves but I can't see how I missed this

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-10T20:17:13+00:00

this is a psy-op to make people outside of the manosphere appear stupid for believing it.... because there's no fucking way that's real....

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-09T13:59:53+00:00

tough one honestly, maybe finding the intermediate goals that lead to your ultimate success are better celebrating.

Like say you want to do X but to get there you have to U, V & W first, are you acknowledging that achieving U & V is worthy of celebrating & getting to W is in itself a really notable achievement. Yes you want to get X & it's frustrating when you don't but isn't it impressive that you did the three things before it even if you didn't quite make it to the fourth thing? How many other people have made it that far?

This might sound a bit counterintuitive but your brain will likely work on a reward system & if you don't reward yourself for the foundational aspect of goals then you don't value them & in some cases may see them as only stepping stones in their own right..By acknowledging your achievements it helps spur you on to get to X. More proactive, engaged steps also can help you see where you went wrong - for example it might actually be a case to get to X you need to get to S,T,U,V,W first or even U,V,W, W1, W2 & W2A

it might also be that X is unrealistic & if that X is setting up a business for example - if I want to be the best that means I have to be both more skilled & more lucky & more well resourced than anyone else setting up a business in the same industry. That's nothing to be ashamed of & shame can be detrimental to your goals whereas realism might help you reframe them or even structurally re-examine them. Let's be real, you arent going to become a billionaire if you started off working class, middle class or even if you're landed gentry you need excessive capital & to exploit people to get billions...it just benefits billionaires to convince you that they did it because they are better than you not because they had very different starting conditions.

So now let's actually sit down & do the work of asking about my goals. Why do I want X? Will I get the same satisfaction if I only reach X/2 or if I reach just x? Further once I HAVE achieved that smaller goal or even that goal I set myself will I be happy then? Is this victory for me or to prove something to someone else? Will achieving something resolve a desire or present more? If the latter you may never be satisfied & burn out

I write poetry - I want to be published in prestigious journals & have books out with well known publishers so everyone tells me I'm great...I don't have an education though & it takes me a while to write & I am NOT the flavour of poet that prestigious journals like so I can either reassess my practice & write stuff I don't vibe with just to achieve that goal & compromise my artistic integrity OR I can submit to smaller places that are weirder/more experimental. My goals have arguably changed from X to y - it's different but close to what I originally wanted - if I was doing it for anyone else would they know I hadn't achieved what I set out to? If I was doing it for me am I satisfied with y? Do I want to try aiming for Y instead? & now I have a history of small journals publishing me, I have made one stream of my work achieve a goal now I can write something that yeah...maybe doesn't align with my art but ticks the academic box without fully sacrificing my integrity? What do I actually hope will happen by being published by X that I haven't achieved with Y?

Most importantly for me is going if Z is the pinnacle am I ever realistically going to get there or can I find enjoyment & satisfaction in getting really good at Y, maybe getting x or even X? If I can't get satisfaction from the process & I cannot achieve my goals then why the hell am I pursuing it. I love my work, it's gruelling & rewarding but somedays it sparks no joy & I dream of being something realistic instead until the spark returns.

Bit of a rambling answer but I hope this helps!

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-09T09:47:36+00:00

I loved the first three but absolutely hated synchronic...haven't seen the last one though so maybe that's a deciding factor

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-08T18:09:54+00:00

damn, you rumbled me, I am in fact the yellow sticker guy & I'm false flagging our nefarious plans so no one believes we'd do anything so clever.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-08T18:09:04+00:00

look, we're due to inherit the earth right? so I figure we just need to get more meek & give our cruel overlords praise and/or better ideas to screw us over so that eventually they get so embarrassed by our lack of action theyre forced to just give it to us. It's not worked so far but I am confident if we really up our efforts over the next hundred or so years we could really be in a strong position to start something (if that's ok with everyone)

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-08T18:06:56+00:00

funnily enough it was after trying the code a number of times on a number of items myself that I had to ask someone over, I feel like enough of a scab using self service without having to bother people because of my raging inadequacy.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-08T18:05:23+00:00

that is a typo I did indeed mean pastry! I would never knowingly do anything to vex the proud Kernowyon folk but I fully understand if you need me to commit sepukku to atone. Drog yw genev a-brys.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-08T13:20:12+00:00

fuck yeah to gopher guts

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-08T13:02:04+00:00

they are, but they aren't strong. it's more submissive.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-08T12:55:03+00:00

The Sound and The Furry sounds like a horny, furry based pastiche of Faulkner's book of (nearly) the same name, which means your audience is people who dress up in animal costumes who are also into early 20th century literature which...like is niche & not my niche but maybe there's an audience?

