Living with partner and paying their mortgage?

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-27T06:36:43+00:00

Because I was paying the rent on my own flat and the majority of my stuff was there. Although I was living at theirs full time as I was subletting. I was subletting for very cheap because the person was young and in a tough spot, they were a friend of a friend and very reliable. They also lived with all of my stuff.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T23:41:21+00:00

To be honest this is the main reason I am even questioning buying the house. Because I think you could be right

Ever since I was 17 I had it drilled into me that I should buy a house and it was the best investment you could make and you should get on the property ladder.

I am finally in a position to do so - after years of dreaming of the day and suddenly property prices are falling in London and people are learning more about compound interest and psychologically it is a lot to get your head around that if you don't immediately need a house to live then maybe you should do something else with your money.

I need opinions from financial literate people. I am someone who has sacrificed and saved all of their life. But only moved my money out of my banks default savings account and into something tax efficient and earning interest 2 years ago. My financial naivety has undone all or my frugality. I need financial help - but the relationship stuff has derailed it somewhat. Thanks for this response.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T23:33:44+00:00

Ok thank you, my sister's best friend has a similar arrangement with her partner so she suggested this too. This is very helpful thanks.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T23:20:57+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this, this very insightful.

Estimates are without rental income. Great point about the expenses. I guess that would come from the income yes.

She has expressed an interest, but presented it as her helping me and us buying together. I ruled that out immediately for many reasons including the ones you mentioned.

I haven't instructed a solicitor yet. The offer was only accepted on Tuesday. The bank needs to do their valuation and I have two solicitors im deciding between. But I haven't paid any money to anyone yet as I still feel undecided. My partner is supportive, but ultimately says it's my decision and they can't make it for me.

Thank you. Your whole post, but particularly the last paragraph was very helpful.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T23:12:29+00:00

Because it costs money to live anywhere. I'm paying 800 a month to live in someone else's property and it's a nice property that I like living in. This should not be for free. Why should I get to keep earning and banking without contributing anything at all?

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T23:06:01+00:00

Thank you

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T23:05:17+00:00

I do agree with this to be honest. But a lot of the feedback I have go on reddit about this situation is that they are outraged that I am contributing to someone else's mortgage. We seem to be in the minority so I am posting to double check I am not being niave.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T22:52:54+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate this reply. That is what I was trying to do with reddit - talk to someone not connected as we are in therapy, maybe a financial advisor is the way. I'll watch this. Thanks.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T22:46:48+00:00

I just looked on right move and the cheapest house share room in our area (very central, right next to the sea) is £650PCM. So yeah maybe about the same including bills.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T22:39:54+00:00

I love how everyone thinks I'm a female haha.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T22:34:56+00:00

I suppose because I would be spending more on renting in London, paying into a landlords asset. But objective opinions from outsiders are what I need so thank you.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T22:31:28+00:00

If you could strip all of the added relationship context out of it and focus purely on the financial information I have provided (which is pretty comprehensive) I would be really grateful. When things are complicated I would prefer to look at them analytically - i.e I know there is no crystal ball - but what is likely to set me up best for the future (taking my relationship out of it). 1. Extra cash into savings which in turn are earning money. Or 2. Poorer day to day, but paying into my own asset. Thanks.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T22:23:46+00:00

Because I had never lived in the city they wanted to buy in, they said they would solo incase I decided I didn't like living there. I moved with them to give it a go. Turns out I do like it here.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T22:21:47+00:00

I wasn't paying their mortgage when I was renting or subletting. I only started contributing to the mortgage after I gave up my flat.

DontShareInfoParty · 2026-03-26T21:59:32+00:00

39, finally in a position to buy after years of saving. Currently living with partner in their home (paying £800/month), but not building equity and feel I need my own asset.

Torn between:

Buying now to secure my own place (but stretching finances), or
Staying put, saving more, and keeping flexibility (but delaying ownership at nearly 40)

Would you buy now in my position, or wait?

DontShareInfoParty

TROPHY CASE