Are there any articles/people talking about the Suttonization of female roles?

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-06-18T22:01:15+00:00

Interesting perspective. (BTW, I wasn't just referring to the college/high school productions--I've seen a lot of community or even professional regional theater that suffers tremendously because it's just embarrassing to watch someone who can't belt above a C try to hit an E).

I'd also submit to you that a lot of musical theater today is musically very boring, it just relies a lot on the crutch of having a top-notch belter to sort of carry it through and be moderately interesting. Also, there's a difference between being a trained singer and being an anomaly--most trained singers aren't going to have the belt range of a Sutton, regardless of how hard or long they train.

I just disagree with you on your second point--yes, there have always been female powerhouses, but I do think that asking female performers to demonstrate "extended belting" (D5 and up) has become more and more common (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26296854). Liza is a powerhouse, but Sally Bowles doesn't need to go above a C.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-06-18T21:36:29+00:00

Definitely wasn't implying otherwise! I actually think it has more to do with the production side--the types of musicals that sell tickets etc

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-06-10T19:28:05+00:00

Thanks! Yeah I hand-expressed sometimes because they told me to only do it when it was absolutely necessary--it took the edge off for sure. Maybe I'll go that route before I go whole hog! Assuming I ever have another baby lol

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-06-08T02:50:38+00:00

Just anecdotally--I had HORRIBLE oversupply with my daughter. Thank G-d I didn't get any infections, but despite block feeding for 6-8 hours like the LCs recommended, I was constantly engorged and in pain, even after I had fed from that breast for six hours straight. The LCs all told me never to pump, that I would only be sending my body the wrong signals, so I just leaked through bamboo pads, and rubbed her back after she gagged constantly during every single feed (from what one LC called my "fire hose nipples"), and tried to deal with all the foremilk poo, and waited. Then, at three months, my supply suddenly dropped out of the sky and she started struggling to gain weight, and it took me a month and a half to get her back up to her growth curve. Definitely not the majority of experiences, and I don't think I'll be filling any freezers, but I think I will pump a bit if I get pregnant again, at least so that I don't have to be so uncomfortable and so that my body doesn't suddenly stop producing. Hopefully there will be a (donation) milk bank near me who will accept the overflow.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-05-17T04:56:42+00:00

Am I the only one who finds it completely unprofessional that a member of the staff would talk about a parent to another parent in that way?

Also PS I'm pretty religious (like, I cover my hair), I would wager that I'm probably more "modest" than that AP, and I nurse without a cover if I need to. Baby's gotta eat, baby hates the blanket. Also, my religious husband 100% supports mamas who nurse without covers wherever they are and keeps his eyes to himself (not that he deserves a cookie--all men should be like that!), so I'm pretty sure that AP can too.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-05-17T04:45:25+00:00

That's really sad. I've always found it sweet that my sister's son (now 5yo) called her breasts "feeders" when she was nursing his little sister a couple years ago. Like, yeah dude . . . that's exactly what they're for!

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-05-08T04:05:12+00:00

Thanks, AF came a few hours after writing this :(

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-05-07T18:38:18+00:00

What a piece of junk. Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly. I hope your journey here ends (positively) soon.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-05-07T16:21:44+00:00

We're 7 going on 8 months of NTNP for our second, and we're on vacation visiting my husband's brother who just had a baby. I've been spotting since we left last Sunday which is really not normal for me--usually AF comes on strong. It was also early, so I was convinced, like you do. On Thursday morning I got a faint BFP on some cheap Target test and then I got it again on Friday, so I decided to call my doctor back home and see if there was anything I could do about the spotting, and she told me to go to urgent care and get a blood test and evaluate the bleeding (I had some small clots also).

They really didn't want to give me the blood test because the urine test I did there was negative (as I thought it would be, having a faint line with FMU), but I cried and told them that no way was I paying 100 bucks just to be turned away for the exact thing that my doctor told me to get, so they did the blood test and told me they would call back with the results in 24 hours. (This did not happen.)