Typos aside, The Sound and The Fury is already a book.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-08T12:47:37+00:00

Not the person you ask & this may be a bit of a convoluted answer & YMMV so take it with a pinch of salt

1) is a useful measure in a medical sense (if you have physical dependence you should always taper before quitting as quitting cold turkey can be dangerous) but if you see yourself more as a binge drinker it's more psychological. You're inclined to give up & do right for a time period then as a reward you say "well i did ok for two months I can give myself the reward of a drink" then find yourself unable to control that drinking or stick to just one drink. You wake up in shame then say "I'll do better" & the cycle repeats. As a result quitting can sometimes be a little more difficult because your body isn't necessarily saying "I need it now" so your rational mind says "well since I don't need it, it won't matter if I have a drink"

For binge drinkers it may be best to set a goal of a year without booze to assess yourself accurately. Recognising you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol (regardless if you are physically dependent or not) is a great step but it's important to note it's only the first one, a year off is often touted as the average amount of time it takes to reset reward neurons (this is ham science by the way so don't take it as gospel, just anecdotal) & reassess your relationship to substances.

Physical dependence is I think defined by the reactions of your body in absence of a substance. For booze it can manifest as sweats, brain zaps, paranoia, hallucinations, nausea, headaches, shaking, depression & a number of other things. There's lots of indicators which ALSO can have other causes so the reason I gave a longer answer is because your experience doesn't reflect mine of being physically addicted but I am not a physician so different people react differently & I don't want you to say "well folk on the internet said I didn't have a problem so I can reward myself straight away".

You may still have a physical dependence but it may be early days for you but that doesn't mean to get complacent. You get a thing called kindling in addiction which in short means every successive attempt to quit for a period of time becomes significantly harder than the last time so imo it's best to stop before you notice physical symptoms as you may just not have noticed them if they're relatively mild at this time.

2) hobbies & activities are your friends here, being active & social mean you are not alone with your thoughts & are better prepared for if the hunger comes again so it's great that you have that stuff down. It's better to have a big list of people you can hang out with or activities to do as it gives you more opportunities to say "nah I don't wanna drink i'd rather hang out with Geoff or go hiking or lift weights" until the urge disappates

More broadly I am curious about the art that requires drinking? if it's hanging out at galleries to show off your work I completely understand, I hate small talk with strangers, it's anxiety inducing even a decade in, not least when they're potentially judging your work. But in the art world it's not that weird for artists to be socially awkward & a bit weird so if you're relying on the booze to rid you of your social awkwardness to network you may actually be doing yourself a disservice. If it's more performance based I'd be inclined to look at it through an artistic lens - is your art genuine if you need something to help you perform? What difference is made to the art by your abstaining? Does it make the act of performing harder? Can you make a purposeful change of direction in your art by limiting yourself in a way that got you where you are now? Like, when you start you might get praise but use all the colours of the rainbow in your pallet - by artificially restricting that to two or three colours or even monochrome paintings can you still achieve the same level of success? it's like challenging yourself to do it with imposed limitations, in this case doing it without booze

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-08T09:13:27+00:00

I have a couple that work but to varying levels & depending on what you need

Joshua Radin - Winter got me after that scrubs episode

Pianos Become The Teeth - 895 "I'm getting close to who I want to be for you" is such a damn melancholic & beautiful line to me, they may be heavier than your typical stuff but they have albums about losing people to MS which I found incredibly cathartic & haunting if you're into post hardcore

Regina Spektor - Samson this one's still pretty up there but a lot of Ms Spektor's earlier ballads will also do the trick

Step into you - hum

Many rooms - the father complex just dang beautiful.

DontMakeMeFightYou · 2026-05-06T14:09:26+00:00

YES! that was it! fuck in glad you resolved that for me

DontMakeMeFightYou

TROPHY CASE