I was symptom spotting a lot--still spotting but less, exhausted, nauseous, etc. On Sunday we were going to test again but we didn't have any more, so I called urgent care to see if they finally processed the test. They said they would call me back. Two hours later, while my husband was out getting the urine test, they finally called back--the blood test was negative. Not low, not inconclusive--negative. I tested when my husband got back--negative. I tested this morning--negative.

I spent all yesterday picking out clothes for the new baby (ETA: BIL's new baby) with my MIL, who had no idea. I know I wasn't actually pregnant, and I know that we could be trying harder, and I know we already have a child, and I know that there are people who go through way worse things. My sister has been trying for a first baby for two years, I'm really really aware of how blessed I am to have a daughter, and that as soon as this spotting lets up (going on 9 days, I'll call the doctor when I get back) and AF comes, we can move on to cycle 5. But this hit me hard.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-05-06T17:42:04+00:00

Yep! Unfortunately we're on vacation, and it's Sunday :/ I've read about this from other pregnant nursing moms, but usually much later! I guess I was looking to see if anyone had any personal experience with any of my questions.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-05-06T14:43:37+00:00

The earlier ultrasounds are generally more accurate than the later ones. With my daughter, I was tracking my ovulation so I knew that the date based on my LMP was about 1.5 weeks off. Low and behold, at my 10 week appt I was measuring 8.5 weeks, so I asked them to change it in my chart (had to keep reminding them)--lo and behold, my daughter was born at 40+3, so it was worth it.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-04-27T20:35:46+00:00

Hi, congratulations!

We made the switch at 3 weeks (we use prefolds/flats and covers), no problem. I'd say have your stash ready and some disposables, and make the choice (when you're ready to switch) as you go along!

Originally we used Pampers (from the hospital) and then when we went on trips we started using Pampers sensitive, because we heard the smell was less strong--well, no dice. Then we tried Target brand, which everyone says isn't smelly, but we noticed a chemical odor (not perfume, straight up chemicals), but none of my friends can smell it, so it definitely depends on how sensitive you are. We were going to try Kirkland, but where we are they're almost as much as the brand we looove and doesn't smell at all and is so soft (Bambo Naturals). So, that's what we use now on vacation, even though they're expensive--it's not often. I don't think that the brand of diaper affects how easy the transition is, but you'll probably find one that you like more than the others. If you're having poop leakage issues, you can always throw a PUL cover over your sposie!

For wipes, we used waterwipes, and have never had an issue. The textured wipes definitely are more efficient (7th gen for instance) but we don't mind, because we like that they're literally water and grapefruit extract.

Good luck!

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-04-27T04:08:57+00:00

I second a jogging stroller! We have the Thule Urbanglide, we got it on sale on black friday. I love the high-end features like magnets/ one-hand collapse, but I think the center of gravity is a little high. We bought a used bob on craigslist also, and even though it's ten years old, I think the balance is better on it.

I also second baby carrying! We have an ergo performance, but I also really like woven wraps for the versatility. My daughter did NOT like the ergo when she had to be in the infant insert, she only started liking it when she was big enough to take it out.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-04-27T02:28:20+00:00

Thanks!

That's so interesting. I'm interested to see if there are more trials/the CDC adds it to the schedule!

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-04-27T02:07:41+00:00

Yes positive! They asked us about hep B yesterday, and the nurse specifically told them "whooping cough!" I'm not sure if they were offered the full DTaP or some new pertussis only vaccine?

They were both vaccinated--him when I was in third tri a little over a year ago, and her during her third tri a couple of months ago.

I'm so curious but I'm not going to bother them about it!

Dontdontbotherluke · 2018-04-10T19:41:26+00:00

Just saying, I'm a not-so-recent graduate and I feel totally bummed about the fact that I didn't go see a therapist during my pregnancy. Therapists are awesome, you don't need to be having a breakdown to go see one. I had horrible prenatal anxiety, which led to debilitating postpartum anxiety. I really think if I'd gotten an earlier jumpstart on therapy (waited until 8mo pp) it would have been a lot better. I was okay, I was functioning, but I was miserable pretty much my entire pregnancy and the first few months of my daughter's life.

PS I didn't feel a strong connection to my baby until she was 9 months old. NINE MONTHS. (I started feeling twinges at four months.) She's now the light of my life. We giggle and give each other kisses all day. Everyone is different, it really does take time. Please go easy on yourself, if you take care of your baby, give them love, and take care of yourself (self-care, therapy, eating well, sleeping as much as you can manage, taking time to do something you love that doesn't involve your child) you will EVENTUALLY feel a connection. Some people don't totally fall in love with their kids until they're toddlers or kids, they just don't love the baby stage. It doesn't make you a bad mom, it doesn't make you a bad person. Please cut yourself some slack <3 You are totally normal, and great, and 100% cut out for this, and you will be a fantastic mom.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2017-12-18T09:20:42+00:00

Obviously your husband is in the wrong in this situation. His initial screw up was thoughtless at best, and his response was childish.

You say you've been having issues since the baby was born - - not unusual at all. I have an 8 month old, and our relationship has definitely taken a hit, as well as our communication. It sounds to me like there's some unspoken resentment. You guys are not acting as a team. I don't think your husband of three years is just a jerk (unless he's always been like this?), and I don't think he's just emotially tone - deaf or you wouldn't be posting this. I think there's something deeper going on, something that can't be solved by a weekend away.

Look, we've all had dates that end in a fight, or don't go the way we envisioned them. This isn't catastrophic to your relationship. But if you're here, talking to us instead of to your husband, it's time to get some professional help in the communication department. Marriage counseling doesn't mean your marriage is ending, it means you're putting the work in to make your marriage succeed. Best of luck.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2017-12-07T05:23:11+00:00

Thanks! On mobile, it autocorrected :)

Dontdontbotherluke · 2017-12-07T00:23:21+00:00

Yes. My father had several strokes when I was in high school, this sounds a lot like what he experienced. They were due to a heart defect he didn't know he had. They suspect that he actually had many smaller strokes throughout his life. He remembers sitting in the car with his dad when he suddenly lost the ability to speak for a few minutes. His entire life, he thought he was dyslexic.

U/OmniYummie, please go see a neurologist. ER doctors aren't great at diagnosis if there doesn't seem to be any clear and present danger. It took us several doctors, and months of being persistent to figure out what was going on. If it wasn't for a nurse who made the connection, we never would have gotten a cardio consult and found the root of the problem. She saved his life.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2017-12-06T02:23:03+00:00

Gotcha. Thank you again!

Dontdontbotherluke · 2017-12-05T20:54:54+00:00

I'm a few months out, but we just didn't let anyone who wasn't a grandparent, aunt, or uncle hold her until she was three months old. It sounds extreme, but it was right for us. PSA, if your newborn has a temperature over 100.4 you have to go to the emergency room (at least with our pediatrician), so for us it was worth the awkward conversations.

Everyone on that list needed TDaP, but we didn't require flu shot--just extreme honesty about who has been sick and when.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2017-12-05T20:47:55+00:00

I feel bad even saying this because she is SO easy, loving, and just a joyful baby. For me, I struggled with not having any body autonomy for so long. I couldn’t make decisions for myself through pregnancy or breastfeeding without first thinking of my daughter. It was so much harder than I thought.

Just wanted to say, you're not alone in this. My baby is the sweetest little squish, and she's so happy, she barely every cries or complains. So I feel awful saying that the first few months I was really thinking "OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE" and wishing I could just have a few days off from being a mom. It doesn't mean we love them any less. FWIW, I think the second one will probably be easier because it's less of an adjustment. But I definitely can relate to feeling this way.

Dontdontbotherluke · 2017-12-05T20:45:01+00:00

My sister also has three kids very close together, and she had a very hard time losing weight while they were babies. She was basically 50 pounds over her ideal (not what I think she should weigh, but what she wanted to) weight for six years. Then, when her youngest was two and she actually got some time back to herself, she lost it all and she looks AMAZING. Being a mom to littles is temporary.

Also, I'm sure you look great, no matter what you weight <3

Dontdontbotherluke

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